Nap = Up all night; No nap = Meltdown

[VocalMinority]

My littlest turned 3 in Feb.  Some days, there is no getting him to fall asleep during the day.  Then, by about 5pm his behavior takes a turn for the atrocious.  Within a few hours, he will fall asleep for the night (which is welcome, because one can hardly stand being around him, by then!)  Other days, he does nap and then he's still awake at 1am.  I'm writing this past midnight, so you can guess what type of day we had, today!

I realize this is a phase, at the end of which he won't nap anymore and (hopefully) his behavior won't be so bad in the evening.  But, yuck!  I would like to savor the last vestiges of his babyhood, but this phase is difficult to appreciate...

[elisheva]

I can empathize... I've gone through this phase with two of my boys - more successful the 2nd time around. I place myself firmly in the "no nap except on special occasions or when you really need one" camp. Bedtime was initially moved up to 6:00 for ds2 when it became clear that nap=up all night.  Like you said, meltdown-city. It took a few months but he has transitioned and mostly goes to bed at 7:30 now. I also have found he can nap for 20 min or so in the car and it doesn't affect bedtime. He still sleeps about 13 hrs if he has peace and quiet... Good luck!

[KempsMama]

I go through this with DS1 also.  I only give naps when it's he's tired and not functioning well, and then only before 1:00 p.m. and they can be no longer than 2 hours.  If he sleeps at all past 3 p.m. he will not go to bed at a reasonable time. 

[J1379]

I feel your pain Momma because I am right there with you!  My DS will be 3 in May and we are in the same boat.  If he naps, he is up late and bedtime is a long and drawn out process which involves DH or I lying in bed with him for ages.  If he doesn't nap then he is asleep nice and early and bedtime routine is a snap...but if you are around my house at about 4 or 5pm...yikes-lots of meltdowns and crying no matter what we/I do.  I am really wavering on whether to kindof "force" him into not napping anymore - but am on the fence because it seems (by his behaviour) that he really needs that nap in the day.  The only thing I have found to help is going outside to play or for a walk at 4pm since that is his tired time.  If we sort of get through that tired spell then I find that makes the rest of the evening much easier.  That being said - the weather has been awful where we are lately so that hasn't been happening...but hopefully in the coming weeks it will start to warm up so we can do this more. 

So no real help here...just letting you know you aren't alone! :)

[Gretchen_PDX]

My son does this sometimes too... although he quite a bit younger! When we are having a no-nap or very short nap day, I let him have some zone out time. This usually means an extended amount of time snuggling and reading or even watching a little of the evil TV. We watch an episode of Sid the Science kid and talk about what is happening so it's not like he is being babysat by the TV- this just really allows him to chill out in a way that is hard to replicate- but I totally realize and respect that for many on here no TV watching is the only way. I feel like the down time helps with the melt downs later in the day.

[HuntressMother]

Ahh- i know what youre going through. My DS is a few months over 2 and has been in this " i AM NOT napping!" phase for over a month. He also becomes very hard to handle after about 5pm. He wakes up very early most days, so by 1-2:00pm he NEEDS a nap. Normally when i lay him down, he will stay in his bed, jumping, singing and yelling. He also likes to remove every inch of sheets fro him bed and through them on the floor. No matter what i do, he will not nap. Ive tried everything- but after awhile, we just gave up.

Now that only time that i attempt to have him nap is on Fridays, which is when we go shopping when DH gets home from work. Before his nap, i try to really burn him out. If the weather is nice, i take him outside and was the car or something while he runs around and plays. Then we will have snack time ( 'sleppy foods' like bananas, oatmeal, pb sandwich) and then if im REALLY desperate, ill give him a quick lavender bath and put on his warm, cozy footy PJs ( if he is wearing pants, he will take them off and pee in the bed) and tuck him in for atleast an hour or 2.

DDs bedtime ( shes 5) is at 8:30 and DSs bedtime is at 8:00. If he didnt take a nap that day ( which is pretty much everyday) we will lay him down at 7:30 if is behaviour is still rough. The good news is, when DS doesnt nap, he likes to sleep a little later in the mornings, so that gives me time to shower and eat breakfast in peace and quite when DD has caught her bus.

Its those little moments that count.. 

Hang in there and know im hangin right there with ya!