Thoughts on skipping grades for a child who is perfectly happy where she is

[USAmma]

I wanted to get your opinion on something after my 4th grade dd's last parent-teacher conference. We have her in a good charter school that I am totally happy with, and more importantly she's happy. She has friends, a good relationship with the teachers, and it's small enough that there is very little problem with bullying and that sort of thing.

Her last test scores shows she is testing at 8th grade 3rd month in math, and 8th grade 1st month in language arts. She has always been a grade or two above her age, but she seems to be getting higher and higher as she gets older. Her teacher suggested we think about her skipping 5th grade next year and going right to 6th grade, and take classes with the junior high kids for part of the day. The school goes through 8th grade and like I said it has a nice atmosphere, not the usual horrible junior high experience. If she were to go beyond the 8th grade level the school arranges for kids like her to take classes at a high ranked Catholic High School which is right down the street (and very expensive-- but the school would cover it).

Although I'm thrilled that she's doing so well in school, my gut instinct is to leave her where she is. Socially she's not advanced-- she is probably right on track, maybe even a bit less sophisticated than some of the girls who are into pop culture and starting to have "crushes". My dd is still playing with her Littlest Pet Shop toys and is perfectly happy with her one best friend who is in the same class. Her current teacher agreed with my view that socially and emotionally she's mature in some areas (such as being concerned with social issues like the environment and solar power) and borderline behind in other areas.

I feel like she has this gift of being able to grasp things easily when so many struggle in school, and so far she's perfectly happy to be the early finisher so she can read to herself while the rest of the class does their work. She is also using her spare time to write and illustrate a book (and it's quite good if I say so myself). Dh works with her at home and gives her some math challenge problems taken from real life and she enjoys that. She spends a lot of time playing, enjoys making movies with her cheap digital camera and using the movie maker on the computer, having her best friend over after school every day, and playing with neighbor kids. No complaints of being bored.

But I wonder if I'm denying her the chance to blossom more-- or am I just signing her up for social isolation and greater academic pressure and more homework?

There is always the option of the gifted program at the local school, but they are in one classroom separate from the school all day long, and of course it's a public school with all those issues, and she would have to make new friends. So for now that's not something we are even considering.

So what helped you make your decision to move your child up in grade level vs. keeping her with her same aged peers? How do you handle her friendship needs and other social issues, esp. seeing the other girls go through physical development and probably starting to think about boy things more than she is? I just remember befriending a girl in my high school and she was only 12 and was a 10th grader. She was super sweet and we ate lunch together, but I just felt she was a bit lost. 

[Linda on the move]

I wouldn't switch a child who is happy. Happy is really important, and if you take it away from her, you'll regret it forever.

May be for one or two subjects she could go up, but I'd leave her with her friends for most of the day.

[whatsnextmom]

I wouldn't skip her if she's happy. It sounds like she's engaged, is connecting with her classmates, has a good relationship with her teachers and is using her extra time to make challenge in ways meaningful to herself. If you think she really needs a little more stretch, you might consider having her try a subject acceleration in one of her high areas first. It could be that turns out to be her favorite class and she wants to try moving up full time. It could be she's perfectly happy with the arrangement and doesn't want to change a thing. Or, she could hate it. At least you'd know.

It could be some sort of acceleration is in the future but it doesn't need to be now. She could graduate high school early without skipping at all. If it seemed appropriate, she could skip 8th and move straight to the high school campus. There are options should you decide to hold off.

I wouldn't read too much into her tests. They are often misleading. Usually those tests are not out-of-level. They test children in their grade level material and then compare them to how an older child might do on the same test. She did as well as an 8th grader taking a 3rd or 4th grade test. This means she is advanced and certainly mastering the material but it doesn't neccessarily mean she has would do as well on an actual 8th grade achievement test. Basically, I'm just saying not to use these scores in your decision to grade skip unless they truely are out-of-level assessments.

Personally, I'm a fan of skipping in the right situations. My eldest skipped a grade and it was the best thing we could have done for her. However, she was falling apart in her real grade. We know many others in person who have had positive skips but again, there were problems that gave reason for the skip.

[qandrews]

On one hand, you really want to leave her in the class where she is happy. On the other hand, you are running the risk of her getting far ahead, which might create a situation of boredom in the classroom. And you do want her to achieve her highest potential, right?

So here are some additional options that you can consider:

1.  Leaving her in her current classroom, but letting her go to a local Junior college or Community College for specific classes that are interesting to her. I don't know where you're located, by in our area Junior Colleges are equiped and ready to accept youngsters, as long as they have a signature from their teacher. You can always take her to a class or two and see if she likes it.

2.  Work with her yourself or have private tutors work with her at home after school on subjects that seem to interest her, on her performance level. This is a way to keep her challenged.

3.  Talk with the teacher, and see if she is ready to give her some additional assignments to keep her challanged. I am not talking about giving her additional busy work to keep her occupied. I am talking about adding some interesting and enriching activities or additional information that is more to her level of performance.

4.  Check out EPGY program at Stanford. I have to warm you, it is not cheap but it is worth every penny. They have math and writing, computers and a lot more. The program adjusts and lets your child advance at her own pace. Stanford also has contacts with a variety of colleges and the grades are accepted by many schools and colleges.

5.  Find an after school program for gifted children. Again, I don't know where you are located, but here in California there are a few groups that provide interesting seminars to gifted children, and even let parents be active.

6.  If you haven't found any specific program for gifted children, you can start one. The "Lyceum" program in Cupertino has started (in the late 70's or early 80's, I think) with a group of parents who wanted to add enrichment to their children's education. They have agreed each to provide a seminar, either they have delivered it or they have arranged for someone else to deliver it. It was so successful that it grew by leaps and bounds and ended up being a huge program with hundreds of children. They offered a variety of seminars from numinsmatics to biology, from chemistry to physics and everything in between. Nowadays, with the new technology, internet, facebook and the like, it will be easier for you to organize a groups of parents like that.

Hope this gives you a few additional options to consider.

All the best,

Esther Andrews

http://www.all-gifted-children.com

[LynnS6]

One resource that might be helpful for you is the Iowa Acceleration Scale -- it's supposed to be filled out by a team. It looks at everything from a child's social/emotional maturity to their academics, and their age. I looked at the manual last year when considering entering dd straight into 1st grade without K. For her, at that time, the manual gave me enough info to be comfortable saying that a grade skip would not be in her best interests. It might be later, but like your dd, our dd is not socially sophisticated. She's also got a later birthday and is already one of the youngest kids in her class (late May birthday). But then academically, she's reading at a 4th-5th grade + level and doing math at a 3rd grade + level (phenomenal problem solving ability, so-so computational fluency). Ugh... it's much easier with ds who's very happy where he is, "bright" but not so far ahead that he doesn't have a few peers.

[Kushali]

If she's happy I'd leave her be.  The school sounds very accommodating so if she's not happy in a couple years you can have this conversation again.  I think the idea of subject acceleration in her strongest subject is a great one.  Your daughter is old enough you could also ask her opinion on the subject to see what she wants.  

[A&A]

I wouldn't skip a child who is happy where she is.  I would only (and did only) skip a child who's unhappy with the current situation.

[ameliabedelia]

I agree with keeping her where she is if she is happy.   I also agree on not putting too much stock in those tests.   Just because she scored as well as an 8th grader, doesn't mean she's ready for 8th grade work.   It sounds like she is quite good at keeping herself occupied and finding challenging things to do

[meemee]

usamom i remember your history with trying to find the right school for you dd and all that you guys had to go through. 

with that ANd with the socially not ready i would hold off on the grade skip. you guys are doing enrichment at home. she is writing and illustrating a book. 

i would not rock the boat. 

[USAmma]

Thanks so much for all your input! My instincts told me to leave her where she is but I wanted to get your spin on it and see if I might be missing something. Thanks for your support! :-)

[Smurfette2]

I was accelerated as a child. I skipped 2nd grade. Worst decision ever. I missed all my peers. Children in the next grade were 2-3 years older than I was so when girls hit puberty and were gabbing about boys, I was still playing with my Barbies. I was allowed to sit out my 5th grade in a "science program" and went back to my regular grade for 6th. My own daughter faced the same dilemma. With all of the budget cuts, classroom sizes shrank as people lost their homes and moved from the neighborhood. In order to keep their jobs, many teachers taught combo classes. My daughter was a 2nd grader placed in a combo 2/3. I was not happy. The school felt she was an independent learner and would adapt. I knew better. She was in that class all of one month before I pulled her out. My daughter said the teacher taught more 3rd grade material and often expected the 2nd graders to just follow along. It didn't happen that way. I know kids that stayed in that class and did fine. But for my kid, I preferred for her to be with other kids her age. 

My daughter is now a 9th grader - she's been GATE since 4th grade. In the HS the classes are honors and definitely challenging which she loves. I don't care anymore about the GATE label. I just

wanted her to do her best. BTW, I put her in private school for kinder and she's in private school now. I felt like she needed a competitive edge in order to get into college.

Go with your instinct.

[lucysmom]

For context, I skipped kindergarten & then was radically accelerated when I was 12, in 7th grade, when I entered college.

Before early entrance into college, I was also "happy where I was."  I was a conformist kid who did not rock the boat and was not falling apart due to boredom.   I handled boredom well :)  Also, my junior high principal was great about allowing me to have math placements that were unheard of for my grade level, and responded well to my parents' advocacy.  It was not a bad situation.  And I certainly was happy.

But when I was asked whether I wanted to stay where I "happily" was, or move on to college, I chose college, really without any hesitation.  When I had that option, I wanted to push myself & could not see saying no to the chance to try something that really challenged me.  (And for whatever it's worth, I have never had one second of regret about it.  I think it gave me a confidence about my achievement and a willingness to take professional/academic risks that would have been hard to come by otherwise.)

So -- just a vote for this: ask her.  If she wants to skip, skip.  If she says no, don't skip.  In this particular situation, I think the student's own will is pretty important in the equation.

Lisa

[ChristaN]

As a prior poster mentioned, I wouldn't read too much into the grade levels if it was a 4th grade test like the ITBS, SAT10, etc.  If it was MAPS and her score came out around the 50th percentile for an 8th grader, I would read more into it b/c that one functions independent of grade level.  When my dd12 was in 4th grade and the middle school was suggesting bringing her there a year early, we had her take the EXPLORE (an 8th grade achievement test).  She scored above avg for an 8th grader for the composite and somewhere around the 90th percentile in her strong areas. 

eta: She wasn't above avg for an 8th grader in math on the EXPLORE in 4th and I don't know that it's necessary to be seriously ahead in all subjects to consider a skip.  She was still far enough ahead in math that we didn't put her in over her head to skip her but I wouldn't accelerate any more in math for her beyond what she's done.

It is too late in the year to do a talent search test like EXPLORE but maybe the school would be willing to give her whatever test they gave her previously but at a higher level (the 5th or 6th grade equivalent).  Either way, you might want to consider subject accelerating in her stronger areas if the school would be open to that.  My oldest did that when she was at a charter school and it worked quite well for that year.