Just quit my job literally 3 hours ago. SAHM job starts Monday. HELP!!!!

[Headmeister]

I've been trying for months to figure out how we could financially afford to have me stay home with the kids instead of putting them into daycare, and the numbers just weren't working out. Fast forward to today where, even though the numbers aren't there 100% yet, due to added job requirements that makes me put my job first and my kids last, I quit. They'll be home with me starting Monday and now I'm terrified that I don't know what to spend my day doing with them. I know I'm probably being overly dramatic being that this is all fresh right now, but seriously, I have two girls, 2.5 and 8 months, and I don't know what my daily schedule should look like or what I should be trying to accomplish in the house, projects for the big one, housework, etc.

Anyone have any good resources for a new SAHM or want to share with me what their daily routine is? (PS, I BF my 8 month old and she does 2 mini meals of solids a day... if that factors into the schedule)

PPPLLLEEEAAASSSEEE  HHHEEELLLPPP!!!!!

[jessica_s]

Well I'm kinda new at being a SAHM and I do work freelance sometimes but it still kinda feels like a really long vacation. I do most of the housework now (we used to split) and I also do most of the cooking (my DH used to do dinner). I just try to keep the place running and clean (its a lot more cleaning though since were here and making a mess all day lol). I just go about my day with my kids. We do preschool, projects, errands, that sort of stuff. I do volunteer work and like I mentioned I freelance some as well. I keep pretty busy but enjoy spending most of the day in yoga pants :)

[weliveintheforest]

Do whatever you normally do on weekends?  

Give yourself some time to get into the swing of being home.  It will probably take a couple weeks to get used to not going to work.  Maybe plan one activity a day (walk to the park, go to the library, make playdough) and then let the rest of the day just happen.  Between making and cleaning up after meals, getting kids dressed, and doing naps, you might find your day goes fairly quickly.

[MegEliz]

I have been a stay at home since my daughters birth - so a lil over 4 years - My DS came along when she was 15 months old. Obvioulsy our routine has changed quite a bit over the years but we are always busy - walks , art projects, library ( we go three times a week ) play time, NAP TIME, play ground , nursery school and play group - I try to have one outing a day just to get out of the house. I have certain cleaning duties i do on certain days but i try really hard not to be a slave to the housework or else i would never leave my house... lol.. i do a load of laundry every day tho first thing in the morning so i am not stuck with massive laundry at the end of the week. I will be honest it isn't all roses and butterflies but it is the BEST job i have ever had :) ENJOY!

[Perdita_in_Ontario]

Congratulations! I left my job when my mat leave with DS was finished because of similar circumstances.

You'll find the days go very fast most days (except when there are tantrums involved!). My older DD is older than yours and is in Kindergarten in the mornings, so we tend to either run errands in the morning when she's at school or I stay home with DS and try to shower / clean up a little (hah!) / bathe him and then when DD comes home we have lunch, she has quiet time while I try to get DS to nap, then snack and I try to start dinner early.

My one big learning is to start making dinner as early as possible, because if you start too late, everyone's cranky, the baby's crying, you start sweating, and DP comes in the door when you're at your most harried. Not a good scene. Make ahead!

One of the big things is that you are NOT going to feel like you've accomplished much at first. At work, you have lots of little tasks you can check off, and feel like you've got somewhere. Looking after children, it doesn't work quite that way, and you can feel like you've wasted the day. You need to look at it like a day-care provider - their job is to feed, care for, and interact with the children. Not accomplish a whole bunch of other stuff too. We pay them to do that - don't expect more of yourself, especially to start with.

Because your older DD will be home full-time and you will probably want to do some craft, it can be worth finding a blog etc that gives you some hints - makes it easier. This is one of my favourites: http://www.notimeforflashcards.com/. But don't feel you HAVE to do a craft etc every day. That is a lot of pressure! Walks, parks, playgroup if you can? Maybe plan out a day to do one special thing?

It has taken me quite a while to get into the swing of things, and some days it doesn't go so well, but it is getting easier, and I'm finding ways to get things done with a very active little guy underfoot (high chair and finger foods - yay!).

[MomtoDandJ]

Congratulations on making the big leap... after a few weeks you'll be into the swing of it and probably love it!

A few tips I learned when #2 came along last year...

Feed both kids at the same time. Either by giving the baby a spoon-fed meal while the older child feeds herself or by BFing at the table while your older child eats. If you try to feed them each individually, you'll feel like you're spending the whole day making food, feeding, or cleaning up.

Consider letting the baby take one nap in the stroller while you take a walk. The older child will probably love the outing (especially as the weather gets nicer) and the baby can still get a good nap in.

Make dinner early in the day! Someone else suggested this and it's great. All kids get fussy late in the day when they are tired of their toys and generally tired so it's a bad time to try to get a little quiet to cook. If you can't sync the kids' nap schedules, you could put the baby in a highchair with some toys and try to prep dinner while the older is sleeping.

Good luck!

[wandering]

Originally Posted by weliveintheforest 

Do whatever you normally do on weekends?  

Give yourself some time to get into the swing of being home.  It will probably take a couple weeks to get used to not going to work.  Maybe plan one activity a day (walk to the park, go to the library, make playdough) and then let the rest of the day just happen.  Between making and cleaning up after meals, getting kids dressed, and doing naps, you might find your day goes fairly quickly.

Yep.  You'll get the hang of it I'm sure and if not, post here again with what you need help with.  Congrats! 
 

[Chloe'sMama]

Look for some free or inexpensive things in your area and see what days they are on.  I just moved, so I had to set this all up again...

Library, parks, zoo, mall play areas.  

Congrats and I hope you love it as much as I do!!!

[Headmeister]

Thank you all so much for the tips. I think the dinner thing is a great idea and yes, I've experienced the problem of starting it late before so it was a great reminder for me.

On weekends we're usually driving all over the place running errands and getting house work done, so I don't think that's a great idea to copy that schedule because now I'll be able to get that stuff done through the week and on weekends my husband will actually get to enjoy his down time a little more - and so will I.

Keep the ideas coming, I'm so appreciative of them!

[syn_ack89]

I joined a moms club. It helped me locate other SAHMs for playmates, socializing, etc. That REALLY helped me because before all my friends came from work. We stayed friends but they weren't available to hang out during the day. Moms club international, meet up.com, attachment parenting international groups, la leche league - lots of groups out there.

[syn_ack89]

Meet up.com - the meet and up were not supposed to have a space, but my iPad will NOT let me type it without one.

[megannt]

My only advice is spend as much time with your kiddos as possible and less time doing chores.  A wise woman once told me that I will have much of my life to have a clean home and such a short time with my little ones. Live up this time with your babies and make great memories.

[*bejeweled*]

I agree. I was just looking back over some photos of when DD and I were home together (she's now 8). There was so much joy in all of the activities,crafts and outings in the pics. I was thinking at the time that our home was messy, but it was just fine. What means the most are the beautiful times that you have together. Not an immaculate home.

Originally Posted by megannt 

My only advice is spend as much time with your kiddos as possible and less time doing chores.  A wise woman once told me that I will have much of my life to have a clean home and such a short time with my little ones. Live up this time with your babies and make great memories.

[texmati]

omg! I'm in almost the same situaiton-- tomorrow's my first day solo -- no nanny-- with the two kids.

I spent two hours planning with dh, with written routine, and just prepared all the food, and will be getting to bed in a few minutes! wishing us both luck!

[reezley]

Congratulations on making it happen!

Mine are 4 and 6 now, and it's definitely a juggling act with an 8 month old and a 2.5 year old.... but I can safely say you'll never be bored!

My only structure to the day at that point was getting out of the house each day for something, whether an errand/shopping or a fun kid outing, like playground, library, children's museum (we have a membership), etc.  And I'd time it so the baby can take a nap on the way home (whether in car or stroller) or get home before the nap.  Then for the afternoon, there's lunch, home projects, resting, playing, maybe a nap for the kid/s in there somewhere if you're lucky, and a sudden downturn at 5:00pm that means the older one must be fed quickly!  Somehow it always took me by surprise how he'd fall apart at 5.  After dinner there was (and is) often a "creative burst" where some quiet or creative activity or pretend game would grab them a good while, then we'd get into the bedtime routine.

Stuff to have around for the 2yo -  playdough and cutters and tools, crayons and paper (and/or magnadoodle), new books from the library on hand, different puzzles, little building toys - maybe a Mr. Potato Head, blocks, big legos, .  You probably already have this stuff, but during the day it's good to remember to bring something out to play with when moods are getting low....

And putting on some new or familiar music can do wonders too.

Have fun!

[pumpkin]

I would take a vacation week to start. Stay in your pjs til noon or all day, head to the park, go to a cafe for lunch, just have a leisurely time without an agenda.

The week after that you can start thinking about routines And activities.

[3xMama]

Originally Posted by pumpkin 

I would take a vacation week to start. Stay in your pjs til noon or all day, head to the park, go to a cafe for lunch, just have a leisurely time without an agenda.

The week after that you can start thinking about routines And activities.

 I really agree with this. Not only will you get to relax a little, you can use the time to get to know what kind of schedule your kids need. What time you need to plan a nap, when doing a little prep here and a little prep there for dinner works in, snack times etc. I found that DD and I just kind of fell into a schedule/routine when we didn't have any expectations. Then, once we were more used to staying home together, we added in scheduled activities like storytime at the library or play dates. Also, once we had our rhythm going, it was easier to plan errands around when she needed her downtime.

Also, pick up whenever you can. Do things like clean up a messy high chair right away so it only takes a few seconds, instead of waiting until the next meal time and spend five minutes scrubbing off the stuck on cheese. When you go from one room to another, grab that stack of book and put them away real fast or put move displaced toys from your room back into the living room. Its little things like that that help me keep my sanity. As long as I keep up on that, cleaning doesn't become overwhelming. Do I always manage to keep up with that? Heavens, no!

Be easy on yourself. A PP said it won't seem like you get much done and that's true. There are still days where it seems like I do nothing be clean, feed, clean, clean, feed, clean, feed, clean and nothing is done. It happens. You aren't perfect and that's a-ok!

Most of all, relax and go with the flow. Kids are unpredictable sometimes!! Routines change, nap times change, sick days come up, crabby tantrums-all-day-long happen. The ability to adjust and go with things without getting stressed out is a huge assest!

Oh, and remember to not get caught up in housework. The house will be there to clean for many many years. Our little ones are only so little for so long.

Good luck, mama! You'll do great!!

[HollyBearsMom]

Have you heard the term "de-schooling"? Well I did what you did in January and I am still "de-working".  I think it is really important to keep your expectations and ambitions low. You might need to completely let go of the scheduling and the rushing around.  As another poster said-stay in your jammies all day, snuggle and read.  

You need to also prepare yourself that this is not only a huge change for you but a huge change for your kids too. Your oldest may go with the flow and be fine.  But she might also react to the sudden change in schedule.  She might be cranky and irritable and not have the words to say she misses the routine, her friends and her caregivers. Depending on the kid a clean break might be good but others a short term transition might be in order.  It is important you let her say goodbye. 

And make sure you and husband are on the same page.  Have you guys talked about *his* expectations?  The biggest complaint I see on this board is "my H expect me to do EVERYTHING", "He expects the house clean, the laundry and shopping done, dinner on the table, that I do everything related to the house and kids because I don't "work"!!"

Good luck and have fun!! Best decision we ever made.

[Monkey Keeper]

A dear friend who went SAH before I did gave me a wonderful piece of advice:

GIVE IT A YEAR.

It's a big adjustment for you. It's a big adjustment for your kids. It's a big adjustment for your husband. Figuring it all out takes some time.

[Perdita_in_Ontario]

Oh, yeah, my DD is still having trouble adjusting to the fact that I'm staying home and she's not going back to daycare! I'm assuming that is a good sign that she was in a quality home daycare.