I wasn't sure where to post this but since I mostly post here and am familiar with you ladies I decided this is the best place.
Sorry if this is a bit long but I feel you need to know the back story a bit. The father of my middle two kids and I were together for almost 7 years 9on and off). We were at the point of talking about getting married, I never really "fell in love" with him, more or less I fell in love with the attention I received from him but never felt he was the man for me. He on the other hand seemed to be head over heels for me from day one. I even went as far as telling him I am not interested in him when we first met but he wouldn't let up and since I had never received that kind of male attention before I gave in. It was a rocky 7 years with him cheating on me at least once..and even though I was never attracted to him I never cheated. Shortly after I miscarried our third child I found out he was cheating on me with someone who supposedly had been his "friend" for the last few years. I confronted her and she claimed she had no interest in him and he was too old for her...long story short they are married with 2 kids now.
Anyways despite my initial upset at being dumped it was a relief not to have to pretend anymore..but that was short lived. I soon found out that he would be helpful to me and good the the kids but only if I agreed with him that i was pinning away for him and continued to have sex with him.Unfortunately I need his help and wanted him to be there for the kids.
About 2 months ago i finally grew a backbone and told him no more sex but no matter how i put him off or straight out tell him he still likes to believe I am in love with him (which I am not..in fact except for the impact on the kids if he fell off the earth tomorrow I would be totally OK with that).
So anyways here is my dilemma...he just called and offered to pay for half of the cost of the midwives after seeing my post on face book about how upset I am that I can't afford it. He said he doesn't want anything in return just wants to do this act of kindness. I feel like I am just using him if I accept but at the same time it is something i really want and feel like he owes me for all the crap I put up with. But I know too that he thinks he is somehow buying my affections by doing this and i know that it will not change how I feel about him one little bit.
So do I take the high road and turn him down or get my needs met and deal with the consequences later? I have no real life friends to bounce this off of and figure you all can be brutally honest since I probably will never meet you anyways