to all of you young mamas! I recognize some of you from the boards.
I'm MJ. I was 18 when I became pregnant with my DS, 19 when he was born. I actually conceived my DS the first time my DH & I ever slept together (we were not married then). At DH's absolute insistence, he moved in when I was a few months along to help take care of me and the baby. I worked for a bank and had my own place at that time (I graduated high school at 16).
DS was born in August. He was 3 weeks early. I started into sparatic labor at 36 weeks 6 days and was induced when I arrived at the hospital due to severe preeclampsia. A pretty strange condition since I was 120 lb pre preg (155 lb at delivery) and had never had a high blood pressure reading. DS was 4 lbs 11 oz due to IUGR and (then undiagnosed) heart condition. It was all a very cruel sort of transition to motherhood but it helped me grow up very fast. Every doctor I had during that pregnancy missed things, very important things, despite their completely needless medical procedures.
We bought our first house in December, and got engaged the day we moved in. That was also the day we found out DS had a heart defect and had to have surgery, like ASAP. DS had open heart surgery 12/8/08 just shy of 4 months old. He recovered very quickly and in great thanks to the universe for saving my baby, I dedicated my life to being the best possible mom I could ever be. Much to my dismay (looking back now) DS stopped BFing shortly after his surgery, was vaccinated and circumcised.
DH & I got married the next year when I was 20. DS was 1 year and 2 weeks old and walked down the aisle with our rings. :) A few months later when DS turned 18 m/o we started trying for baby #2. It took a few months (and a few meltdowns at all those negative tests!) but in late May 2010 we found out DD was on her way. And then the research began. Pregnancy number 2 at 21 y/o was completely different. I ate completely organic and took only food based supplements (and still do!) and listened to my own heart and intellect and research more than anything else. Despite my dedication to a healthy pregnancy, DD almost died at birth. I labored for only 6 hours at 39 weeks even, and delivered naturally (no drugs). I had a seizure during labor. I pushed twice. Doc wasn't there yet. On the first push, my water broke, on the second, DD was born. January 2011, 6 lb 8 oz. She wasn't breathing, and her cord was wrapped around her neck. It was also one strand and inside out. It snapped and blood sprayed everywhere when they removed it from her neck. She began crying quickly after and was pink in no time. Her second apgar was an 8. When they FINALLY gave her to me 20 minutes later she latched on with ease and nursed for over an hour. Doc showed up and manually yanked my placenta from me, as she had to do because it was not connected to anything.
DD's umbilical cord had been connected to the amniotic fluid throughout the pregnancy (not placenta in any way) and the cord also was laying in front of the cervix completely blocking the birth canal. All of the conditions combined are called Vasa Previa, and it carries a mortality rate of 95%. The babies who survive are the ones who are detected early, and Mom is admitted to the hospital for the last trimester, and c-section is scheduled for 35 weeks. That's all because the babies entire lifeline is the amniotic sac. If the water breaks, baby has 3 minutes to live. Needless to say, DD's survival was a complete miracle. Her head made the EXACT perfect descent so as not to burst the cord until after she was born, and my water did not break until I was actually pushing. I started pushing at 10:59 and she was born at 11:01. My doctor and the nurses said they were unaware of a baby with VP that had ever survived a natural delivery... and after research months later, I was only able to find 2 others (ever).
So if DS's ordeal didn't sober me up as a mother, you can say DD's pushed me over the edge. Her doctors missed an easily diagnosable condition that very, very nearly killed her. Conventional medicine is about MONEY, not about care.
Now I am 22. My DH just turned 27 and we recently moved as he began a career in law enforcement. I just left my job a few months ago and am now a full time SAHM. DD is a no vax baby, and she is also following BLW. We use our chiropractor as our main source of care, and the kids have a holistic pediatrician who is supportive of extended breastfeeding and non vax decisions.
I view being their mom as both my joy and my job. My kiddos go to bed at 7 and I research from 7-8 every night. Being educated and informed to make the best possible decision for my children is #1 for me. I only get to do this once. I don't get a do-over as a mother.
Joining parenting groups drive me insane because people automatically assume things like I was in HS when DS was born, I was single (I mean I wasn't married, but wasn't single) , that I don't know what birth control is, that I'm uninformed and make in-the-moment decisions. None of which are true. And the other thing that drives me crazy is... even if I WAS in high school or I HAD been single, SO WHAT? All that matters now is how I care for my kids. My brother is now engaged to a woman who is a year younger than me (21), who had her 4 year old DD when she was 17. Every person in her life asked her get an abortion. Instead she got a job and a tiny apartment and is now graduating from college and is one of my best mom friends because she thinks through EVERY decision for her daughter and has since day one.
So there's my life story! Nice to connect with some other moms in the same years of their life who can relate....