Queer Conceptions: April 2011 - Keep the BFP's rollin' in! - Page 2

[LibraryLady]

Max~ THIS IS IT!!!  With your shots and your threadkeeper's luck, we'll be celebrating your babies by Easter, for sure xo

Indigo~ YIKES!  Your family's not having the luck right now. I'm sorry for your mom and glad she's where they can look after her.  And your poor SIL.  I hope they baby comes soon and as quickly and painlessly as possible.

NosReves~ Enjoy your wait.  It really is amazing how many symptoms we can come up with during the course of those 14 days!  I never realized how many twinges occurred  in my boobs until I really started monitoring. 

Desert~ I'm so sorry about your horse! That's a special bond and I'll bet you miss her a lot. What a beauty!!!  

2bmum~ I hope AF stays away!  Everything crossed that the cramps are implantation.  It happened to me!  Enjoy your weather xoox

CAnanny~ I have other Bay Area friends and they were remarking on the gorgeousness.  Enjoy! It's a lovely day here and I'm going to the Medieval Fair. Yay for Indian Tacos!!!

AFM~  Not much here, Indian Tacos is the highlight.  I'm alternately resting and doing housework, which isn't a bad way to pass the time.  Luck and love to all xoxox

[prettyisa]

Gracie—Eee! Can’t wait to hear back with the official good news!

Max—Yay for new thread! And some shots to go with it! Can you move me to waiting to O, please? Then to TWW, then to graduates, and then we can go over to Q&P together. Maybe the problem is that I just never explained my preferred progression through the board before…


Indigo—poor SIL! I’m sorry to hear about your mom, too. I think an April 1 birthday might be really nice, actually—lots of pranks, but it’s also the start of real spring!

Desert—your horse is so lovely. It must be hard to have to let her go. I’m not too worried about the Christian thing—mostly because I figure a guy who goes and donates his sperm doesn’t have much room to get super-bigoted (selling it for others to use isn’t the biblical expectation, you know?). But the truth is that you have the luxury of choosing for whatever ridiculous reasons you want—we ruled out the guy who quoted the Bhagavad-Gita because we didn’t think we’d want to hang out with a guy who talked like that. So if you have other options, I’d choose one who doesn’t talk about his religious life and not feel bad about making that choice.

Oh, Crystal. I’m so sorry.

Want2B—I’m sorry you’re feeling crampy—fingers still crossed for you, though! It’s not over until AF shows up, you know?

AFM—‘nother monitoring this morning—went fine. The lead follie is at 16, with the other two at 13.5 and 11, which she said is all looking good. I’m waiting to get my hormone results back and find out when they expect to do things next week and if they’ll want to use a trigger or not. Finally called my insurance company and got yelled at a bit for not calling them earlier (she’ll still do the preapproval, but they prefer it to actually be a PRE approval, and not something that happens concurrently). The cycle was such a surprise that I forgot to call them first. Planning to start POAS tomorrow morning and planning to insem around tuesday.

[kgulbransen]

Crystal: I am really sorry for your loss. You know I know how you feel, especially emotional. With an early loss, there is hopes that this will just be a slightly heavier than normal period. That is one saving grace to an early loss. PM me if you want.

Max: You are on your way! Congrats. Keeping my fingers crossed.

Desert: you pose an interesting question. I think there's a couple of angles to it. Are you feeling like "very Christian" could mean "fundamentalist?" To me, being "very Christian" can mean a lot of different things like providing service to human kind, respecting human kind, believing in a power greater than us. They are varying levels of Christianity and devotion to the faith so for me, I would need to explore it with the donor. It's obviously striking a nerve in you so I would have an open conversation about it. We are working with two known donors and I know if I had any questions about something they said, I'd have an open conversation about it. I would just ask them to please define what they mean by very Christian or to tell you more about where their faith fits into their life.

If they are willing to donate to a lesbian couple, there has to be a different angle to them. One worth exploring. But I will tell you from reading a couple of horror stories on other Queer TTC boards, if something about your KD doesn't sit right, walk away. Someone else will come along. Go with your gut. Just like meeting you spouse, you knew when you met her that it felt right. You need to get a very similar feeling from your KD. This is going to be the other half of you in direct relation to your child and it's important.

Krista

[Graceie]

Originally Posted by prettyisa 

Gracie—Eee! Can’t wait to hear back with the official good news!

Max—Yay for new thread! And some shots to go with it! Can you move me to waiting to O, please? Then to TWW, then to graduates, and then we can go over to Q&P together. Maybe the problem is that I just never explained my preferred progression through the board before…

 

    yes Im sure now the unvirse has it straight this will be your month ! and thank you Im Giddy but nerose sense I have yet to miss AF and the lines so faint blood test at 140 then that darn weekend Im going to buy a digtal test and try that tommrow !!!!
 

[KellySF]

Max:  Yay for a new thread!  Can you please move me to Waiting to O?  Will probably happen in about 2 weeks...

Crystal:  So sorry to hear your news; we're thinking of you.

Gracie:  Woohoo!  Keep us posted!

[indigoscot]

hoorah!  sil had the baby at 954am bst - and it's a BOY!  8lbs 3/4oz which is impressive for being 2 weeks early.  :)  mum and baby are doing great.  that makes 6 boys and 1 girl between my brother, my sister and i.  we are definitely boy-centric which of course made dp say again that we are likely to have another boy.  lol!  and we get to meet our new nephew in just over a WEEK!  so excited. :)

my mum is doing better today.  dad said they think she was sent home too soon after her bout of pneumonia in February so she will be kept in for at least a week this time.  thanks for all the good thoughts and wishes for mum and my sil.  we really appreciate it. :)

prettyisa - fabulous news!!  your follicles sound like they are right on track.  with a few more days to grow that 13.5mm could catch up and give you 2! 

crystal - i am so, so sorry for your loss.  sending you lots of healing light and energy.

afu, last dose of clomid today for dp.  she has another massage tonight and acupuncture tomorrow.  i was supposed to be busy all weekend due to being on-call but it got postponed!  yay!  now i can focus on starting to pack the cases and tidy up the house (not an easy feat with 2 boys and a dog).

g

[DesertSunsets]

Indigo, hooray for happy healthy babies and mommas! Glad to hear things are looking up!

Grace! Yay for pink lines! Looking forward to your positive digital and for dancing veggies!

Isa, congrats on good follies! Looking forward to your BFP too.

Krista, you pose good questions and excellent points. Unfortunately, we are using frozen sperm from a Willing to be Known donor with a sperm bank, so I can't ask him what kind of Christian he is. My problem isn't people who truly live Christian lives, it's with people who claim to be Christian, yet hate and or fear those who are different or those who live a different lifestyle from themselves. My boss is a strict Baptist who used to be a preacher, and he knows all about my wife and family and our plans to have children. He is incredibly supportive. He has told me that he does not agree with my lifestyle, but he respects my rights to live how I want and he firmly believes in treating all people with respect and kindness. If this is the type of Christian the donor is, that is great! But maybe he's not.

Ultimately, I cannot know what kind of person our donor truly is. But I can control whether or not we use a donor who labels himself as Christian.

As always, the question is, how much faith can we put in other people who we do not know? I want to have faith that any man who helped conceive a child would not hold it against the child that his mothers are gay, but I worry that's not true.

[carmen358]

Do you have a new family member today, indigo?!
 

Originally Posted by DesertSunsets 

I do have a question about donors, and maybe it will be an offensive question for some people, although that is certainly not my intention.  We've found several donors who we like very much, only to find out in the essay portions of their profiles, they consider themselves to be "very Christian".  I have no problems with Christians, as a rule, but I've noticed that a lot of people like to use Christianity and the Bible as the reasons for their hatred, bigotry, and homophobia.  My fear is that if we choose a "very Christian" donor, maybe he will reject and belittle our children when they one day try to contact him.  It is very important to us to use an ID release donor so our kids have the opportunity to know their biological father, and I'm just not sure if my fear is reasonable or if I'm making too much out of nothing.  Did anyone else have these concerns?  What are your thoughts?

We used/are using a KD so aren't in that position but I would imagine that would play into my decision on who to choose if that was the route I was going. That's a real unknown, isn't it? Someone might sound great "on paper" but who knows if they will be someone your kids want to have a relationship with or vice versa. It's a hard decision....if I was you I would choose who I think does sound like someone who would be a desirable person to have in my future child's life....and yes, "very christian" may mean homophobic but it may not. I have a "very christian" friend who has been married to a woman for almost 10 years :) Good luck!
 

Originally Posted by CrystalPerez 

MaxK, Can you move me to "Waiting to be ready"?

I went to the er yesterday and my beta was only 16, so low that my urine was negative. This was my first pregnancy so I'm not sure how long it will take to to be ready to try again. I would really like to try again soon but we'll see I have a dr appointment tomorrow.

I'm very sorry for your loss, Crystal Heal well.

Originally Posted by Graceie 

Ladies I have a line a real line this time ! I woke up at 3 am to use first morning urine and a line a line its very light but there no question ! I emailed the midwife and will call for a blood test in the am

Wow!!! Keep us updated!! Let's hope you are going to be one.busy.mama in about 9 months or so

Afm: I had some ewcm today on what is 5 or 6 dpo. I have wicked pms. Ergh. I didn't used to get it this bad! Cramps, etc. seem almost non existent but the pms leading up to af is monstrous lol I'm hoping af does not start on a Friday or my day 3 will be on a sunday again and I won't be able to do the bloodwork again. Rainy day today after a super warm and sunny day yesterday....

[maxK]

DesertSunsets- What a beautiful horse and how sad to find a new home! I understand your concerns about the donor and I think they are founded in reality. My thoughts are that I would be less inclined, like you, to go with them if they have strong religious beliefs.

Cananny- It has been really good weather here! Babydust to you two for this Saturday!

Crystal- I’m so sorry for your loss.

Want2bmumx2- You are lucky to have so much support and people around you that want to help out. It will sure come in handy when you need it! Keeping fingers crossed that you get a BFP.

Gracie- Congratulations! I can’t wait to hear more! Here is one veggie who is waiting in anticipation.

Library- Oh, a medieval fair sounds fun; are you wearing something fancy?

PrettyIsa- Good luck with this cycle, sounds like those follicles are doing great. I hope to be moving us both along at about the same rate then on over to the April Graduates!

AFM- CD3 and everything is great so far.

[qmama42]

I went to the RE this afternoon and all of my bloodwork came back fine .  Good numbers on everything so no hormonal stuff to worry about. We'll do an insemination on Sunday or Monday.  Two follies on the right (24 and 32mm) and one on the left (18mm). If I don't get a +OPK tomorrow, then I'll trigger and insem on Monday morning.

Graceie--A veggie for you!!! Give us an update when you know more!

Krista--Thanks a bunch! I got the package today.  We're so excited!

[Graceie]

another faint line had my blood  blood draw she will call me first thing monday am going out to buy the digital tonight

[kgulbransen]

Desert: Sorry, I misunderstood and thought he was fresh sperm. I still main that you need to go with your gut. If it doesn't sit right and you have other choices (i.e. another donor that is equally as appealing) then go in that direction.

No matter what the challenge in TTC, we have to weigh the benefits against the risk. If this donor is totally fabulous and is the right one for you guys, only you can decide if it's worth throwing all that away because there's a chance there will be some rejection of the child later in life. But what you lose is the chance to have a great kid (despite half is biology coming from someone who claims to be "very Christian") according to your vision of this guy's sperm and your egg meeting. And so much could happen between now and the time the child meets (if he's on Identity Release that's not until 18 anyway, right?) Hell, the guy could convert to Buddhism before then for all we know. Is it worth it? If you have very few donor possibilities, this kind of parameter may limit you so writing out the pros and cons might be helpful.

[seraf]

Desert, I personally would skip any donor who defined himself as very spiritual, but only because I have to narrow it down somehow.  I figure, these kids are awful young and impressionable, ripe for cults and churches and um, wait, you wanted a non-offensive answer.  I think if I were looking at midwestern donors I wouldn't find it even remotely strange.  If I were looking at west coast donors I might care.  I may take "very christian" to mean something political.  Being a very athiestic athiest, tho, I would skip anyone who mentions religion.  Got to narrow it down somehow.  I also skip everyone who is shorter than 5'11".  Everyone with brown eyes and everyone in law enforcement.  No rhyme or reason to it!  I tend to stick to donors whose essays move me to tears.

Everyone else, I'm totally thinking of you and wishing you luck!!

[gellybeangrl]

Gracie~ Yah for you....will you test with the digital test tomorrow?!?

Crystal~ So sorry for your loss...hugs to you .

MaxK~ Yeah for getting started! I'm on CD 3 as well and started my meds this morning. I got my fx'ed that this is the cycle for us both!!!

AFM~ CD3 started my injectibles this morning 225ml follistem for 7 days and then we have a u/s and some blood work to see how the follies are looking and then go from there.

Okay...I finally figured out how to post pics...(you all are in trouble, I'm a shutter bug)...here are a few pics of our new fur baby...Bruzier...aka Sid Vicious. lol

 

[justrose13]

Gelly, that is one unbelievably cute pup!

[want2bmumx2]

crystal  - lots of hugs your way from aussie... as they would say here.. "chin up charlie.. she'll be right"

YAY for all of those with BFP's... AF has come for a visit... round 2 to start in 14days.. any tips from anyone about better getting the ovulation dates right.. i am regular as... 28days every time.. we used maybe baby for the ovulation prediction last time and assumed day 14 would be ovulation day. inseminated day 11 and day 13... one time at night and one time in the morning... any hints would be awesome.. i haven't done the temperature marking so wondering if i should this time around...

keeping my fingers and  toes crossed that it's second time lucky for us..

i hope everyone's having a great weekend...

xo and baby dust to all those trying..

[Graceie]

Gellynthat is one crazy cute pup ! And yes I hope I neve got around t buying one today so I hooe to in the am work stuff ds and the blood draw kept me busy what's driving me nuts is no symptoms well exept I complet and totally aversion to choclate ????

[DesertSunsets]

Want2be, so sorry this wasn't your cycle.  As the ladies here often suggest, I'm going to go ahead and recommend reading Stephanie Brill's The New Essential Guide to Lesbian Conception, Pregnancy, and Birth.  She's got great tips on monitoring your fertility and timing your inseminations.  I bought mine used on Amazon here: http://www.amazon.com/gp/offer-listing/1555839401/ref=dp_olp_used?ie=UTF8&qid=1301716021&sr=1-1-catcorr&condition=used  Also, if you've never temped before then starting now and trying to use it to conceive may not work very effectively.  Usually it's more of a tool to use after the cycle is over, to look back over it and see when you ovulated and such.  It's a great idea to monitor your cervical mucus as well as your cervical position.  Your body will tell you when you're most fertile!  Even with a 28 day cycle, you're not guaranteed to ovulate on day 14.  We're all different. 

Graceie, still yay for BFPs!  Can't wait to see that digital test result tomorrow.  And having an aversion to chocolate?!  That's the worst pregnancy symptom EVER!    Whoops, that little guy escaped!  He's ready for the big parade...

Gelly, Bruizer is freaking adorable.  What breed(s) is he?

[Graceie]

Graceie, still yay for BFPs!  Can't wait to see that digital test result tomorrow.  And having an aversion to chocolate?!  That's the worst pregnancy symptom EVER!    Whoops, that little guy escaped!  He's ready for the big parade...

Ok getting DS dressed to go buy a digtal test ! and buy hot sauce now I want hot sauce ! so aparretnly my pregacy sympotoms are limited to food ????? anyways will report back soon

[Graceie]

BFP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  yes + on the digital whooo