A fresh, simpler start- needing support

[MommaLura]

Hi everyone! I've been a lurker and an occasional drop in, but I seriously want a change. I need a fresh start and less clutter, but I get overwhelmed easily and I'm not sure where to start. I have a case of ADD and I'm all over the place. Before I sat down to type this I worked in the sewing area, closet, bathroom, and bedroom. Oy! (I can't say I accomplished a ton in any spot.)

So, where should I start? Thanks for any support you can offer, this will be an emotional journey, I'm sure.

[Piratelady2525]

Im on my own journey to declutter and organize, and I think the key is to make lists and go one room/project at a time.  Pick the room or area that bothers you the most, and start there.  Make a list of the things in the room that you use all the time, and be really picky!  Keep only the most important things, multi-use items, etc.  For example, in my kitchen, I had a ton of little appliances and junk.  Do I really need both a toaster and a toaster oven?  No, toss the toaster, since the other can do double duty.  I am working on this myself, and we recently had a good sized garage sale to get rid of round one of the clutter I pulled out of our house.  Round two will happen in a couple months (we are moving to a new house an hour away).  Good luck with yours!

[mkksmom]

I do the same thing-- bounce from room to room. I think that I am going to try focusing on 1 room until it's finished and move on. I dream of moving to a new house to start over though.

[eirual]

Have you read the Fly Lady's Sink Reflections?

It really helped me realize what was holding me back and where I was going wrong. 

She has a schedule to go by (i.e. week #2 you work on the following zones: x,y,z). She also says a big part of slacking off is perfectionism- you put things off because you don't have time to do it perfectly- instead she encourages doing what you can when you can.

Another thing I love about her methods is that you only work on one job for 15 minute intervals- and you don't take out what can't be put back in an hour's (?) time.

http://www.amazon.ca/Sink-Reflections-Marla-Cilley/dp/0553382179

I must say, I like the book much better than the internet groups/e-mails she has. I find her personality obnoxious, but I like the steps in her book.

[kerc]

I see it as two methods:

1. do one room or one spot at a time and train yourself to only work on that spot.

or

2. set a timer and see what you can pick up in 10 minutes.

Method 2 tends to work when you have a lot of stuff to either pick up or toss. Method 1 is better (IMO) for getting rid of the tricky stuff.

[jadekat]

Originally Posted by kerc 

I see it as two methods:

1. do one room or one spot at a time and train yourself to only work on that spot.

or

2. set a timer and see what you can pick up in 10 minutes.

Method 2 tends to work when you have a lot of stuff to either pick up or toss. Method 1 is better (IMO) for getting rid of the tricky stuff.

I use the timer alot to motivate myself. I really slack off when it comes to folding and putting away laundry. I set the timer for 10 minutes and fold until it goes off. Then I set it for 5 minutes and put away. It helps me to not sit down and fold everything and leave it in piles for the kids to knock over.

[MommaLura]

Thank you all! I will give the different ideas a try. Before kids I had kids thrived on Flylady, but I always had all the time in the world. After ds was born everything spiraled out of control and I found just keeping the kitchen sink clean was impossible. I still follow her 15 minutes, love that, but really I only have 15 minutes *total* in the first part of the day and 15 minutes at the end of the day. I'm a multi-tasking failure

My problem is the entire house bothers me! We are slowly getting somewhere. We made great progress in the bedroom yesterday. Today we went grocery shopping so I barely got laundry done (see what I mean? LOL)

[mkksmom]

I just wanted to add that I have a Sept "baby" 1 year older than yours and I am just starting to get stuff under control again. Hang in there. A month ago, I was looking into coping strategies for ADD and I found that the symptoms of sleep-deprivation are very similar. If you aren't getting great sleep, that could be part of the problem. I haven't been able to night-wean my girls until 18 months, but it made such a difference and my whole life got easier each time. Until then, yes, I'd start with the kitchen and just try to keep up in there. I personally washed clothes but couldn't get them all put away if I tried.

Another thing-- I am doing the 2011 things in 2011 challenge here, and I am almost there. It is making a huge difference! But hang in there, it does get easier.

[Crayfish]

I'd say: Get rid of stuff. Not by doing a lot of elaborate planning and organizing, but by always having a trash bag and a donation box around, and making a point of dropping things into them and getting them out of the house when they're full.

 

Because that's the core of simplifying your house - getting stuff out of it. It's tempting to, say, set out to reorganize your closet, and pull everything out of it, and count up the stuff, and make stacks for mending and summer and winter and so on. But doesn't that usually end up with all those stacks sitting around for a few days, and then all getting stuffed back in the closet, with little real progress made?

 

So an alternative is to open your closet and find _one_ thing that you can either trash or donate, and carry it to the trash bag or donate box. And then do it again. And again. And when you're interrupted or distracted, your progress remains - those items are still in the trash bag or donation box.

 

And the same in the kitchen - open the cabinets, look around, and find that Tupperware bowl with no lid, and put it in the trash. Look around again and find those six fast food souvenir cups that you no longer care about and put them in the trash. Pick up that cast iron skillet that you thought you'd season and use, seven years ago when you bought it, that's just been gathering rust since. And put it in the donation box. And, again, when you're distracted or interrupted, that progress is still maintained.

 

If you keep on doing this, one thing at a time, reminding yourself and reminding yourself to deal with one more thing as often as possible, then your storage areas will start thinning out more and more. Someday you'll have to "organize", yes, but that's the less important part - it's the getting rid of stuff that's really the key.

 

Crayfish

 

[jadekat]

Originally Posted by mkksmom 

I just wanted to add that I have a Sept "baby" 1 year older than yours and I am just starting to get stuff under control again. Hang in there. A month ago, I was looking into coping strategies for ADD and I found that the symptoms of sleep-deprivation are very similar. If you aren't getting great sleep, that could be part of the problem. I haven't been able to night-wean my girls until 18 months, but it made such a difference and my whole life got easier each time. Until then, yes, I'd start with the kitchen and just try to keep up in there. I personally washed clothes but couldn't get them all put away if I tried.

Another thing-- I am doing the 2011 things in 2011 challenge here, and I am almost there. It is making a huge difference! But hang in there, it does get easier.

I agree with the bolded part. I'm in the process of weaning my almost 23 month old DS. Since we've cut back on nursing I have more energy. I didn't feel like I functioned very well until mine  were around a year.

Originally Posted by Crayfish 

I'd say: Get rid of stuff. Not by doing a lot of elaborate planning and organizing, but by always having a trash bag and a donation box around, and making a point of dropping things into them and getting them out of the house when they're full.

 

Because that's the core of simplifying your house - getting stuff out of it. It's tempting to, say, set out to reorganize your closet, and pull everything out of it, and count up the stuff, and make stacks for mending and summer and winter and so on. But doesn't that usually end up with all those stacks sitting around for a few days, and then all getting stuffed back in the closet, with little real progress made?

 

So an alternative is to open your closet and find _one_ thing that you can either trash or donate, and carry it to the trash bag or donate box. And then do it again. And again. And when you're interrupted or distracted, your progress remains - those items are still in the trash bag or donation box.

 

And the same in the kitchen - open the cabinets, look around, and find that Tupperware bowl with no lid, and put it in the trash. Look around again and find those six fast food souvenir cups that you no longer care about and put them in the trash. Pick up that cast iron skillet that you thought you'd season and use, seven years ago when you bought it, that's just been gathering rust since. And put it in the donation box. And, again, when you're distracted or interrupted, that progress is still maintained.

 

If you keep on doing this, one thing at a time, reminding yourself and reminding yourself to deal with one more thing as often as possible, then your storage areas will start thinning out more and more. Someday you'll have to "organize", yes, but that's the less important part - it's the getting rid of stuff that's really the key.

 

Crayfish

 

To the bolded: I do this and it works very well for us. Decluttering makes keeping up the house much easier. Less stuff means less cleaning in general.

[Piratelady2525]

Leaving a donation box out is a great idea!  I will definitely start that.  I think I could fill it pretty quickly! 

[bignerpie]

I'm working on this myself. We're adding a new baby to a rather small house, and I felt like we had no space for a new person. I decided to get rid of everything that we either a) don't need, b) don't use, or c) don't love. The book Organized Simplicity helped me with a lot of this.

I started with my closets. I am terrible about taking the clutter from the rooms and shoving them in a closet. I figured if my closets were cleaned out first, I would be less likely to stash stuff there. I started with my cleaning closet, pulling out anything I don't want to use anymore, or anything that is unnecessary, like a Swiffer vacuum. I really don't need two vacuums! I moved to the linen/off-season clothes closet and got rid of anything that I know I'll never wear (which was a lot more than it should have been! I'm a stay-at-home mom now, so I pulled out any work clothes I still had. If I need them again, after having 2 kids, they're not going to fit anyway). From there, I cleaned out the master bedroom and my son's bedroom closets.

Once the closets were done, I started cleaning out any cabinet where things get stashed. This meant night stands, junk drawers, and even the kitchen cabinets. The kitchen was especially time-consuming. I matched food containers with lids and got rid of any strays. I pulled out a whole dish set that I never use. I found my awesome set of espresso cups that I completely forgot about and proudly put them out on display. I got rid of pots and pans I shouldn't have been cooking on anyway (non-stick cookware that was scratched. Not good!)

Now, my closets and cabinets were all clean. I had no where to hide stuff. Anything from this point either had a home, or needed to go.

I'm still in the middle of my project. I have been through the whole house once. I'm going to make a second sweep and get rid of anything that I was unsure about the first time, then do a good deep cleaning. We have a "spare room" that we started remodeling and haven't finished yet. All the stuff I took from the rest of the house got put there. What I have to do now is go through that and divide it into Throw Away, Give Away, and Sell. I'm pretty confident that nothing will make it back in the house because I'm thrilled at how neat everything looks now. No piles of junk, so sorting through drawers trying to find something. It has been a huge undertaking, especially with a toddler and being pregnant, but I am so glad I did it.

[MiniMum]

What Crayfish says!!

I've done a bunch of big clear-outs but with ADD and/or small babies, this is the approach that will work and not overwhelm. 

This is what I do as maintenance now. Doing one spot to perfection and then moving on is one method, but it might not suit your personality or situation. You could just as well pick here and there, and once you have a full box, take it away. This way your home doesn't get MORE messy while you are working on it, making you frustrated and overwhelmed and give up. And as box after box leaves your home you KNOW you are making progress, even if it takes a while to see the difference.

I also agree that getting stuff out of the house is the single most important thing in keeping organized. After getting to have  a minimalist household, it practically takes care of itself ;) Well, not quite, but everything is just so much easier and takes a lot less time to do, and our home is never more than five to ten minutes away from presentable!

I used to get overwhelmed and feel like nothing I did made a real difference, and let things spiral out of control. Only after we decided to pare down A LOT did it start feeling natural and easy to maintain order. 

But if you get rid of even just one thing each day it will add up, and take no time at all. Or you could make it a goal to fill a one box each week/ month to donate.