Christy, I'm thinking about you...
Queer and Pregnant: April, May, and June - Page 9
You ladies have helped get me through once again! Let me just start by saying...WE HAVE A HEARTBEAT! You can only imagine the tears I shed when I saw that little thing going crazy at first sight. I went in this morning (scared to death, I might add) for my u/s. The little bean is looking good, and the heartbeat was 104. (The doc said they want at least 85.) The heart looked bigger than the baby itself!!! The heart measured 1.9mm, but in full force and it's age-wise it's 5w4d. The sac looks strong and is measuring 6w4d.
I also did find out the cause of the bleed. It appears as though my uterus has a tear/bleed right next to the sac. The doctor on staff was MUCH better than the jackhole I spoke with yesterday. He sat down and talked to me for a long time, answered all my questions, and was very helpful. (My normal OB was out on an emergency, so he filled in for her this morning.) Anyway, the tear seems to have been caused by implantation or from the placenta burrowing its way into the uterine wall. He said sometimes the placenta/implantation will attach near a blood vessel, which causes the bleeding. Most of the time the body will absorb the blood or it bleeds out vaginally as in my case. He felt like the area will heal itself over the course of the next few weeks. There's a chance I could bleed another time or two, but fingers crossed I won't! After seeing the heartbeat, he decided a beta wasn't necessary.
Now...the funny news. This doctor felt it was in my best interest to be on semi bed rest. And as he put it "no physical activity, no lifting, gets lots of rest, and no intercourse...um, well, you know what I mean in your case." Ha!!! Poor guy. I loved that he remembered I have a DP, and not a husband. It was priceless. His face turned red and we both had a good laugh.
Escher - Fainting. Yikes! Feel better, and no more passing out.
Wehrli - How are you guys doing? Are you adjusted? How's Silas? I hope you guys weren't affected by the weather up there. I heard it was pretty bad north of you.
Library - How are you momma? Been thinking about you gals.
Seraf - Poor Sara and the Chinese food! She's totally preggo, and gonna be joining us all soon. I couldn't look at anything or read a sign without boo-hooing! I am a *little* better. Ha! And lucky for me, no driving to Nashville today. I was able to go to my regular OB for my u/s today, which was a huge relief. I go in for my last RE appt on Monday, and she'll release me to my OB here in Memphis. We've spent a fortune over the last four months in gas driving back and forth, so it will be nice not having to go 3 hours for an appt.
Julie - Glad to hear the brother took it well. Hopefully the parents did as well. I can somewhat related. My mom hasn't always been the most comfortable one to talk about my lifestyle, but she's not against it either. I think there's mostly an embarrassment factor with her friends/co-workers. She's totally fine with family now. Plus, they live in ass backwards small town West Virginia where the work 'progressive' doesn't exist.
Im off to take a nap before the tornado sirens go off and I head for laying under the stairs. Hope everyone is doing well!
Christy: YAY for a heartbeat! That's fantastic! And it must be really good to have an answer about the bleeding. I hope it lets up and that you are able to enjoy the extra rest. Since your DP is out of town anyway, you probably won't miss the intercourse--oh, I mean, whatever it is that you ladies do in bed.
Escher: Ugh for fainting. Not fun! I hope the hydration, protein, and vitamin D suggestions are helpful.
Bttrfly: Happy EDD Day! Good luck to you with the birth! So exciting. Looking forward to your news when the time comes.
Julie: How did it go with DP's mom? Such painful stuff. Hugs to you both.
AFM: Back home. Great to be with DD and DP, though I got home late last night and am on campus for a full 12 hours today. I have no idea how I'm going to stay awake for my evening class...except that we are discussing Cejae's fabulous book! If you want to know what it is, you'll have to PM her (she is protecting her privacy here). So that should keep me awake, for sure .
Christy ... Thank Goddess for a heartbeat! Wonderful news. And I'm so glad that you have a cause. So much about pregnancy is a mystery, and when the scary stuff happens, I know the urge for an explanation is almost more important than the symptoms themselves. I'm so happy for you.
Julie ... Thinking of you and your partner. How very hard to be giving such wonderful news, and no knowing what the reaction will be.
Escher ... Fainting! How Victorian and dramatic! You'll need to start wearing restrictive bone corsets and floor length gowns! And carry a lace handkerchief so that you can drape it across your brown when you feel a spell coming on. And your partner can wave smelling salts under your powdered nose with a particular flare. Seriously though, I do hope it resolves. Anemic? taking Floradix? I love that stuff. I could drink it by the gallon.
Seraf ... When can we expect to see your DP over here?
AFM: Still barfing. WTF? I'm 14w 4d and still barfing. My two year old thinks it's hilarious. I do not. I really wish I could feel the baby move. It's so long between appointments and hearing the heartbeat! Barfing and round ligament pain should be reassurance enough, but no. It's not.
AHope, glad you are back home with your loves... Enjoy your class discussing cejae's book.
Starling, hoping you start feeling some flutters soon... I would swear I felt movement by 12 weeks, it could happen any day now!
AFM, I'm starting to feel better, getting back to my old self. DP took the staples out today (per dr instructions) so that feels better. We can't believe Silas is already 1 week old! He is such a good baby. Hardly fusses, cries or complains. He's still nursing like a pro (except for some episodes of "nursing like a jerk" when his diaper is wet). I think I'm gonna go to a LLL meeting tomorrow to meet some ppl, if for nothing else.
JulieTea - Sorry you're going through hard family stuff. I know a lot of us have probably been there, and it is just such a wretched feeling. I'm sure all of us are right there with you right now.
Christy - that's great that you got an answer, and a better doctor. I think too often HCPs treat the pregnant body as too esoteric to try to figure out, and take a wait and see approach instead of looking for the source of what's going on.
Escher - for whatever reason, I've heard sudden blood pressure drops are pretty common, especially in first trimester. Normal, but no fun! Take good care of yourself.
Starling, I've only got mediums and bigger. It's such a jumbly hodgepodge that I think I'm going to keep the gDiapers for myself, and put the rest up on CL for free. Are you taking the Diclectin option, or no?
AFM: I'm having a wicked espresso craving, and I live on a street with many excellent Italian cafes. To give in or not to give in... Finally did pregnancy photos this weekend, though they're all NSFW. Thinking of doing some more this week under the cherry blossoms, with clothes on this time! I've completely refused to have my picture taken up until now, which is driving friends and family crazy.
imogen ... thanks for checking! And no, haven't done Diclectin yet. I'm taking tonnes of ginger, though. I'm so wary of meds when pregnant, which, in this case, might be a detriment to me. As for the espresso, you're so right. We live in Awesome Coffee Central! The thought of anything hot to drink makes me nauseous though, so I'm saving tonnes of money not stepping foot into Continental or Little Nest or Turks.
wehrli ... Congrats on Silas's one week birthday! I'm glad that you're starting to feel better. I thought I felt some flutters last night, but I'm too busy second-guessing myself to enjoy the possibility.
Good morning ladies
Library- I can't wait to see more pictures! Esp of that red hair!!! I am sure you are just loving and adoring your little family right now. Congrats.
Wehrli- Cute kid!! Chels is hoping Harrison comes out with hair just like that! Lennon was blond so we will see! I am glad he is a good nurser, isn't it the best?
Starling: Ugh vomit, I am so sorry. Hopefully by 20 weeks it will be gone?!
Christy- Yay!!Isn't seeing the heartbeat the best?!
Seraf: When is Sara testing? That was my "I am so preggo sign" I was at the library reading a book to lennon and it made me bawl my eyes out. I can't wait to find out if she is expecting! How are you feeling about her being pregnant withyou? Getting nervous yet?
Imogen: Coooffffeeee I gave it up for this pregnancy. I miss it, drink one for me would ya?
AFM: Had the best weekend. It was amazing. I felt so close to my lady and we had some amazing sex that didn't involve cramping or pain. (thanks to your suggestions!) Seriously though she kept saying "this is what your friends on your forum said to do"bahahahaha
Met with midwife yesterday and discussed labor and my requests, I love her although she is really really skinny which doesn't help my chagrin at my weight gain.Ooops
Starting craving chocolate soy milk, thank god SOMETHING healthy!
Christy - huge sigh of relief! I'm sorry you've had to deal with the worry and anxiety, but I'm glad it's good news - and yay heartbeat! I told DP your good news last night, and she busted out the veggie dance.
Starling - hang in there! My last pukey bout was on Valentine's day (so much for that romantic dinner!), so 16w2d (if you don't count the occasional brushing-teeth-and-dry-heaving episode, but those haven't happened in about a month). Here's to flutters!
Imogen - maybe a decaf espresso? I'm sipping a decaf latte right now. That keeps me well under the caffeine limit (20mg caffeine, tops, and midwife says 100 mg is fine, others say 200 is) without going CRAZY. Photos under the cherry blossoms sound delightful!
wehrli - Silas is A-DOR-A-BLE. I love that hair. And the name! It's on our shortlist.
AmandaHope - how was the book discussion?
Escher - agh, fainting! I hope you've haven't fallen (or have had soft landings). Can you tell it's coming, and sit down to protect yourself? I hope this phase passes quickly - 12 weeks is around the corner!
bttrflygypsy - how are you doing? Any signs that babe ready to debut?
julietea - how did it go? DP's parents are similarly minded, and did not react well at first (largely blaming me for dragging their daughter into the expensive biz of parenthood, assuming it was all my crazy idea and I'd coerced her into it...???!!). DP made her feelings/role clear, and they've already shaped up--and will hopefully be fully on board when they meet the little guy.
Library - I hope all is well, and you and DP are enjoying little Alice. We miss you!
Seraf - saw Sara's BFN news on QC. 10DPO is super early, but those BFNs are rough, regardless of when. I still say she sounds knocked up! Hope you're both hanging in there. And thanks a TON for your wisdom on those early baby days and BFing. I took copious notes.
QOTD: When should movement start to become really regular? I'm just over 24 weeks, and have an anterior placenta, so I'm not sure what's to be expected. But our little dude will have a super active day (where there a good hour or two of solid movement/dance party in the morning, and another hour or two in the evening, with sporatic movement in between that), then a string of quiet days. When he does kick, it's unmistakable and strong - I've already seen my belly quake, which I didn't think would happen until much later. But yesterday, he wasn't his wiggly self in the 9 pm hour, which worried DP and me enough (couldn't recall the last time I felt him kick) that we poked and prodded until we got a solid kick out of him. And he was doing flips when I woke up this morning. I've only really been feeling kicks for a few weeks (flutters for a few weeks before that), and this is our first, so I'm not sure if this erratic activity is normal or not - or at what point I'll regret even asking this question, because he'll be nonstop kicking me in the ribs and bladder! :) I plan to ask the midwife about this on Thursday, but would love to hear from other mamas.
In other news, we've started to receive piles of second-hand baby gear from generous friends. There's a carseat, bouncy seat, bassinet, stroller, pack'n'play, bags of clothes and more in the soon-to-be-baby's room. It's both exciting, and terrifying! Just a few months to go...
Amy: I have an anterior placenta too and i feel him everyday but not nearly as much as I did with Lennon. I can see him kicking some days like crazy and others I guess he is just kicking my placenta cause it feels more like flutters (which is unusual for 6 months in) My MW said not to do kick sounts til about 30 weeks because they won't be accurate. The anterior placenta drive me and Chels CRAZY!!! Belly pic??!!! Please!!
Amy: It did end up being a decaf latte! And I'll second what Mizyellow is saying about the movement.
Mizyellow: I've tried to seriously decrease my consumption. It's tough! DP is a roaster for an organic, fair trade coffee company, so we have unlimited free coffee.
Starling: Hang in there! I couldn't look at tomatoes or coffee for the first 15 weeks. I also found the 14-20 week stretch between appointments (where I was still barfing) pretty brutal, but then there was the detailed scan. So uplifting! How long did you stay at work last time? Is the lifting ok?
Seraf: Are you doing another test this cycle, or are you waiting until next cycle to test again? Let us know how it goes!
Canadians, generally: Any idea if we're supposed to feed our midwives at a homebirth? I keep reading on MDC that it's homebirth etiquette to feed your MWs. I feel like maybe this is different in the States where people privately arrange their midwives. In Canada it's covered by MSP, so it's kind of more like feeding your OB, which is weird. Should I have something ready to go? DP will probably just order a pizza or something, unless I decide I can't handle the smell. I wonder if they're too crunchy for pizza. I'm overthinking, obviously. I may crosspost to the Canada tribe.
Has anyone noticed that gender roles are articulated differently in their relationship since they've been pregnant? I used to be the primary income earner, and now I spend most of my day doing domestic stuff, because I'm home and it needs doing, and there's not much else to do. I think we used to switch back and forth being the more nurturing one, possibly with me doing slightly more because I'm a social worker and it's my job to get people to talk about their feelings. Since I've been pregnant and cranky, occasionally weepy, pukey, or sore, the balance has really shifted to DP doing the nurturing.
Wehrli: I'm glad that you're starting to feel better. Silas sounds like an amazing baby! It's interesting to consider that the fainting could be related to low vitamin D. I last had my vitamin D level checked in November. It was low then, but I've been supplementing heavily since then with Carlson Ddrops, so I've been guessing that my level is now ok. I should probably get that checked again. I'll talk to my midwives about it at my next appointment. Thanks for the suggestion!
Imogenlily: For us I don't feel like it is gender roles specifically that are changing, but I've definitely noticed my wife having to do WAY more of the care taking in our relationship lately. I prefer when it is more balanced, and I hope it will be more equal again soon.
Amy: It's exciting that you're feeling big kicks now, although I'm sorry that they are not consistently reassuring. It's exciting that you're getting so much baby gear! I can often but not always realize that I am about to faint in time to protect myself, but if I don't get my head down fast enough I do unfortunately fall.. It's very embarrassing. And it hurts when I bump my head! It is certainly good motivation to stay hydrated and eat as well as possible. Thanks for noticing that I'm almost at 12 weeks. I'm very excited about that!
Mizyellow: Yum--chocolate soymilk sounds good!
Starling: I'm sorry you're still feeling so sick! That's no fun at all. I hope you feel better soon! I wonder if I'm anemic. I'll see if I can get that checked. Thanks for the suggestion!
AmandaHope: Hooray for being home! I bet your DD and DP are thrilled to see you.
2ez: Hooray for good news! I'm so glad.
AFM: This is now my third day in a row with no fainting, so hopefully that was just an unusual occurrence that isn't going to happen again. We're planning to start telling some more people (my parents, siblings, etc.) at 12 weeks, and it is hard to believe that is coming up in just a few days. Eek!
Amy ... An anterior placenta is the worrying preggo mama's bane! I didn't have one with dd, but I do know several people who do/have had one and they say the exact same thing as you.
Imogen, I had a decaf latte yesterday too, outside in the sunshine on the Drive! And as for feeding the midwives, yes, I think it is most definitely the done thing. Or maybe I'm just saying that because DP is a chef, so we had quite the spread planned for last time, and when we ended up in the hospital, I felt terrible that I had nothing to offer them. But perhaps that is because we're foodies and can't imagine not feeding them. Even something like having a pot of stew, or toast and pb or cheese and crackers set out, just in case. I certainly don't think it's an expectation, and neither is a gift, either, I think. I couldn't manifest a thank you gift last time, what with being a mess after the birth and dealing with low supply issues all on our lonesome three hours from the city, so I decided not to give something without meaning, and that I'd give them something if an idea struck or resounded. It never did. So, no present. I still feel kind of bad about that.
escher, when are you 12 weeks, exactly? That is SUCH a huge milestone. The Oct ddc had a debate about when the second trimester actually starts, and I carefully avoided the conversation because I like to think it begins at week 12. So yay for second trimester!
mizyellow ... Yee haw for a hot weekend! And for craving something healthy. All I want to eat is Vietnamese salad rolls with copious amounts of peanut sauce. Yum.
AFM: Imogen, you asked about work, and it's okay, but I'm not getting enough shifts to beef up my maternity leave pay. That part royally sucks. This is mostly because of childcare. DD has only ever been looked after by me, DP, my sister, and my mom. My mom is off galavanting around Scotland as a tour guide, and my sister just got an insane job with the census that demands she be at their beck and call until the end of July. So no childcare. DP and I talked about having someone come in for those few months left, if I make it that long. I'm working both my DP's days off, but that's just not going to do any good for my EI. Last time I worked until about 27 weeks, and then was off for 62 weeks. I had wanted to make it to the end of July, but I doubt I will. The lifting is okay, but there is just so much risk and exposure and unpredictable environments. And my belly is only getting bigger. As for hiring childcare, there is one super cool punk rock nanny who wants to work for us. We see her all the time at the same kid things, and DD a-d-o-r-e-s her and talks about her all the time, so we might do that. Both DP and I don't want to leave DD with anyone other than us four women family members until she's able to articulate without a doubt her experience while out of our care. But we might have to expand the posse to include DD's crush (punk rock nanny).
Hello everyone!!! I've been missing you all but have had not one moment to be online at all. Alice is a fabulous handful, of course, and my mom has been here, which has been very helpful (DP's had to go back to work) but she requires attention of her own. But now we're on or own, just us three, and it's really very nice. Alice has slept all day and is now making faces at DP which is adorable. I've got some pix on the facebook, so I'll include a link. She's just so cute and fun~ I keep crying because I love her so much.
I'm probably not going to remember everything I read for personals but for sure I have to say YAY FOR CHRISTY!!!!!!!!!!!! I've been very worried about you and your bleeding and I'm SO HAPPY about the heartbeat and the good news and not having to deal with the jerkface doc.
Wehrli~ Silas is prosh!! All that hair!!!! Wish we could have a playdate x
And to whomever was asking about ContractionMaster, we totally used that. DP found it online and then Thursday night when the contractions were starting, I put the laptop on the bed between me and DP so that she could snooze and I was able to monitor what was going on. It wasn't contractions that sent us to the hospital, though. I thought my water had broken and had to get the antibiotics for the strep crap. It turned out to be my mucous plug I'd been seeing (they broke the water bag on purpose 2 1/2 hours into the pushing hoping to move it along) but it was real labor anyways, so it worked out for the best.
Love to all whom I'm neglecting. Hopefully I'll be more regular in my participation and can catch up. Still excited about everyone else xoxo
Here are the photos:
Library: So good to hear from you! Sadly, the facebook link isn't working, possibly because the pics are on Penny's page? How is the nursing going? And what do you mean by a handful? The usual eat-poop-sleep chaos, or is she crying a lot or having digestive issues (hope not)? It must feel good to have some space for just the three of you. Three!
Starling: Personally, I'd try the punk nanny; can you get references to help you feel more comfortable? Or, if you can do without the higher salary while on leave, it might be nice not to have to work more shifts, given the lifting, exposure, etc.
Amy: We're both at 24 weeks, right? I still feel movement in pretty erratic ways--some days and times much more than others, and my placenta is above her, not anterior. I think this is normal. The only time I always feel her moving around is first thing in the morning and at bedtime. Last night, she was bouncing around at 5am, which didn't help with my periodic pregnancy insomnia, but it was sweet, anyway.
MizYellow: Awesome for the successful weekend! Your DP sounds adorable (and fun).
Escher: Hooray for nearly 12 weeks! It will be so exciting to tell family and friends. And I'm relieved to hear that you haven't been fainting lately--hopefully it will stay that way. I really do worry about your head and about falling.
Imogen: Can't wait to see the belly pics that are fit to share (good for you for doing the nude ones, though!). Are you happy with how they turned out? As for coffee, I started drinking one cup a day (max) around 16 weeks. I love it. My sister-in-law, who drank a cup/day throughout the second and third tri and who is a big coffee drinker has had to cut it out completely (even decaf!!) because her newborn gets indigestion.
AFM: Got through my toughest two work days of the week. The discussion of Cejae's book was one of the best of the semester. Time to eat!
Imogenlily, my DD was born at home (in Vancouver) and we bought a ton of food more for our doula than the midwives as we knew she would be with us longer than the midwife likely! My labour was fairly quick and our midwife didn't show up until active labour and then I started pushing soon after so no time for her to eat anyway (she may have eaten after but I'm not sure). Our doula did go have something to eat at some point during labour though I remember. We did bagels, stuff to put on them, lots of fresh fruit and veggies/dips (we're veg. so didn't have any meat). More easy, quick to prepare snack food. We didn't want anything on the stove or in the oven unattended so it was all cold stuff. Oh, and DP offered to go prepare it for people but they all said no and just went and helped themselves.
Escher, if it makes you feel any better, I almost passed out yesterday at work. I had what I would call dizzy spells all through my pregnancy with Ari, but I was dehydrated (low bp, racing pulse). I did it at school a lot, so they would always go all out checking my vitals and sugar every time someone caught me grabbing for walls. This time around no dice, my bp and pulse were fine. I'm taking iron today because I tend to run low. Glad you're feeling better the last few days.
Imogene, in Ohio, I don't think we were providing food back in the day, when the midwives rode dinosaurs. My mom went and got donuts and coffee during Osha's birth. We had tons of food in the house, but I went into labor at a cookout and I was pretty self absorbed by the time we got home. With Ari, labor was so quick we didn't even have our birth kit together, but the midwives were there after dinner and home before bed.
Seraf: I'm sorry to hear that you're having dizziness/passing out issues too. That's no fun! I hope that you have less of it this pregnancy than with Ari. How are you feeling other than that? What are you eating these days?
AmandaHope: Congratulations on getting through your hardest days of the week! I assume you're not having any more spotting?
Library: It's great to hear from you! I'm glad that you love Alice so much. I also sadly can't see the pictures on facebook, but I'm glad that you're getting some cute pictures!
Starling: I'm sorry that work scheduling is such a challenge. It's neat that you have punk rock nanny as an option, but I can understand not wanting to leave DD with other people yet. I'm 12 weeks TOMORROW! I know that mathematically 12 weeks doesn't make sense as the end of the first trimester, but I'm with you on wanting to believe that it is the big milestone.
AFM: No news, which at this point is very much good news. The rumor I've heard (from my pregnancy book) is that the miscarriage risk falls to less than one percent at the end of the 12th week. I'm excited!
Library - It's wonderful to have an update on you and your family! That baby of yours sounds incredibly well-loved. Your descriptions made me tear up a little. I'm glad you had your mom there to help you, but I can imagine babymooning family time is wonderful and precious too.
Escher - Congratulations on second trimester! I hope it's blissful. I've heard the same statistic, and I breathed a sigh of relief at week 12, too. Let us know how you're feeling!
Seraf - Sorry to hear you've been faint-y, too. Have you found anything that helps?
AmandaHope - What do you teach? And, thanks for asking, belly photos did turn out really well, and kind of made me feel better about being so bloated and unwieldy.
Starling - mmm Vietnamese salad rolls. We're having banh mi and salad rolls at our shower, because they're delicious and also because they've been major pregnancy cravings. I found trying to bank as many hours as possible during first trimester pretty exhausting. I really like the idea you have about using non family childcare when DD is old enough to articulate her experience - that makes a lot of sense, although I can also imagine that the first time you use outside childcare it's a huge decision, and hard to make with the added pressure of banking hours. My EI amount did not end up being fantastic, but it's liveable, and certainly a decent supplement to DPs income. I have no idea how I would live or support a child on this amount if I was single. Here's hoping we don't end up with another Harper government.
AFM - I am so antsy. Taking movie recommendations. DP and I were joking about trying to lure the baby out by dangling a fishing pole with something babies like on it in front of my bits. But the only things we could come up with that babies like were breasts and soothing ocean sounds. I kind of imagine there are no shortage of soothing ocean sounds where it is now, either. Thanks everyone for input on feeding MWs/doula. I think we're going to do fresh fruit and veggies/pita/hummus/dip for the midwives and doula, and pull some banana-apple-millet bread from the freezer. Hopefully while I'm in early early labour, I can pull stuff out and set it up. Does this sound reasonable? They're pretty much foods we have around anyway, and should be easy to prep.