Sometimes I just feel like I can't do this anymore. My children are 4 1/2, 2 1/2 and 8 months. I've been a SAHM since DD1 was born. It's all I've ever wanted to do. For the past 6 months dd1 has been just so difficult. Yelling and screaming at me. She used to be such an easy going child...I just don't know what went wrong. I feel like I've tried everything in every book and nothing seems to help her get through this phase. My very gentle natured ds2 is now getting in to the yelling and hitting when he gets frustrated, naturally, since he sees his sister do it ALL THE TIME! I feel like they used to get along rather well and now someone constantly seems to be yelling or hitting or something. I feel at the end of my rope and therefore yell much more than I ever intended. I feel like a terrible mom sometimes. That I tried so hard and look where it got me...which makes me want to give up :(
My husband works 2nd shift, has been for 6 months which gives me great anxiety. Not sure why, but he worked 2nd a few years ago and it did then too. Something about him leaving at 12:30 and knowing I am on my own the rest of the day just makes me anxious. It makes it hard for us to do many activities. We stay home in the mornings to spend time with dad. Then I have someone napping from 11 am until 5 pm everyday! (Yet never a time when all 3 are napping at once!) So then I hardly feel like dragging them all 3 somewhere right at the dinner hour. Therefore we end up being home a lot. Probably too much. And it's still cold here so we are still stuck inside.
I'm sorry, this is just turning into a big pity party I feel. But I had to get it off my chest. I had to tell someone. I got so frustrated with the kids earlier today that I put on a movie and started looking for jobs :(
I do get adequate me time. I get to go to a yoga class by myself 2-3 times a week. I can't ask for more than that. I just don't know what to change but I feel like something has to change. I just can't keep going on like this.