Spring Spirited Babies Group - Page 2

[P.J.]

Hi ladies, I'm back! Welcome to the new mamas, I'm so happy you're here!

I've added the new folks to the list on the first post...if I've got any info wrong please just let me know and I'll correct it. Also, I only add new posters who give me info to add. Anyone is welcome to post, and if you want to be added to that list please include the info and I will add you.

I would like to make a detailed response to the recent posts, but alas I don't have the time. Max is sleeping and he usually only naps for 30 minutes so I have to go soon and start dinner. Suffice it to say I relate to so so much of what you all have shared! And the only specific response is about the cleaning lady: YES and YES!!!! Having a cleaning lady come here once a week is a very essential component to my sanity since Max was born. Our house is still a wreck, but that's only because of our pack-ratishness. I am on a major decluttering mission and slowly I am chipping away at getting rid of old crap and making more space. But at least with the cleaning lady, I know that once a week the floors get mopped and everything gets a good thorough wipe-down. I try to clean as I go throughout the week, but I cannot do the thorough, focused job a cleaning person can. So I say: if you can afford it, do it! You won't regret it!!!

Max has taken developmental leaps and bounds lately. He is morphing into a toddler before my eyes. Can't walk yet, but he is so much more communicative and interactive than ever before! He is also very social and seems to always be interested in other kids.

Part of this developmental leap is that he is now into EVERYTHING. We have to totally re-babyproof our house (not easy amongst all the clutter, lol!). Also, going to the supermarket is harder than ever as he insists on grabbing everything, and screaming when I take something out of his hand. I always try to find something to give him, but when he gets bored of it he throws it and fusses again.

I so want to chat more with you mamas, but I must go try to get something done before he wakes up again! He's being pretty needy today and I don't think I'll get anything done once he's up.

[1stTimeMama4-4-10]

My DD is also high needs - has been since birth.  We struggled really hard with it for the first few months and finally settled into our roles as parents of a high needs child.  Yesterday she had her first fever and it was sooooo sad to see because I got a glimpse of what a "normal" baby might be like.  DD cuddled calmly with me all night long. She nursed and cuddled and that was it.  She didn't fight me when I took her clothes off, changed her diaper, put her in the bath, took a rectal temp., dressed her, and hung out watching TV.  Normally every one of these things would have been a drawn out struggle and yesterday she just wanted to cuddle and not move.  It was heartbreaking because it just ISN'T HER.  She is incredibly active and very frequently needs us to be doing things with her (as opposed to passively watching). She never cuddles, but wants to be picked up all the time (then put down within seconds).  Anything that remotely resembles restraint is met with a full fledged battle.  She is a fiercely independent little soul and I could not be more proud.  I take some credit because I think part of her ability to be so independent is that she knows we are always here for her and she feels safe to be on her own (as in plays by herself in the same room). Last night just broke my heart.  She's all better today though!  All that is to say that as hard as it was for us to adjust to her needs, now that it is our "normal" I wouldn't want it any other way.

[Calliope84]

Avalon learned to crawl! She is 5 months 1 week now.  She is so much happier now that she can move more. She still qualifies as "high needs" but we are getting better at understanding what she needs and now she can communicate better, too. She grabs onto me if she is done playing on the floor and will grab my shirt and try to get in if she wants milk.  I say "Do you want milk" at other times and she makes this very distinct sound in response when she does want it.

Two times now we have been out for 6-9 hours. Two weeks ago we were at a car dealership all day and then last weekend we did a trip out to the farm. Both times we got compliments on what a good baby she is!  And people are right. She is a good baby. At the dealership and farm we obviously kept her in arms all day long, which she loves (but not wearing her all the time, because she doesn't always want to be worn.) I fed her when she was hungry and tried to help her nap when she was tired. I removed her from the group and went somewhere quiet if I thought she needed it. The only problem I run into at home is usually that I can't always hold her - like when I need to go to the bathroom or cook something hot. I actually planted an 8 x 8 garden this week and she has consistently been playing for 30-40 minutes all by herself with her toys and moving around the floor. She spent a long time in her activity center thingy I have for her that I brought outside and when she got bored I put her in a pouch and continued to plant onions with her hanging out watching me from her pouch. She still gets nervous around strangers, but if I am holding her and they talk to her she doesn't cry right away. I left her alone in the stroller last night and some neighbors tried to talk to her and she cried until I came over to her and calmed her. 

She actually slept in next to DH the other morning for an hour and I got some alone time, too. I enjoy how bright and intense she is... she is learning so much and it is so fun to watch! So, for the moment I feel really good about everything and I know it could get hard again during different stages but right now things are good. ;)

The other thing I did was give up computers, video games and TV for about 6 days.... I discovered I actually have way more time to get things done than I thought I did. That is how I managed to get a garden planted! So... I need to set up limits for myself, like computer only 3x a week or something because then I can get other stuff done and not feel overwhelmed.

[Zenmama1]

Is this group still going? This is the last thread I have found.

[Calliope84]

Originally Posted by Bocamom 

Is this group still going? This is the last thread I have found.

Yeah, I was wondering, too. I have a spirited toddler now, but she has gotten waaaaaay better now that she walks.

[Zenmama1]

It looks like it's just you and me ... We can start our own group lol
Maybe all these moms are too busy chasing after their spirited babies to keep this group going. I can totally relate to that. My DD is latched on right now... What did moms ever do without an iPhone. So you said your DD is a toddler now and things are better. That's good to know, cause my DD is 8 mo and I'm wondering when it gets easier. We are also struggling with food allergies so that adds more stress.

But I think what bothers me most right now is that I feel very isolated. I have met a bunch of new moms, but have a hard time because their babies are easy. So they don't get it when I have to leave because I can't just put her down for a nap at their house, or let her nap in the car. Or that if we miss a nap the rest of my day will be miserable because my LO will be miserable. And i feel too embarrassed to tell them i have to lay down next to her when she naps. They also don't get that I have to nurse her in a quiet place because if there is any distraction it leads to milk all over the place and I feel sore from the head turning while she is latched. Ouch!

I wish I could form a HN playgroup but the moms would probably find it difficult to get together.

What about you... How did you survive the early years?

My husband thinks we have spoiled her with our AP style and that is the reason she is HN Do you think there is any truth to that?
Edited by Zenmama1 - 9/27/11 at 2:16pm

[lilikoi]

I will join in! My DD is almost 9 months. I am actually laying next to her right now so she can nap a little longer. I have to say, the hardest thing for me is having family members with easy babies. They all think DD is spirited because of something I did. I used to feel horrible. She wakes up every hour all night long and has been doing since she was 5 months old. ILs used to tell me to just put her down while she was sleepy but still awake and not nurse her to sleep. Yeah right. It takes a lot of nursing, singing, shushing, rocking for her to go down. She always screamed really loud and wanted to nurse constantly. DH still thinks she is the way because of breast feeding. It drives me crazy. She is a lot of work, but I just love how alert and interested in everything she is. My mother said I was the same way as a baby, so there you have it. :)

[Zenmama1]

Originally Posted by lilikoi 

I will join in! My DD is almost 9 months. I am actually laying next to her right now so she can nap a little longer. I have to say, the hardest thing for me is having family members with easy babies. They all think DD is spirited because of something I did. I used to feel horrible.

Ok, its good to know I am not the only one who lays down with their baby to nap - if I do this she naps for 2 hours at a time and sleeps through the night except for a few brief nursings. But if I dont lay next to her I get 30 minutes tops. So I'd rather get the 2 hours. I do get the comments from family members like "you need to get her used to noise" or "you need to get her used to sleeping in different places." what they dont understand is that its just her personality. I am a light sleeper too, so I guess she gets it from me. And I cant blame her for wanting a warm body next to her when she sleeps. I mean who wouldnt want that, right?