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Bitter Sushi Ladies, April 2011 - Page 9

post #161 of 205
Thread Starter 

Objet, do you want a link to your chart on the first page?

post #162 of 205

CD18 for me, and still no positive OPK. BUT... it looks like there's actually a second line on the test strip now! I'm using a digital test, and it claims that there is no possible way to read the test strip, but I'm pretty sure it's exactly the same as the standard OPK. So I'm hopeful I'll get a positive test tomorrow or the next day. It is good to be with family, even if there is spontaneous breaking into tears. And I think if I end up needing the shot, my grandma can actually give it to me. She's been giving herself shots for years, and while I think hers are subcutaneous, she's at least comfortable with that "dart-like motion" that so terrifies

me.

 

 

post #163 of 205
Kyamo- sure, why not. Now that I even know how to chart and link it to people, sounds good.

Also, I'm about to start doing the ferning tests. My mom bought me the stuff I would need for it, since she's had good experiences with it, so I figure what the hay.
post #164 of 205
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by objet_trouve View Post

Kyamo- sure, why not. Now that I even know how to chart and link it to people, sounds good.

Also, I'm about to start doing the ferning tests. My mom bought me the stuff I would need for it, since she's had good experiences with it, so I figure what the hay.


Could you post the link again then?  I scanned back over some of your posts and didn't see it.  

 

post #165 of 205

Sorry, this will be all about me. :) I do read every word, though.

 

cd 1. No surprise there, as my breasts already decreased in size and I was in a really terrible mood yesterday. I am thankful that I no longer cramp throughout the 2ww. Strangely enough, for the past couple of months, my af has been super easy. However, that does not go hand in hand with my emotions and mental well being: I get really pissy right before af and really down on dc 1. Well, ok, so af arriving is depressing, but this is not really that, at least wholly. I just get so depressed as, I think, due to hormones. I am unable to be interested in anything or be happy about anything. Luckily, it goes away after some days. It is really just awful. (Interestingly enough, before dd, I used to have terribly painful periods but not these awful mood swings. It has realy reversed.)

 

I wrote a message to my inlaws yesterday about other stuff and also mentioned that dd would like us to adopt (and that we would, also). I want them to kind of know what is going on, but also don't want to really discuss the matter, if that makes any sense. They have always known we wanted many children and have never asked about our situation, other than how I was doing with hypothyroidism. (This is not a complaint, I think they have been very thoughtful that way.) Mainly, I can't talk about wanting to adopt, and not being able to, without it sounding like "give us money." (And not just that, but like "give us $20 000," since they know we don't have any extra.) We have made the decision for me to stay at home and for dh to go back to school. (The school things had to happen, because he would never get a job here with his previous degrees.) While it just so happens that these decisions prevent us from adopting, it is still out decision and we alone are responsible for it. Thus, even though not getting more grandchildren, at least from us, of course affects them, too, it is not their responsibility to help with the finances.

 

BTW, the "little guy" is still on the website for children waiting to be adopted. I just don't get it how no one wants to adopt an otherwise healthy, super cute infant with club feet. (Just in case anyone is reading that does not know what I am talking about: I have been watching this baby since Christmas. The adoptive family has to be Muslim, and we are not. Otherwise I would be finding that money... somewhere.) It just breaks my heart that kids like him have to remain in orphanages, when they could be with loving families. I don't get what the problem is. I was told that the kids are normally taken off the website in no more than a week after someone commits to them, so he still seems to be "free."

 

Stuff is just painful today. You all know the feelings and how they cycle, I think. What is new for me right now is the realization that I had, in many ways, a difficult pregnancy with dd. (Depressed until the end, basically, terrible all day sickness, weekness, issues with breathing.) Yet, when I got pregnant, I was in better shape, in many ways, than I am now. Thus the idea of a pregnancy, if I could get pregnant, is actually pretty scary, as much as I would want it, anyway. Yet, that is the only "free" way to have children. (Where I live the care is practically free.)

 

Hoping for some baby news for April, yet! :) Anyone testing soon?

 

O_T... You will pretty quickly see on your sharts whether or not you have a luteal phase defect. I used to have one, but it went away after I started to take B6 (or, really, a B complex). There is of course also the chance of progesterone cream (e.g. Pro-Gest) or something stronger from your doctor. Now, I actually don't know if the causes of a luteal phase defect can be behind other issues, even after the lp has been fixed with vitamins or such. My lp does not seem to stay long enough without the B complex, so that may be part of our problem.. don't know. I will have my progesterone measured some time this summer, I would assume, but doubt that things are that simple for me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

post #166 of 205

So I did an hpt today and I could swear there was a line, I mean it was a blue dye one and I have done them in the past and seen a really skinny blue line on one side which I know is not a positive but with this one it was really really faint but it was the full thickness.  So then I ran out and did a digital which said bfn. I really hate the digital tests, I'd rather obsess over whether or not I see a line then to see the flat out NO.  Anyways, I am by no means getting my hopes up, it was probably nothing but my hopeful imagination, I will test again as I am obsessive but I will try and wait a day or so.

post #167 of 205
hug.gifKyamo and LTB, sorry about AF.

Objet - FF changed my O date a lot, too. I usually had a good sense of when I thought I O'ed and just went with that.

Smiles - I have my fingers crossed for you.
post #168 of 205
Just popping in to say hello. I just read 4+ pages, so I can't keep up with personals.

I don't know if anyone remembers me, let alone my rants about my coworker. Well, she is preggo, and showing and in maternity clothes from the get go. She is a bit overweight and she is just really looking preggo now. I could handle that, but what I can't handle is her condescending talk about others on their fertility journey. She was talking before about this woman she knows who is going through her "pregnancy midlife crisis" knowing full well that I am in my 40s.

She has gone on and on about a friend (with another mutual "friend") who has had trouble conceiving and is going to a RE and doing injections and I think going on to IVF. They were rolling their eyes and saying that if they had been meant to have a baby, they would be pregnant, and they are trying too hard, probably if they stressed less, they would just get pregnant, but they had better get over it (get the idea?)

This is the same woman who told me down's syndrome stats for women my age when she knew we were trying.

I also have to hear about the day to day agonies of her pregnancy and the nausea complaints and I could go on and on URGH! angry.gif

Well, it is not the only reason, but a huge contributing factor in my decision to leave that job. I can't work around her. I find myself tense just to see her. I mean, who would roll their eyes at a woman who is going through IVF ???!!!???



I know I don't post much any more, and I see a lot of new faces. I haven't even been lurking much anymore. I just peek in from time to time. I just really needed to vent about this woman and there is no one in my life who "gets it" like you BSL ladies <3
post #169 of 205
Good to "see" you, Beloved. I remember well the stories about your co-worker. I don't blame you at all for leaving that job to avoid being around her. She still sounds awful and in need of a good dose of reality. Ugh.
post #170 of 205

Miss a couple days around here and you miss alot!

 

Beloved - I do believe your coworker would make even a saint irate! I do not blame you one bit for leaving. I actually have a friend who is reminding me alot of your coworker right now who is driving me crazy with her facebook complaints about her pregnancy. It is all I can do to keep myself quiet and polite. I am considering de-friending her. I politely reminded her today that she is getting an amazing blessing when this is all over. I did not say that I would give quite alot to have those problems she has. But I sure did think it. I hope you will be happier and more at peace leaving her behind!! And of course we remember you! You are still cared for over here, friend.

 

MBA- Somehow I missed that you were having twins too I think!!! Or else my memory is totally shot! That is awesome!!!!! Woo HOOOO....I bet you are thinking up some great names for those little bundles!!!! Sooo excited for you!

 

Smiles- hoping for you!!! Maybe this is your time!

 

SweetBee- That is fantastic that you O'ed on cd14! maybe that is just what you need! And I was all proud of myself for O'ing on cd23 this last month. Look at you! I wonder what changed? Can you think of anything you did different? At any rate, it's great.

 

O_T- Don't worry, FF changes my O date around all the time..sometimes I get crosshairs, sometimes dotted lines..sometimes it takes O away altogether. TCOYF is a great book! It will really help you figure out how to get a good idea of when you are actually O'ing based on cervical mucus. (If you aren't doing that already) It is just really a wealth of information, I think. A great investment. Anyway, I usually know when I am O'ing now, even if FF doesn't! And usually, FF does get it right in the end for me, as long as I'm entering my temps correctly and keeping track of everything. After you've charted for awhile, you will also know if you have a luteal phase defect. Sometimes you could have a fluke cycle too. So if it was short this last time, I wouldnt worry until you see a pattern of that happening over and over.

 

monkey- did you do the shot yet? how did it go?

 

Kyamo- I hope your body just needed a little time to adjust to femara and this next time will be it.

 

LTB- That is so sad about the little guy still waiting. I met a mom at the park today who was there with her little 2 yr old, and she told me he was adopted. We talked about it a little bit and she didn't say anything about her fertility issues, just that she and her husband had been married 8 yrs when they adopted him. They were lucky to have a private adoption, so much cheaper than an agency. Anyway, it made me think about it too. I am not quite there yet, and we don't have the money anyway, but I loved seeing how this mom was with her son. I just think adoption is a really great thing for all the little ones out there who need a good family to care for them. ...Also, you said before DD you had very painful periods but not many mood swings, and now it's reversed..well, the same thing happened to me! I was thinking about it this weekend alot, since AF was here. I get really bad pms now, where I am super depressed and moody, and grouchy before and after my period. My cramps seem to be alot weaker than before DS though. But before DS, I didn't have these mood swings. I hope this isn't just coinciding with me just getting older and closer to menopause though, and I think it's related to DS but it's actually just me getting old. I know that my dear friend, who has no children, and is my same age, told me that her mood swings before and during her period have become much worse in the past couple of years. I find that very disheartening! But maybe for me it really is just because of having DS. I don't know. I do know that I just want to have more kids. Sigh. Before the mom of the adopted boy showed up at the park today, I was looking around at all the moms with their kids, and DS was the lone only. All the other kids had siblings to play with. It just made me feel sad. I was so glad when they showed up and the little boy wanted to play with my son as much as DS wanted to play with him. Sorry AF came for you too by the way.

 

GreenMum- hopefully you still have a chance to time it right!

 

AFM- moving during AF has not been fun. Actually, this move just has been terrible. But, I'm trying to hang in there. Hope I didn't forget anybody. I tried to do good personals this time!

 

 

 

post #171 of 205


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by LessTraveledBy View Post
I wrote a message to my inlaws yesterday about other stuff and also mentioned that dd would like us to adopt (and that we would, also). I want them to kind of know what is going on, but also don't want to really discuss the matter, if that makes any sense. They have always known we wanted many children and have never asked about our situation, other than how I was doing with hypothyroidism. (This is not a complaint, I think they have been very thoughtful that way.) Mainly, I can't talk about wanting to adopt, and not being able to, without it sounding like "give us money." (And not just that, but like "give us $20 000," since they know we don't have any extra.) We have made the decision for me to stay at home and for dh to go back to school. (The school things had to happen, because he would never get a job here with his previous degrees.) While it just so happens that these decisions prevent us from adopting, it is still out decision and we alone are responsible for it. Thus, even though not getting more grandchildren, at least from us, of course affects them, too, it is not their responsibility to help with the finances.

 

BTW, the "little guy" is still on the website for children waiting to be adopted. I just don't get it how no one wants to adopt an otherwise healthy, super cute infant with club feet. (Just in case anyone is reading that does not know what I am talking about: I have been watching this baby since Christmas. The adoptive family has to be Muslim, and we are not. Otherwise I would be finding that money... somewhere.) It just breaks my heart that kids like him have to remain in orphanages, when they could be with loving families. I don't get what the problem is. I was told that the kids are normally taken off the website in no more than a week after someone commits to them, so he still seems to be "free."

LTB: I think I kind of know the feeling - with regard to making decisions and being responsible for them.  We have been much like that.  DP was the sole provider during the time that I have been off work.  I have only just really returned to the work force, I had nearly 12 months off.  It was an absolute necessity for my mental health at that time, after all that we had been through. We managed okay during this time, but did have to be more selective about how we spent our money.  I can honestly say that most of our friends did not understand - even DP's family.  Most of them felt that us earning money, and having nice things, and holidays and the like were more important than my health and our relationship.  We have had a few comments made about this when I have discussed surrogacy or adoption, and the financial hurdles that they present.  As though my not working meant that I had no right to lament the cost of trying to add to our family.  I'm not asking for help, money or sympathy - I just find it terribly frustrating that whilst our friends will be putting their money into investment properties, boats, or overseas trips - our extra cash will have the single focus of having a child - something that they all have done for "free".

 

Can I ask which website you look at for the adoptions? I'd like to check it out.

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by Smilesarefree View Post

So I did an hpt today and I could swear there was a line, I mean it was a blue dye one and I have done them in the past and seen a really skinny blue line on one side which I know is not a positive but with this one it was really really faint but it was the full thickness.  So then I ran out and did a digital which said bfn. I really hate the digital tests, I'd rather obsess over whether or not I see a line then to see the flat out NO.  Anyways, I am by no means getting my hopes up, it was probably nothing but my hopeful imagination, I will test again as I am obsessive but I will try and wait a day or so.

Hope the good news is on it's way.
 

AFM:

Back from holidays.   I've been reading along, just couldn't really post.  It was a pretty decent holiday, but it was also hard in a lot of way.  We spent a lot of time with our two nephews, who are 6 and 2.5.  They are great, and we hadly see them, but I did feel a bit left out of the family Easter stuff. 

 

We also had to visit with DP's best mate, who's little girl was born less than a week after my first loss.  I can't help but associate her with that awful time in my life.  They kept talking about how she will be two soon.  That hurt a lot. 

 

Then, on our last day, SIL announced she was pregnant.  To give them credit, they did take us aside, and tell us seperately so we had a couple of moments to adjust to the news.  They were pretty sensitive about it, as they have had a couple of losses.  I'm happy for them, and MIL is thrilled no end, but I still can't help being a bit jealous about it.

I just feel really left behind.  I was hoping that 2011 would be my year, and I would have a Christmas baby perhaps, but she is getting it instead.  I got AF.

 

Next weekend we have to go to our friend's little boy's 1st birthday.  That's another touchy one, because me being pregnant the first time was the reason that this couple decided to try for another (they have 2 girls).  I lost mine, she got pregnant almost straight away, and had a healthy baby. 

 

I'm a little bit lost. 

 

 

 

post #172 of 205
post #173 of 205

Hugs, Milk8shake.... rough stuff!

 

Wishing everyone a good week, or at least as good as possible... :)

post #174 of 205

Beloved, your coworker sounds horrible. It's nice that you soon won't have to deal with her judgmental comments anymore.

 

lilmom, I'm sorry about the move and a new cycle for you. hug.gif But you said you Oed earlier than usual? What did you do differently?

 

Regarding my earlier O, the only thing I did differently this cycle was a pilates DVD workout almost every day. I'm not sure if it's related, but I suppose it could be. Another possibility is my body has finally returned to normal 2 years after giving birth (my son turns 2 this weekend!). Or it's just a fluke normal cycle and I'll be back to longer ones after this, but I don't want to think about that.

 

My temp was pretty high this morning, so I'm pretty sure I did ovulate. The question now is when. http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/2e2172

Either Sunday (CD16) or yesterday (CD17), but I'm not sure which one. I didn't start temping until like CD12, and my CM is kind of confusing this cycle. Monday I had watery with a touch of creamy and today creamy with a touch of watery. I'm going to guess Sunday because it sounds nice to have ovulated on Easter. smile.gif BTW, the birds have been singing their mating songs like crazy outside our windows, so I hope they pass on some fertile vibes to me.

 

Milk8shake, sorry things are tough for you right now, too. Pregnancy announcements are really difficult to hear, as are little babies.

 

LTB, lilmom, I also used to have very painful periods. Every few months, I would even spend half of CD1 on the floor of the bathroom, vomiting into the toilet. Ever since giving birth, though, I have zero cramps. Instead, for a day or so I have that postpartum-like ache where it feels like my cervix hurts if I stand up too long. Maybe the lack of cramps is from having given birth (more relaxed uterus or something?)? I don't think it's menopause because I'm only 28. Well, I hope it's not, anyway.

post #175 of 205
Quote:
Originally Posted by miriam_bat_avraham View Post

 

Drive-by post-- don't stress too much about the shot. The needle is super thin and you barely feel it. I'm a huge wimp and I did all of my shots myself! It's over in half a second. You could probably find some "giving myself a shot" videos on YouTube, to take some mystery out of it. Good luck!!!
 

 

It depends on whether you are injecting it intramuscularly (in the butt) or subcutaneously (in the belly). The needle for subcutaneous injections is tiny, the nurse showed me the one for the intramuscular injection and it is big and scary. My clinic only gives people the small needles because they say the big ones freak people out and they think it works just as well when they do the small ones.
 

 

post #176 of 205

Beloved - Yeah, I remember your coworker. banghead.gif  She really thinks that anyone who is doing IVF "wasn't meant to have a baby"??? I don't truly wish miscarriages on people, but she makes me want to start. If I lived anywhere near where you did, I think I'd come have you do my hair (I am remembering right that you work in a salon, aren't I?), and if your coworker said a single word, give her a very large piece of my mind. I'm so sick of the "just relax, you'll get pregnant". And the stories of all the people who adopted, only to get pregnant. In my case, yes, honestly stress may have contributed to my not ovulating. But that's not the only factor, and if I could wave a magic wand and make my stress go away, I would have a long time ago! And there are plenty of people who have adopted and never, ever gotten pregnant. Bleh. I think someone needs to add "fertilism" to the list of prejudices. :P

 

Smiles - Oh, I hope it turns into a BFP!!

 

 

I'm probably missing others I should say something to, but I need to get going.

 

AFM, still no +OPK. I really thought yesterday would be the day. If I don't get one today, I'm going to do the shot.

 

 

post #177 of 205

Beloved! *hugs*

 

Also, I too would like adoption page links; I'm signed up with Rainbow Kids but my husband is iffy on adopting any sort of needs at this time.

post #178 of 205
Thread Starter 

Objet, its added now.  

 

Beloved - Nice to see you drop in.  I do remember your stories of that coworker.  I don't think I would be able to keep my mouth shut in that situation.  That's great you won't have to deal with her anymore.   

 

Milkshake - I'm sorry.  It's so hard when it seems everyone around you has what you want.  I'm glad your SIL was sensitive about it.  

 

monkey - I hope you get your positive OPK, but don't worry too much about the shot if you do have to have it.  It sounds like you found someone else to do it for you, and the receiving is easy.  

 

SweetBee - I hope the early ovulation is a good sign for you.  Good luck.  

 

AFM - I've stopped the progesterone, so just waiting for AF to show so I can start another cycle.  I do have some good news, but unfortunately not fertility related.   I passed my final driver's test yesterday.  We have graduated licensing, and the license I had before already allowed me to drive alone.  So it doesn't make a difference in day to day life at all, but it means I am completely done with road tests, which is a big stress relief.  (No I am not 16, it really did take me over 10 years to get this done.  I live in a big city with good transit, so practicing wasn't a priority at all until the last few years.) 

 

Also, April is almost over.  Does anyone want to volunteer to take the thread for May?  If no one volunteers before May 1, I will make another thread.  

post #179 of 205

Hi Beloved - just had to respond. Everybody who has done IVF wasted $25,000, plus all the time and pain. Just think, we could have just taken a yoga class to relax and all of your problems would just go away. Ugh. I want to strangle her.

 

Monkey - seriously, once you have done a few shots, it is not that scary. I was freaked out to do it... seriously freaked out. You can do it, and survive. I actually fely a big sense of accomplishment after I did it, because it was not something that I thought I could do.

post #180 of 205
Quote:
Originally Posted by BelovedK View Post

Just popping in to say hello. I just read 4+ pages, so I can't keep up with personals.

I don't know if anyone remembers me, let alone my rants about my coworker. Well, she is preggo, and showing and in maternity clothes from the get go. She is a bit overweight and she is just really looking preggo now. I could handle that, but what I can't handle is her condescending talk about others on their fertility journey. She was talking before about this woman she knows who is going through her "pregnancy midlife crisis" knowing full well that I am in my 40s.

She has gone on and on about a friend (with another mutual "friend") who has had trouble conceiving and is going to a RE and doing injections and I think going on to IVF. They were rolling their eyes and saying that if they had been meant to have a baby, they would be pregnant, and they are trying too hard, probably if they stressed less, they would just get pregnant, but they had better get over it (get the idea?)

This is the same woman who told me down's syndrome stats for women my age when she knew we were trying.

I also have to hear about the day to day agonies of her pregnancy and the nausea complaints and I could go on and on URGH! angry.gif

Well, it is not the only reason, but a huge contributing factor in my decision to leave that job. I can't work around her. I find myself tense just to see her. I mean, who would roll their eyes at a woman who is going through IVF ???!!!???


I know I don't post much any more, and I see a lot of new faces. I haven't even been lurking much anymore. I just peek in from time to time. I just really needed to vent about this woman and there is no one in my life who "gets it" like you BSL ladies <3

Beloved... just keep chanting to yourself "I can't hit a pregnant lady...can't hit a pregnant lady..." I have totally been there. In fact, just this weekend I had a situation where I had to walk away because the ignorance was making my eye twitch.
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