We found out on Tuesday that we are having a boy. I had a feeling that was the case anyhow, but it was confirmed and everything looked perfect. It was very exciting. He's kicking a lot these days, and others are able to feel it so we're really getting into the sweet spot of pregnancy. But here's my dilemma -- I didn't really feel disappointed that we are having a boy; I expected it and I see a lot of really cool positives about having an older sister/younger brother dynamic. BUT I have come to realize that I, for some reason, feel like having a boy is a lot less special than having a girl. I'm not sure why I think this way. I know that I could have happily had only daughters and not felt like I was missing out on something, and I'm sure that's a part of it. But why do I feel like I am doing something less special, less rewarding, now that I know our baby is a boy?
I haven't been upset about it (except at the thought of legos taking over my house. Darn those legos) at all, but it is somehow kind of a "Oh, well okay." feeling. When I read birth stories or find out someone is having a girl I feel like they did a better job, or somehow got something more precious than I will. I wonder if part of me feels that because he's a boy he'll be less mine, somehow. Another factor is a stepson who has some issues and who has had very different parenting than what my DF and I have planned (no video games, etc). I thought maybe part of it also, is that I don't like a lot of "boy" things. I don't like the dark, bright colors of a lot of boy clothes and gear, I'm bothered by the inherently violent aspect of the majority of boy toys, I can't stand sports... and I have absolutely loved being the mother to a little girl (which, obviously I still will be, but she's 4 and growing up so very fast). I'm not too worried about this feeling leaking over into when the baby is actually here, I already love him to pieces, but I'm wondering if anyone has any thoughts on this? I would also love to hear some experiences from mothers with sons.