My first encounter with talking about prejudice and discrimination--parent to child.

[peaceful_mama]

DS is 6.  He attends a small, wonderful magnet school.  In the same building is a program for elementary students new to the country who are learning English--I *think* what it is, is when they first come and don't know a word, they attend this program part-day and a regular classroom in their neighborhood part-day.

Well, my son came home from school today and told me he thought he was going to get kicked out of his school and have to go to "the other school" if the other kids found out he goes to Islamic class on the weekends.  :(  He also made a comment the other day that "kids who don't take a bath have to go to the other school."

I emailed the teacher about the first comment, no response...which is weird, I've always gotten something even if it's a thanks I'll look into it.

Today I sent another email stating exactly what he said and that I am very concerned about this fear and where it's coming from.

I asked him who told him that, and he said nobody, he just thinks it. 

:(:(:(:(:(

We did talk a little about some other kids in his class who we know have obvious different things about their families...yet, they all go to his class...and how the other school is for kids who don't know English, so nobody is going to send him there.

Thoughts?!  It's always just been a fact of life at our house that people come in different colors, come from different parts of the world, etc. etc.  We've not really discussed much about religion, except that we are Muslim so we don't eat pork, we don't do Christmas, we do Ramadan....the natural stuff kids ask about.

[Eclipsepearl]

I'm a little unclear on this. 

My son has run into issues because he's circ'd (few boys are here in France and we only did it for religious reasons, valid or not). Also, he overheard a kid saying that Americans were stupid. It was at the start of the 2nd Gulf war so I told him it was political. The irony was, I'm against it too, so I told him he could "use" this fact, if it helps him.

I did call the school and talk to them but they assured me that the kid probably overheard an adult say that and is probably unclear on both what an American even is and the fact that it's my child's second nationality (he's born in France). They wouldn't consider it a direct attack on my son. 

We have a lot of Moslems in our school and I've had to explain the politics, and how they are similar, yet different, to us. He can also contrast that with the Catholic majority here in France, and how they eat pork and have different beliefs too. 

I would talk to him and clear up whether he's overheard something (as my son did) or whether he's twisted something around that he's been told (unclean=foreigner?). Also, try to find out if this was a personal attack. I think that's important to know. 

[peaceful_mama]

Still no response from the teacher.  Last night, he told me kids have made fun of his last name too.  I just sent an email briefly restating the facts of the other *two* emails I sent along with the new info that kids are making fun of his name and said that I want to know how this issue is going to be addressed.

He won't say who's doing it or anything like that.  I've kept our conversations focused mainly on letting him know the facts--like that he will NOT be kicked out of his school and sent to the other school.  The other school is for kids who need to learn English.

And on how to appropriately respond when somebody is trying to upset you by making fun of you....

I'm giving this till Monday evening.  If by then I have not gotten any response, I'll be going up the chain to the principal.  He's hearing this 'garbage' about the kids at "the other school" somewhere...in our family, we have friends from all over the world, we don't know the concept of "foreigner" like that.  (when he made that comment about the bath, it was something I obviously was not supposed to overhear, and said like he was just thinking about something he heard and trying to process what it was supposed to mean...)

[raksmama]

 Even if no one told him this he is somehow getting the idea it is bad to be Muslim and this is sad L

There is so much racism against Moslems now days!

[Eclipsepearl]

So what happened? 

I say next time go straight to the principal, like I did. This could also avoid stickiness with the teacher (like s/he is being criticised because they didn't see/hear it, etc.) and let them know this goes way beyond classroom discipline. There are actual racist attitudes in the class and intervention is needed. Let the principal decide. Ours' opted to go into the class and talk to them as a group, bypassing the teacher entirely. 

Too true about prejudice against Moslems. I'm Jewish so they think I'm sympathetic. NOT! I live in a Islamic neighborhood so I take offense to dissing my neighbors and friends. 

Don't get me started! 

Good luck!