It has taken me over a week to get enough courage (or to come to terms) with writing this post...and after Sunday, even more so. Although I didn't post too many times, I leaned on this thread for support through my few short weeks of carrying the life of my third baby.
I started spotting Sunday before last and found out the next day through ultrasound that the baby and sac had stopped developing at 5-7 weeks... I should have been 11 weeks along in my pregnancy. I wanted to allow my body to release the remains in it's own time- at home- and after a lot of soul searching during the week, Sunday morning I was able to say goodbye. Unfortunately, Sunday evening I started bleeding heavily and passing huge clots and couldn't stop. After beginning to pass out, I ended up being transferred to the hospital via ambulance for an emergency D&C to remove a little remaining tissue and for a blood transfusion due to hemorrage. They put 3 units of blood into me (debating a 4th) and 4-5 bags of IV saline fluids. To say that I almost lost my life is not a stretch of the imagination.
So, as I sort through all of these emotions and tramatic events, I am moved by how supportive my friends and family have been... bringing food, taking my boys for a few hours so I can rest, and sending cards/flowers/emails/phone calls. It is a shame sometimes that it takes a tragedy or near tragedy to realize how much love you really do have surrounding you.
Much love to you, Mamas. Thank you for being there for me and wish you beautiful, healthy, happy births!