 FosteringHope! Nice to see you on here. The families represented on this forum are really awesome, warm, and full of invaluable information and support. We fostered a little girl for 2.5 years, from the time she was 4 weeks until she was 2.5 years old. She just left this past December. For us, we weren't seeking foster care, it kind of found us. We acted as fictive kin caregivers and quickly became licensed foster parents, per our state's laws.Â
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Our case drug out for 2.5 years. We went back and forth within the case. At no point did the state support her going home, but they put a petition in 4 different times to end parental rights, and each time it was rejected, the first being the day of the removal. In calendar year 2010, there were 3 more petitions entered. Our case was frought with many ins/outs, as any case would be. She basically went home when the state rested their battle because the judicial system wouldn't support it. I don't know yet how it will turn out as it's so recent, but time will tell. Since she left in early December, her mom has forbid us to see her and now she has refused any and all contact as well, so it has been an abrupt end.
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Foster care, as I learned, is a lot of emotional stress and a lot of advocating. It sounds like you're fighting your hardest for your little ones rights to be respected; good for you! And it is a lot of turmoil, not knowing what comes next. Just since our little one left, we have been relieved to feel peace in looking towards the future. We spent the last 1.5 years of the case living 110 miles from her mom, so we had to drive down there every week for a weekly visitation. Now that she's gone, it's been a hidden blessing for us to not have to be tied to visits anymore. It's been a hidden blessing to not go, "Well, if she's here next year." I would see clothes for the next summer or a winter jacket for next year and go, "Well, I could buy it, but I don't know if she'll be here." I still have things I need to donate that I had purchased for her in much larger sizes that are all stored in a tote.
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 Foster care is tough on everyone involved. It is very hard on the children, being caught in the middle. It is very hard on the parents, as they either struggle through their issues or become too overwhelmed to fight anymore. It is very hard on the children's extended family, both by birth and foster care. And of course it is very difficult on the foster family. At present, my biological children have decided they don't want to foster again, so we're not. They are recovering.Â
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I hope that you find the support you need here; I certainly did when I was a foster parent! 
