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April showers bring June babies!****April Chat Thread!!***** - Page 12

post #221 of 367
Quote:
Originally Posted by Smokering View Post

 

I get that. Do they visit often? If your area is unfamiliar/exciting to them, maybe you (or better yet, DH) could suggest a few day or half-day trips they could take while they're over. "Moppet and I will just be resting today and won't be much fun, so would you guys like to go visit our cool cinema/zoo/parks/art gallery/market?". That would give you some holing-up time.

 

I'm a bit compulsive about hostessing as well; I always feel supremely guilty if someone comes over and I don't have homebaked goodies to offer them. I guess I should make some loaves or biscuits and freeze 'em for postpartum visitors. That's actually one reason I want to do the birth centre thing instead of HBing this time around - I won't feel bad about not getting people cups of tea and cake at the birth centre, because they won't expect it. :p (Plus, a lot of people are more comfortable visiting a BC than a HB right after a baby's born, I notice, so I can get a bunch of newborn visits out of the way while I'm in a pretty, clean environment that wasn't cleaned by me!)

 

In other news: we have two birth centres in my city, plus the hospital, all of which are about a 10 minute drive from our house. I had DD at the hospital, but transferred to birthing centre A afterwards for two days. I've heard heaps of people say they preferred it to birthing centre B, but we were going to go with centre B this time because they have double beds. At centre A, DH had to sleep on this uncomfy narrow window seat thing, which wasn't ideal. Fortunately, my MW mentioned yesterday that centre A has phased that out and now has proper double beds too! Yay. :) It has much nicer birthing tubs - a big proper spa-like one, not just narrow baths - and apparently the food and staff are nicer, so I'm happy to go there.

 

It's also slightly closer. Am I totally crazy to be thinking it would be cool to walk to the birth centre in labour? It'd have to be at a quiet time of day (or night), because you have to cross a main street to get there and I don't want rush-hour traffic to be gawking at the pregnant woman clutching the traffic light pole and swaying. :p But if it were, like, 8PM and I was coping OK with labour, I think it might be kinda nice. Ehh, probably won't happen; it's probably the same delusion as when I planned to bake bread during DD's birth. (I couldn't have anyway, being in hospital and all, but yeah - the way I was feeling, there's no way I would have been up to making bread!)


I am still giggling about you serving tea after the birth. That's exactly what I mean though, I just worry that I'm going to spend the whole visit feeling bad that I'm not being Martha Stewart.

Interesting that they let you stay so long at the birth center. All the ones I know of around here send you home after a few hours.

How long would it take you to walk? It could be good, but if it's really long you don't want to get stuck halfway and give birth while swaying against that traffic pole. LOL.

Sarah, I love the dress! Count me in with the halter strap crew, mostly because I like having something that helps me keep "the girls" up. Otherwise I yank at it all the time.

Had my first round of heartburn last night. I guess that Indian curry wasn't a good idea an hour before bed. But it was soooooooo tasty. Anyone else having lower back pain/pressure? It's been about two days now for me and I'm getting kind of miserable. I need to make a chiro appointment I think.
post #222 of 367

That dress is adorable!!! Your belly is cute too!! orngbiggrin.gif

 

I'm sorry to hear about your ankle Tracy, that sucks! Pregnant women should be exempt from getting injuries, seriously. I hope it heals up quickly!

 

It looks like I have just one day left of work. biggrinbounce.gifI told my boss today and he took it well, way better than I expected. There's a new girl wanting more shifts so it should work out ok. I'm so relieved! My pelvis hurts so much that I'm shuffling around like an 80 year old woman.

 

 

post #223 of 367

 

Quote:
Luckily,  it is my left foot so I can still drive and sew.

LOL! That's the spirit. As long as you can still sew! :p

 

Busyish day today - have to go to the library, sewing shop, supermarket and health food store in town with DD (on the bus, because I can't face parking!), and then tonight Mum's coming over to eat fettucine carbonara and watch The Painted Veil. Should be fun.

post #224 of 367


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Smokering View Post

I know, right? Intellectually I think she's probably being way overcautious. Unfortunately, my intellect isn't necessarily ruling the roost these days. :p It doesn't take much to send me into a fit of depression.

 

The baby was vertex and anterior at both measurements, so I can't blame it on positioning (although I guess there could still have been subtle differences?). She did say that using a different tape measure could yield different results, though - she forgot hers today and had to use my sewing one.

 

I miss my old midwife! I don't dislike this current one, but my previous MW and I really clicked. And I suspect she would have been a bit more zen about this fundal height thing.


I had the same issue a  week ago and my baby was actually measuring bigger than the 29 weeks, when I was measuring 26 cm. The peri at the ultrasound explained to me that postion of baby can make a big  difference and fundal height is no an exact science!

 

post #225 of 367

Today is DH's birthday and our 5 year anniversary! DS and I made cupcakes. I think we're going to order pizza and watch movies tonight. We're going out for a bit tomorrow kid-free.

post #226 of 367

Happy anniversary! Some kid-free time sounds great!

 

My pelvis is achey too. I feel like at any moment the whole things is going to fall apart. I should really really go back to regular chiro visits. It just gets to be a lot to go 2x a week with everything else going on.  

 

I'm 32w today. I spent all day making Cascarones. I'm not into picking up confetti so they'll be filled with mostly bird seed. 

post #227 of 367
Thread Starter 

Happy anniversary BBM!  Enjoy your grown up time tomorrow!  

 

Snowflake, enjoy your time off!!  That is so exciting! And I totally agree - all pregnant women should not be able to have silly injuries like sprained ankles and broken fingers and all those little things.  I am in enough discomfort as it is!! Stupid ankle!!  But, I do have to say it is not nearly as bad as some of my past sprains so I really shouldn't complain.

 

Well, I made a big girl decision recently and am starting to feel at peace with it.  After no communication in over 2 months at all, I have decided that I am going to sever all ties with my parents.  For 30 years we have been at odds and though we have periods of normalcy, they truly have been few and far between.  My mother suffers from bipolar and refuses to take meds, my father is nothing but an enabler and, as an only child,  I have always been the only one who takes the abuse.  My mother is a hateful, mean woman who does absolutely nothing to help herself and never has and I am so damn sick and tired of bearing the brunt of her insanity.  Over the course of my adulthood, she has caused me more pain than any daughter should have to endure, and I am finally ready to say goodbye for good.  I am not going to make an announcement or anything, but I know that at some point before this baby is born one of them will call or email me and expect me to pretend that everything is just fine and so what that nobody gives a crap enough about me or my kids to give a call since January... (even though I have emailed and left messages).  Well, not this time.  It is not fine - it never has been - and when one of them finally does reach out, I am going to simply and calmly explain that I am done and I wish them well.  Period.  

 

Ahhhhhh, sigh...... that felt good to say.  Dh and I have discussed this at great length, but I haven't really talked to anyone else about it.  There is years of backstory here and I could tell you things that would make your head spin - but that is the general idea.  I really do think I am making the right decision, hard as it is.

 

Happy weekend everyone!  I will be cleaning and cooking for passover.  I love the holiday but I hate eating nothing but matzoh for a week.  Talk about constipating! Yikes!

 

 

post #228 of 367


Huge hugs, Tracymom.

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by tracymom1 View Post

Well, I made a big girl decision recently and am starting to feel at peace with it.  After no communication in over 2 months at all, I have decided that I am going to sever all ties with my parents. 


 

post #229 of 367


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by tracymom1 View Post

Happy anniversary BBM!  Enjoy your grown up time tomorrow!  

 

Snowflake, enjoy your time off!!  That is so exciting! And I totally agree - all pregnant women should not be able to have silly injuries like sprained ankles and broken fingers and all those little things.  I am in enough discomfort as it is!! Stupid ankle!!  But, I do have to say it is not nearly as bad as some of my past sprains so I really shouldn't complain.

 

Well, I made a big girl decision recently and am starting to feel at peace with it.  After no communication in over 2 months at all, I have decided that I am going to sever all ties with my parents.  For 30 years we have been at odds and though we have periods of normalcy, they truly have been few and far between.  My mother suffers from bipolar and refuses to take meds, my father is nothing but an enabler and, as an only child,  I have always been the only one who takes the abuse.  My mother is a hateful, mean woman who does absolutely nothing to help herself and never has and I am so damn sick and tired of bearing the brunt of her insanity.  Over the course of my adulthood, she has caused me more pain than any daughter should have to endure, and I am finally ready to say goodbye for good.  I am not going to make an announcement or anything, but I know that at some point before this baby is born one of them will call or email me and expect me to pretend that everything is just fine and so what that nobody gives a crap enough about me or my kids to give a call since January... (even though I have emailed and left messages).  Well, not this time.  It is not fine - it never has been - and when one of them finally does reach out, I am going to simply and calmly explain that I am done and I wish them well.  Period.  

 

Ahhhhhh, sigh...... that felt good to say.  Dh and I have discussed this at great length, but I haven't really talked to anyone else about it.  There is years of backstory here and I could tell you things that would make your head spin - but that is the general idea.  I really do think I am making the right decision, hard as it is.

 

Happy weekend everyone!  I will be cleaning and cooking for passover.  I love the holiday but I hate eating nothing but matzoh for a week.  Talk about constipating! Yikes!

 

 

Its hard severing ties with family, but when its toxic its usually for the best :) We basically gave MIL an ultimatum of keep your opinions to yourself about our life choices or else we're done and she chose the we're done way. Which is fine by me!

 

So since I'm crazy... we are now the new owners of not 1 but 2 puppies 2whistle.gif We've been looking to get one, but nothing ever struck us as right. A friend messaged me today that she had rescued a litter from some neighbors that weren't taking care of them and they needed homes. So we went and checked them out and I fell in love luxlove.gif They are SOOOOO tiny (they estimated they are 6-8 weeks old which left me squeamish, but because of the previous living conditions I know we can take care of them much better than they were being taken care of!) Some sort of chihuahua mix. Thankfully they are eating well on their own and do pretty well cuing you if they have to potty. The kids went NUTS when they saw them so I think it'll be good. Our last dog died unexpectedly about 8 months ago and left them pretty sad. I'm off to do puppy training research!
 

 

post #230 of 367

Aw, super hugs, Tracymom. I can relate. My father is bipolar, on and off meds, suicide attempts, the like. After spending half my pregnancy with DS fielding emails from a concerned stranger in Costa Rica, where my father decided to move randomly and stop taking his meds yet again (super long, ridiculous story), I was done. He's seen DS one time, at my brother's wedding. We did not speak. It's a crazy situation, but I know my whole family is better off not having a relationship with him. I can't involve my son in that sort of mayhem. No one needs that sort of grandparent. I wish you peace in your journey with this. A great book that I'm in the process of reading is Giving the Love that Heals. It's about parenting, but talks a lot about the way you were parented and healing from that. I'm finding it very helpful. (It's not a mental health book at all, but does resonate with me having had wacky parents.)

post #231 of 367

Tracy - I'm so sorry to you're in that position, but I totally understand. It's tough, but sometimes it's better to have certain people out of your life. hug2.gif

 

Sarah Lynne - I wanna see pics!! They sound adorable!

post #232 of 367

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We (i.e. Me lol) decided to name them Marley and Lilo.  Marley just because it was literally the first name I thought that seemed to fit (for the larger pup) and then Lilo is a mash (Little Little One) because she is the runt of the litter :) I'm working hard to break their mindset of going potty in their bed (because they were cooped up in a shipping crate and that's where they were left greensad.gif.) They are doing pretty good as long as I remember to watch every hour and a half or so and see if they are stirring and take them to their potty place. I think litter training is going to be best for us, because with their size I worry about them getting picked up by the birds of prey around here (lost a chicken that way!) Not to mention snakes.

post #233 of 367

Oh those puppies are so sweet!   

 

Sorry about your family Tracymom, but I hope it brings you peace.

post #234 of 367
Thread Starter 

OMG, cutest little puppies ever!!  Thanks for sharing the pictures love.gif

 

BaldBullsMama - thanks for the info - I am going to order the book from the library.  My dad has managed to keep my mom out of harms way for years - in fact, he has been able to pretty much conceal her condition from the rest of the family.  Everyone thinks I am the "bad guy" all of the time because she appears to be an angel.  Whenever she is having a bad episode, they avoid interacting with anyone and for a long, long, time this has 'worked' for them.  I can't be a part of the vicious cycle anymore - it is too hurtful for me and I don't want my kids exposed to it.

 

 

post #235 of 367
Those puppies are precious, love that pic of your youngest with one. My dogs are a little rambunctious, I am very curious to see how they will be with our LO. I think it's awesome for kids to have pets and be around animals.

Tracy, totally supporting your decision! My relationship with both of my parents has been a little wacky too, and there were periods for my own mental health I decided to not have contact with either one of them. Nothing as severe as yours, although a part of me suspects my mother is bipolar. Sometimes, you just have to prioritize your own sanity and emotional wellbeing over making toxic family members happy, which is an impossible task anyway. I know it can't have been an easy decision, but I really hope it brings you continued peace.
post #236 of 367
Busy bee today, it appears I have finally caught the nesting bug. It may also be partly inspired by the fact that my MIL is going to be here in less than a week for my shower, which may be just the kick in the pants I have needed.

Found out there is a way, if I want it, to afford both the birth pool and a doula. I hadn't really considered a doula that seriously because it seemed like with all the birth related expenditures that were mandatory, that a doula wasn't in the cards. Anyway, we're meeting sometime next week to see how it goes. I'm sort of curious how a doula will work with also doing Hypnobabies, and I also know hubby is the person that comforts me most and that I see myself leaning on during the birth, so I still really don't know how having one will benefit me (other than the one I'm looking at brings her tub and does setup and cleanup of it, which made DH's eyes light up.) So far we have only exchanged emails, but inasmuch as it is possible to get a good vibe about someone via email, I have one.

Anyone else going to have a doula?
post #237 of 367
Thread Starter 

I think I am going to have a doula - one of my friends just finished up her training with CBI and has offered to be of service to us pro bono - which is just lovely!  We are planning a UC with just me and DH, so having an extra set of hands will be welcome.  

 

How has everyone's weekend been?  I have spent most of my time cleaning for passover.  I had the wonderful opportunity to connect with an old friend this morning (one of the reasons I stick with facebook even though it ticks me off) and it turns out her son is the same age as my DS - playdate Thursday! Yay! DS is shy and has a hard time in groups, so I think this one on one thing, here at our house, will be a lot less pressure for him and might work out well.

 

 

post #238 of 367

Sarah Lynne - those pups are ADORABLE! So tiny!! Thanks so much for sharing pics.

 

Moppet - we're not going to have a doula. To be honest I haven't given it much thought seeing as money's so tight.

 

Tracy - that's wonderful about your friend! I hope the play date goes well. Do let us know how it goes.

 

My weekend has been pretty uneventful. Basically just resting after messing up my pelvis at work on Friday. Yesterday I could barely walk, but I feel so much better today. That gives me some hope that the rest of this pregnancy won't be so bad after all, as long as I continue to take it easy.

 

I talked to my BFF in Australia this morning. She was inviting me to her wedding in October. I want to go so badly - I haven't been back in over 6 years and I desperately want to see my family & friends and show DH & the kids where I come from. They've never been there, and haven't met any of my family except my mother. Too bad plane tickets are so expensive! (We live in Europe.) I'm wondering whether we should just suck it up and get a loan or something. It's been way too long.

post #239 of 367

Have any of you read this? So lovely. 

 

https://www.himalayaninstitute.org/YI/article.aspx?id=3928

 

(sorry to interject w/o participating, on the move!)

post #240 of 367

Moppet, I'm having a doula and doing Hypnobabies. The amazing homebirth I attended last week was Hypnobabies with a doula as well. For me, the doula is a friend who just took the training and needs to get in her 3 births for certification. Most doulas do those births for free, so if you're only skipping a doula for financial reasons, I'd contact the people who do classes/license doulas in your area and see if they know of any new doulas who need births to certify.

 

My doula knows I'm using Hypnobabies. She has a copy of the birth partner guide and has listened to some CDs. She's working on the language changes (birthing time, pressure waves). At the birth I attended, the doula helped a lot with positioning. The mom was very calm through all of her pressure waves. The doula would ask how she was feeling in a particular position, Oh, you're back hurts, let's move like this. She suggested getting in to the birth pool, brought cool cloths, things like that.

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