can i join? i'm betsy, and my dd is haven. she is 9 months old.
it is so relieving to see this thread and know there are others in the same boat! i have been feeling like i'm just doing something wrong, because other people's babies seem so much easier. but i guess it's just her personality. i love haven, and i love being a mommy, but she is so exhausting.
she will only nap if i hold her the entire time (i've tried every swaddle, swing, etc). she nurses every 2 hours round the clock. she will only play in her crib long enough for me to take a quick shower, and then that's it for the day. all other times if i'm not within touching distance she cries. my house is a wreck because i can't get any time unattached to her to do housework. i've tried wearing her while i clean, but she struggles and cries and at 20lbs she's beyond the point where i can clean in spite of the fit throwing. the grocery store is an ordeal. there were a few weeks where she'd ride in the cart, but the novelty has worn off and i have to carry her in the sling while i shop. i can barely cook dinner...and even then i end up eating sandwiches a lot of nights. we have to change rooms and activities about every 20 minutes all day long or she gets cranky. it's a little better on days when we can get out of the house to the park or to run an errand, but still just as tiring for me. she fusses when i change her, or put clothes on her. she fusses when i get a phone call, even if i keep her in my lap and smile at her while i'm on the phone. all she wants to do is dive for the phone and try to eat it...that seems to be her way of interacting with everything. it all goes in the mouth, and i am constantly fishing stuff out of her mouth or even having to pat her back to get something out of her throat...grass, paper, the tv remote, clothing, anything she can reach goes strait to the mouth. she just wears me out. oh, and she is teething.
i see other moms who have clean (i'm not talking spotless, just able to be seen by company without grossing them out) houses, and who cook every night and are able to put on makeup in the mornings, and i am in awe and filled with jealousy. i'm currently a single parent because my husband is in the military and deployed overseas.
i am glad of the parenting choices i have made, to co-sleep and breastfeed and follow her lead on how much contact she needs, but it is really hard sometimes. my in-laws are convinced, and like to tell me, that she is so high needs because of the attachment parenting. my own family is supportive of my parenting, but none of them ever had really high needs babies so they don't really understand why "wear her in the sling while you clean" is not helpful. sometimes i fantasize about letting her CIO and getting a full night of sleep and having a clean house, but then i feel so horrible and guilty for even fantasizing about it. i end up feeling like i'm failing as a mom because i can't get the very basics accomplished. i hate a dirty house, especially since it restricts safe play space. i miss cooking real food and creative recipes rather than throwing something together one-handed while i hold dd.
as long as she has body contact with me 100% of the time, she is a very sweet and happy baby. she almost never cries in public, as long as i hold her constantly, and is consistently ahead of schedule with milestones. but by the time she goes to bed at night i feel like a popped balloon. so yeah, it's nice to know that it's not my fault and that other moms and babies are in the same place.