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Bitter Sushi Ladies, April 2011 - Page 6

post #101 of 205
Lava- I have been thinking about you. Sorry for the bad appointment. That is so wrong. And so dissappointing. I hope you wont need to see the doc after all, but not seeing her certainly doesn't help with the stress level, I am sure. I forgot, what country are you in? Is that a normal thing for the health care system?

What is Carry On?
post #102 of 205

lava - Glad your numbers came back good, hope the second set does, too. How infuriating about the doctor! Why can't they let you make the call about if you want to see the doc or not? I mean, you're paying for it! (rcr, I'm 98% sure lava's in Texas like me, so it isn't a healthcare system thing.)

 

AFM, just talked to my mom a little bit ago. Grandpa's not doing well. They tried to take him off the vent 3x yesterday, and he couldn't do it. They think things are shutting down. But they've thought that before, so who knows? My dad's on his way out there again tonight, trying to help my grandma sort out some sort of tax mess by tomorrow. So we're on standby, just waiting to know if we need to drop everything and go. Which is sort of tough, when money's not that plentiful and we're waiting on an RE appointment Monday, with possible need for follow-up Tuesday or Wednesday. But it will all work out somehow.

 

I really hate to say it, but I'm kind of wondering if this is going to be one of those trade things... maybe Grandpa going back home will let my baby come to me. I don't exactly believe it works like that, but I guess I still kind of wonder...

post #103 of 205

Lava- sorry for the bad Dr. appt! That's soooo frustrating! I am not a big fan of most doctors. I know there are some great ones out there, but I feel like the personal touch is completely lost on most of them..they don't treat people as individuals..but let me quit ranting and say that I really hope your numbers are great tomorrow and that the Carry On really helps. I am also so glad you have your wonderful midwife. I also agree that they really should let you come in if you want to! I know that my ob.gyn I used with my DS always said that I could come in any time I wanted to. Is there a way for you to switch?

 

monkey - I am sorry to hear about your grandpa. I have to admit I have had those same thoughts before, that someone has to go before my baby can come. But I don't really believe that either..I just think about it at times, since it happens that way in families so often. But when it comes down to it, life is full of the cycle of birth and death, so I don't think that's really true.

 

 

post #104 of 205

Monkey - interesting that you bring that up. I was thinking about that for the last few days. My dog is probably dieing, and when I tried to say good-bye to her two nights ago (because I thought that she wouldn't make it through the night, but she did), I whispered to her how much I love her and thanked her for being my best friend for the last 11 years, and I asked her if she could send my future baby all of her kindness and gentleness.

 

Anyway, Sorry about your granddpa. I hope if he is dieing that he can die in peace.

post #105 of 205

I swear, if my mom texts me one more picture of a newborn, I'm going to lose it! Apparently my cousin's girlfriend just had a baby. I didn't know he had a girlfriend (he got divorced last year, I think?), let alone a pregnant girlfriend. It would be one thing if I were even close to this cousin, or had spoken to him any time in the last 5 years, but I haven't. I'm sure my mom's just trying to keep me connected with the family, but two random newborn pictures in two days is just a little too much! Especially since she knows we're (unsuccessfully) TTC. And, of course, last night's text came after dh and I had already gone to sleep, and I happened to have my phone in the bedroom (I normally don't), so I got woken up by it and had to try to absorb it in a not-fully-conscious state. And then I couldn't sleep for the rest of the night. (Don't know if it was that or something else, but that didn't help!) RARRRRRRRRR!!! I know my mom really doesn't mean to hurt me - she just wants me to know what's going on, but... bleh. So done with this!

post #106 of 205
Af is here, and so is another brand new baby- born to parents who in my eyes don't deserve it.
Bitchy right?
post #107 of 205

Milk8shake - Yeah, happens sometimes. :(

 

Well, talked to mom tonight... apparently my cousin was told he would never be able to have kids (after a few years trying with ex-wife), so I guess this baby is his miracle. Makes me feel a little ashamed of myself. Sigh.

 

So on pins and needles about tomorrow. My worst fear is... nothing. That the drugs did nothing, that there are no follicles. That, and, umm... getting the hCG shot. I just read the instructions on that, and it looks awful! Glad the doc is probably going to do it for me. :( But really, the fear of no follicles is worse.

post #108 of 205

Milk8shake- I hate when that happens. I don't think it's bitchy. Sometimes it's just the truth! Sorry about af.

 

Monkey- I'm praying for you and can't wait for the update tomorrow! Come on follicles!

 

AFM- 8dpo...getting really antsy. But also super busy trying to get ready to move to our new place next weekend. Ugh. This is one move I am not excited about..just moving across town for cheaper rent, and my DS is very upset about it because this is the only house he remembers, and we are downsizing in a huge way. I guess it's good I have this distraction of moving going on so that I don't start going crazy wondering if I'm going to be in or out..

 

 

post #109 of 205
Quote:
Originally Posted by monkeyscience View Post

Well, talked to mom tonight... apparently my cousin was told he would never be able to have kids (after a few years trying with ex-wife), so I guess this baby is his miracle. Makes me feel a little ashamed of myself. Sigh.

 

So on pins and needles about tomorrow. My worst fear is... nothing. That the drugs did nothing, that there are no follicles. That, and, umm... getting the hCG shot. I just read the instructions on that, and it looks awful! Glad the doc is probably going to do it for me. :( But really, the fear of no follicles is worse.

 Good luck today!

 

You know.... The fact that the photo was of a "miracle baby" does not really change things much. Your mom needs to get a clue. It is enough to say so and so had a baby. She does not need to be texting you photos. You know, it seems to me that sometimes TTC means, in other people's opinions, that you must be a person who likes kids and for whom the idea of babies of something "current." Thus you may actually be the first one told about every possible baby, etc. I think this is what is going on with some relatives of mine. Someone always wants to tell me of friends' grandbabies, of the kids of relatives, what they do and how cute they are and so on. I think this is just in that category of "people who have not experienced infertility just don't get it."

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by lilmom View Post

AFM- 8dpo...getting really antsy. But also super busy trying to get ready to move to our new place next weekend. Ugh. This is one move I am not excited about..just moving across town for cheaper rent, and my DS is very upset about it because this is the only house he remembers, and we are downsizing in a huge way. I guess it's good I have this distraction of moving going on so that I don't start going crazy wondering if I'm going to be in or out..

 

 

 

Good luck lilmom, with testing in a couple of days... and with the move. Hope it won't be too bad.
 

Milk8shake I really get what you are saying. It is not a nice thought and does not feel nice to have to think that, but I do get it.

 

I have been reading a 79 page long thread about having an only child. While I cannot relate to a lot of stuff there (not wanting more and finding the first years of babe's life really terrible), there are some things that explain my experiences and part of my bitterness very well. E.g. it seems that I am not alone is that I am expected to be the free babysitter everywhere. You know, since I don't have my hands so full, others seem to easily feel that I should let my daughter be alone (as she is older than a lot of the other kids of friends) and look after their younger kids. I do help, but sometimes it gets very annoying. "So because I am not able to have a baby myself, I am supposed to look after your kids, who are out of control, or carry around your crying baby because you think crying is no big deal..." The thing is, I used to consider myself a real baby and kid person. I had endless understanding for kids and would always try to make them feel better, talk to them as much as to the parents, etc. However, as dd has grown and is not so needy anymore, I have really grown out of that mold and it is very tiring for me now whenever I feel I need to go back to that way of being. I think this is partly due to all the big emotions surrounding the idea of smaller kids for me, partly because I am not used to all that anymore.

 

I have also noticed that time at some friends' houses leaves me exhausted, just watching them parent. (Mainly due to their methods of parenting). Thus I have again come to the conclusion that we should try to make some older friends with kids dd's age or older. It is one phase in life where everyone is running after toddlers and there are no real discussions because everything is always interrupted. I used to love the chaos. Now, however, the chaos is totally onesided and leaves me wanting to go home. (Cruel? I don't know... Just not a good fit, anymore.) Then again, I can deal with it all when the parents are nurturing and all that. It is the mainstream cr*p that really gets to me. (Ok, toddler, time to go to sleep. Scream away... We'll put you to bed and you can scream there while everyone else pretends to be able to have a conversation. Ok, baby. Yeah, you need to nurse but, as always, you will need to scream for sometime first, because we want to stick to the schedule we had planned for the night. I have a couole of things I am going to do first before nursing.)

 

I am really starting to feel differently about out little family. For the first time, ever, I am starting to see that there are benefits, also, to just having one. There ARE  things that are better now that we are a family of three. That does not mean that I would ever choose these benefits rather than a new human being, but, as it is, those benefits do exist, so I might as well concentrate on them, rather than on what we do not have. I am seriously thinking of cancelling our appointment this summer. Part of me thinks it is a good idea to officially know that there was nothing that could be done to help us conceive. Yet, the other part thinks that maybe we don't want to know which of us is the one with the problem. Even if I got pregnant right now, dd would bew almost 7 when the baby was born. Therefore, it is clear that a baby can never bring back the dream of having a sibling when dd was 4 or something. This IS our situation and that's that. I have thought of all this so much in the past 6 months and have gone through all kinds of emotions. For the first time, right now, I am starting to see light at the end of the tunnel, even if we never conceive or adopt.

 

Of course out situation is quite different than that of many here, already having a child. I so hope and pray that you all will get to hold your baby as soon as possible!

post #110 of 205
Update Monkey? Wasn't someone in the TWW? Kyamo maybe?

LTB - I'm glad that you are having moments of peace and of feeling like things will be OK for you in your reality. I love those moments when they come. I hate that they seem to be so few and far between (for myself).

AFM - I plan to continue to read along here, but I guess I'll start just posting AFMs on the grad thread. For now it looks like this baby will stick around. Friday's hcg level was 1,234. My doctor also changed her mind (or maybe the nurse just didn't know last week) and wants me to keep my appointment tomorrow morning, which makes me very happy. (Scratch that - she's cancelling the appointment tomorrow and the 7 wk appointment and bringing me in next week at 6 weeks.) She wants me to continue my baby aspirin and cut out caffeine completely.

I have this peaceful feeling (off and on) that this is actually going to end in a baby. I try not to put too much stock in it b/c I remember feeling this way with m/c #3, but it is what it is. I actually get a little scared now and then thinking about an actual baby. I've longed for one for so long, but another baby of my own? I've almost forgot what that's really like, you know?

Anyway, I'm rooting for you all. You ladies have kept me sane over the past 1/2 year or so since I've been posting here. I hope to see you all in the grad thread soon! (And I hope I stay graduated!!)
Edited by lavatea - 4/18/11 at 9:59am
post #111 of 205
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by lavatea View Post

Wasn't someone in the TWW? Kyamo maybe?


I'm so glad to hear your 2nd hcg was good news!

 

Yes, I'm in the TWW, thanks for asking.  I am 9DPO.  Not much to say, just the standard swinging between having hope and then thinking there's no chance so I shouldn't torture myself getting my hopes up.  I will probably test around 11 or 12 DPO.  

post #112 of 205
Quote:
Originally Posted by Milk8shake View Post

Af is here, and so is another brand new baby- born to parents who in my eyes don't deserve it.
Bitchy right?

Don't get me started....winky.gif
I happened to be perusing the adoption sites even though I never thought it was an option for me. I started thinking about it last night. Long story short, there are soooo many "sibling groups" here available in South Florida. What happened? Why were these kids taken from their parents? I'm talking groups or 4-5 brothers and sisters. I'm sure a few were orphaned, but many had violent issues due to abuse. (The last thing I need around my 4 1/2 yr old son.) Why are their parents able to breed like rats, yet all the wonderful ladies on here have so much trouble when they have so much love to give? end rant...
Anyway I already talked myself out of it.
post #113 of 205

Drive-by posting, because I'm at my parents:

 

4 follicles that are growing-ish: 10 mm, 10 mm, 11 mm, and 12 mm. Repeat ultrasound either Thursday or Friday (hoping for Friday, since I'm off work - have to call them back and talk about it). Will come back with more later! Thanks for the good wishes!

post #114 of 205
Monkey - hcg shot- ice ice ice.. at least 10 minutes.
post #115 of 205

Kyamo- We are cycle buddies this time around! I am not going to test this time unless AF no shows. Last time I just got too obsessive with my testing and I don't like torturing myself or getting my hopes up for nothing either. So I won't be testing until 14dpo, if AF doesn't come when she usually does on 13dpo. I hope this is it for both of us!!!

 

LTB- Thanks for the best wishes! I am glad you are feeling more peaceful about things, but I wish you didn't have to, if that makes sense.

 

Lava- Speaking of peaceful,  I am thrilled to hear things are looking so good for this baby! Will keep you and baby Lava in my prayers that you just stay graduated!

 

Monkey- Hooray for follies! I'll be looking for your update later on.

 

AFM- Maybe TMI but today my stomach has been rumbly and gassy..trying not to make anything of it. Probably nothing. 9dpo..

post #116 of 205

 

LAVA- Want to know how the Apt when today?? I hope that meeting with your Dr was helpful and you have more of a game plan... I sometimes dislike nurses, they tend to gum things up... sometimes they just need to say I'm going to let YOUR DR call you about those items! Grrr! But I'm sooo glad your numbers are doubling normally!

 

Monkey- Yeahhhhh! keep getting nice big eggs ready lady!!!

 

AFM- I've been sick & we got a new Puppy (lack of sleep) and I called the Dr and they said Oh yeah you can't fight this cold on your own - here are some Drugs, so I'm on antibiotics for the next 10 days... fun! But in the mist of all the fevers and feeling sick... I O-ed a LOT earlier then normal.... But my temp has been up for the last few days.... I'm 3 dpo.... we'll see if I continue but I don't think things were timed right... :o( So with the new puppy my boss told me that she thought this is how I'm going to end up prego, I'm going to be so tired with the new doggy and get sick... so fare true but to end up prego because of all this.... doubtful! The Pug Puppy, Yoda, is very cute and is being a great training tool for my DH, he loves this little guy soo much and is taking very good care of him! We have a 4 yo pug now Cole, love my Cole-man, and this is one of his sons, we studded him out so we could have the same blood line. But I feel slightly better today, at least the coughing is to a min... But I'm ready to be better... But I will keep you posted to see if I just had a low grade fever because of the sickness or if I did O.... Still not sure... i do have my chart online if anyone wants to see PM me.

 

Signing off... Glad people are counting down and getting answers...

 

post #117 of 205

rcr - Is that ice before or ice after you're recommending?

 

lava - Stay graduated!! So glad the hCG looked good!

 

Kyamo & lilmom - Thinking of you!

 

AFM, doctor called and wants me to go back Thursday. I'm still hoping to talk them out of it, since I'm off work Friday and trying to explain yet another doctor's appointment Thursday (plus making sub plans) is not something I'm looking forward to. I'm using OPKs, so I shouldn't miss O, anyway. I'm actually a little relieved the follicles weren't ready yesterday - last night was not a good time for BD (we didn't get home till 10, and dh is getting sick), and since dh is still sick, tonight doesn't look good either. I feel like I can use a little break in the anxiety. Of course, now I'm back to waiting to see what will happen!

post #118 of 205

Lava - Glad things are going good, I'll keep you in my prayers!!!

 

Monkey - Yeah for the follies! - how big should they be?

 

AGreenMum - Congrats on the puppy, I love that you called him Yoda, I'm a sci-fi geek!

 

Kyamo and Lilmom - Crossing my fingers for you both.

post #119 of 205

Smiles - The nurse (or whoever did my ultrasound... I'm not really sure of her job!) said they want them to be 20-22 mm to trigger me.

 

Nurse called back and said that it's *probably* okay for me to come in first thing Friday, but she has to check with the doctor to be sure.

post #120 of 205
Monkey - Ice before. That needle is really long and scary, but you wont feel it if you ice your butt beforehand.
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