Originally Posted by numbersbyjasmin
My point of view is not better than yours, and yours is not better than mine, and that was part of the point. I felt you were attacking people for feeling different than you do about UC and for potentially choosing a different birth experience. I never said my choices were better, only for me it works, and I said that. I came to this forum to learn about different experiences, techniques and opinions. My issue with your arguing was that it appeared that instead of just backing up your thoughts and views you were judging other people for being so "ignorant" to accept the "man's" form of giving birth due to "the man's medical worries". Well, I think you've pretty much got it. Not so much the judgy part, but the part of my philosophy on birth. I feel we all were going according to THE MAN'S birth. Before you immediately discount me, I would ask you-- what makes you think that's not true? Obviously something led me to believe in this, after having a much more conventional and mainstream opinion myself of birth previously. Then I "awakened". What do you expect me to say or to feel? If you were me and you felt your eyes had been opened to the truth, would you keep silent about it, and in a forum relating specifically to your topic of all places???? And that is all. I think it is great, and amazing, that anyone would want to have an unassisted childbirth. I was looking into it as a viable option, or at least to hear about what the back-up plans are, what concerns there are, and success stories. My issue never was UC. I was only upset with your angry words about those ignorant people (like me) who would choose to have a midwife. Okay, so your issue is that you took it personally. Let me for the record say that when speaking to you I would never call you ignorant. That word itself is offensive to people and my goal would not be to strike out at or hurt you. What I would say however, on my own personal belief, is that you are perhaps misled. This isn't because you are stupid. I was misled too. We all were. There is a problem with the system, it is broken, it does not serve us. This is not about me versus you. This is about the way we were all conditioned to view birth in our society, and THAT is what is ignorant and wrong.
Yes, I didn't add anything of use to the board, and I'm sorry. It's just that instead of informing people of why it is so fabulous to just trust your own instincts and how little generally goes wrong and what makes UC amazing and possible, it only sounded like you should have UC because all doctors/midwives are medical nazis who don't care about you or your birth. A lot of us here are saying things that sound that way. We are not generalizing that all of them suck, but we are saying that they don't know what's best for you and that you can do better. If we sound bitter or hurt, please take into account that we are speaking from our own personal experiences. We are entitled to feel how we feel. A lot of us are healing from the past pain we've dealt with, so don't deny us our hurt feelings. And, while I do agree that medical intervention is too frequent and likely unnecessary and so on and so forth and I'm not for doctors/hospitals either, I was genuinly surprised to see midwives lumped together with the general medical population. HAHAHAHAHAHA. Ah, then you have much to discover, grasshopper. I suppose I took it a little personally, being that I adore my midwives and trust in them to let my birth experience unfold as it will. Precisely. And good for you/lucky you. (Silly me) It is not because of medical intervention possibility that I feel more comfortable, it is because of the support system. I don't believe in needing a support system during birth. I believe that I need only rely on myself. I don't need reassurances from others and it would be my hope that you could feel comfortable without that, too. If you really think it helps or you need that, I can't stop you. Go for it. I think it brings both my husband and myself comfort in knowing that someone knows what to do and when and that everything is A-OK, or if it were not. Of course it does! It's about comfort. It's about ability. I guess I just don't trust in myself well enough to be home without anyone assisting. That seems to be the case. And, well, maybe that's a little sad, but I'm OK with it. Are you really? Because I don't think you are. I think that's why you are here, saying what you are saying to me right now. I think if you probe a little deeper, you'll discover that you are not feeling so at peace with this. I think it is fascinating that there is such a large community of people who feel able and willing to give birth without anyone other than their partner or various family members present. Amazing. Part of me agrees with you, but this is what is so sad with our society... that this has become such a foreign concept that we really do find it amazing, and that sometimes UCers are heralded as heroes or pillars of strength and femininity. What a sad state of things, that humanity has come to this! We totally bought into the past 200 years of medicalized birth.
And yes, my thoughts on the subject don't matter. Although, if you haven't noticed, I am not against UC, only I don't see it as something I would come to terms with for my own birth. One day you will. :) Although, a lot can happen in 8 months, so who knows? Perhaps with more information... *nods* It's already within you. You already know.
ALSO NOTE: I know it came off wrong when I said "I could care less what any of you choose to do" I didn't mean it as it sounds, I was stupidly trying to say literally it doesn't bother me that you choose UC or that I don't. It came off completely wrong, and yes, I was just angry ranting. Again, sorry. I, stupidly, didn't even re-read it before sending. My apologies, I usually don't do that-- I'm going to remove my post. I can admit when I am wrong and was being an idiot.