Homeschooling is NOT working... - Page 2

[PGTlatte]

I am in a situation in which homeschooling our 8 yo is challenging with our 5 yo being who he is, and us keeping a very busy calendar of activities.  But it is very important to me to feel that I am meeting all of the requirements.  I will respond quickly with what I do:

• Establish a set bedtime and stick to it.  Establish a set waking up time and stick to it, even if they are mad about getting up.  Have an efficient and non-negotiable morning routine.  Then get schoolwork done as early in the day as possible. 
• Dump any curriculum that seems cumbersome and impossible.  For the 3Rs, go with materials that are open-and-go, get it done, no teacher's manual, teach-on-the-page workbooks, and affordable.  Personally I have resorted to buying Spectrum workbooks for our older son's grade level for math, phonics, language arts, and writing. They actually are not bad at all.  I also use Spelling Workout, Scholastic Daily Word Ladders, and some Evan Moor books (Language Fundamentals and Vocabulary Fundamentals) although I will be switching to Spectrum for these.  I also use Flash Forward Reading workbooks from Barnes and Noble - cheap and really great !  Not all of these every day; but enough variety to put together a nice packet of language arts work for every day that isn't always the same.  MCP Math also has good workbooks.  Singapore Math has good books for word problems.  Critical Thinking Company has some good books for brain puzzles and pre algebra (Balance Benders).
• For history/social studies and science, buy materials that you can use to read aloud or together with both at the same time 1-2 days a week.  I am going with Story of the World for history, along with the history maps from Knowledge Quest to work some geography in, and Real Science 4 Kids and Magic School Bus books for science reading.  I am not getting into complicated projects in these areas with lots of craft activities or experiments.  Those are great, but will have to wait until things are less hectic.
• Our state also requires PE/Health and Fine Arts.  PE and Health are met by participation in sports and a weekly gym class for homeschoolers, along with an occasional library book on a health topic.  Fine arts is violin lessons and practice.  I am working on collecting some books on famous paintings and poems for kids. 

This is a very basic, streamlined approach.  For me right now this is what is manageable.  It does not take more than a couple hours a day of focused work to keep making good progress in all subjects.  When it is time for him to work, I keep him on task.  Taking quick 5 minute breaks every 20 minutes or so really helps him chug along.  When he is done with the work I gave him or lessons with me, he is really done for the day.  We are not dragging school work out all day because that is totally exhausting and draining.  This way I have time to take care of all the other stuff I need to take care of, spend time with the 5 yo, and be out of the house for whatever the activity is for that day.  He is making good progress with this and staying on track.  We don't stop for summer so I'm fine with his school day being shorter since we get about 60 more days in per school year than our public school does. 

The other thing that helps me is tackling housework head on before others get up and keeping food simple.  I am usually doing something involving dishes, laundry, and garbage at 5:30 every morning.  If I don't get those three things under control, I feel overwhelmed by them.  But they are easy to make a big dent in very early in the morning.  I also don't spend much time on food preparation.  Our meals are very repetitive and boring most of the time. 

I hope some of this helps. 

Edited by PGTlatte - 4/9/11 at 9:12pm

[sapphire_chan]

Re: your 3rd DC's speech:

http://lester.rale.k12.wv.us/articulation%20norms.htm if he's only 5 there are lots of sounds that it's normal not to say clearly yet.

http://members.tripod.com/caroline_bowen/acquisition.html has even more details.

[pigpokey]

laundrycrisis and I have a similar approach, though I only have 2 kids and they are pretty close in age so I have it easy.

Currently we are all in 2nd grade ish workbooks, as they can read, plus Rosetta Stone for Spanish which is on a laptop.

I can take everything on the go by grabbing workbooks, the pencil box and the laptop.  I like the Kumon series for math.  We are also using spelling and cursive workbooks, a change from printing out cursive sheets because the end of the year is always so crazy. 

This means any work not completed in a reasonable time in the morning, some child can easily take in the car on the way to an activity or do while waiting for a sibling to finish an activity.  Rosetta Stone is particularly good for the car (except often they need to skip the purely-speaking lessons and do them later, because of the road noise).  The first History of Us book plays in the car with my Audible app on my phone, but if you don't have that you could burn it on CD with no issue.  http://www.audible.com search for Joy Hakim.  I hope they are also recording her Story of Science series.   

Meals just need to be simple.  For dinner tonight my kids had cold ham, bread and asparagus.  I try to put multiple things in one side but it is basically what they are guarenteed in a meal is one side of usually a vegetable, or a fruit in the worst case scenario (as these are usually eaten more between meals and breakfast) and a protein source (meat, cheese, mac and cheese, peanut butter sandwich, etc.) 

[luv my 2 sweeties]

Wow, some really great advice here!  I just want to add my support to the idea of backing down from the school stuff and getting the rest of your life in order first.  Your girls are young enough that a couple of months won't matter in the long run.  Declare summer vacation and plan to start lessons again in the fall.  Use the summer to have some "visioning" sessions with your husband and after that, some family meetings with everyone to get input on how to implement the vision.  Try out some routines, and chore and meal planning strategies while you don't also have to be teaching.  Look into the various homeschooling options that have been suggested here and decide which one you will try first, second (if need be), etc.

You mention that you are not naturally very organized.  I am not either, so I understand!  What I have discovered about myself is that my natural inclination to not like schedules and structure are the reasons I *need* to have some schedules and structure!  When I'm working within a basic daily schedule, I am at my most productive while at the same time (rather counter-intuitively), I also find that I have more "free-time" than when I wing it.  I think this is because I spend a lot less time fretting about what I *should* be doing. 

Best of luck to you!  I think many people find the first year to be very hard!

[aliumflower8]

I know this is an old post and I don't know what you as a parent decided, but I wanted to respond as a mother who used to homeschool and has now stopped.

I have four children 4,6,8 and 10. So, my family is above average sized, too.  I homeschooled the eldest until she was 8 and I homeschooled the second eldest until she was 7.  Then they both started attended public school here in the burbs. I let my youngest attend Kindergarten in public school as well.  She was homeschooled throughout the daycare and preschool age.

I homeschooled because I lived in the city at the time and my neighborhood school was overcrowded and to me, subpar.  I had to take my eldest homeschooled child to the neighborhood school occasionally for evaluations and paperwork and would hear the teachers doing more disciplining than teaching. I worried about my children being bullied and overwhelmed or underwhelmed. 

The positives of homeschooling was that I can take pride in knowing that I taught my older children how to read, how to do basic arithmetic, and how to write their own names.  I enrolled them in Art and Cooking Classes.  They went with their Dad to work sometimes and did Yoga with me. I didn't have to buy school uniforms or school clothes. I didn't have to rush about.  I didn't have to follow a back to school supply list.  When my children didn't understand something, I could re-visit the subject or topic later and teach them all at their own pace. I knew my children's learning styles, likes, and dislikes so I could teach them traditionally or unconventionally (unschool) depending on each child's personalities and challenges. I developed a bond with my children and we all become very close.  We made hurricanes in a bottle, analyzed snow, went to a Native American powwow for a history lesson and did schoolwork after 9:00 a.m. when we wanted to.

Now, the negatives.  My kids were always around me. Number one, I am human.  I'm not perfect.  I can get cranky.  I can snap at my kids if I'm feeling stressed.  I have my own idiosyncrasies and so does my husband. My kids don't need to be around my husband and I all of the time.  Also, I feel I am a better mom when I can have regular breaks from my kids.  I am more refreshed for them, myself, and my husband when I can get a breather.  When I am not around them, I can exercise, I can prepare a nutritious meal for myself, I can engage in hobbies, take a bath without someone knocking on the door, pick up part time work, clean up a room and have it stay cleaned up for hours and - gasp! - be intimate with my husband. I can prepare a little extra homework for my children while alone to help in areas where they need more educational intervention.

The other negative is that in some areas I underestimated what was expected of them for school. Sure, there are plenty of success stories of homeschooled students winning National Spelling Bees, winning scholarships to Ivy League colleges and reading well above grade level. But there are just as many stories like mine, where when my kids did finally attend school, they were so behind that all three of them needed some form of Learning Support Services.  Granted, genetically, special needs runs in my family. Both of my brothers were assessed with learning disabilities while in public school.  But, I'm sure the staff at each of my children's IEP had plenty to say about me behind closed doors regarding homeschooling.

The biggest shocker was Kindergarten. I thought well my older two girls are behind but my youngest daughter will get a fresh start.  She hasn't been to pre-school or daycare but what's the big deal? She'll just be learning the alphabet, colors, shapes and how to count to 20 between coloring and storytime.  Right?  WRONG!  Kindergarten is now what 1st grade, even 2nd grade used to be when I was growing up.  My daughter was expected to count by 2's, 5's, recongnize 100, recognize coins, read clocks, read sight words, "kid write," do simple addition and subtraction - among other things.  She floundered and drowned and again she has to be in Learning Support after Kindergarten.

Having your child attend public school is not for everyone, but neither is homeschooling.  It's a full-time serious commitment and no one should guilt you into continuing if it's not working out.  You are not a failure for wanting to stop. It actually takes more courage to stop homeschooling and to go to a brick and mortar school and admit that you need help.  Great article, by the way!

[ASloane700]

Hello Everyone:

I am new to this thread and I have been homeschooling for almost 15 years.  I am a homeschooling mother to 5 children ages 14, 12, 13, 10 and 8.  There's only one shocking thing that I honestly read that helped me---who are we hurrying up for? The reason that we're homeschooling in the first place is so that we're no longer in the "rat race" and the atmosphere is "relaxing".  It took me many years to finally understand this fact.  I was always rushing my kids through one class after another until one day I read this article on the internet and I said Oh my goodness she's right!!  So now what do I do?  Allow my children the opportunity to work at their own pace (s) and shockingly enough they get the work done....no time cards being punched in my house any longer Lol!!  Seriously, unless they are doing a curriculum where the work has to be in at a set time period, then they answer to no one except for yourself.  Oh and did I mention that I'm a single parent!!  My one son is classified as Autistic which according to them I broke him out of this classification.  My one daughter is classified as Cerebral Palsy which I worked her legs and she too is classified as being normal now.  My one son is a behavior problem which I continue to combat with humor and he's above grade level (their words).  One other thing I forgot to mention--they are all adopted and I'm doing it alone.

Anita 

[SpiderMum]

Originally Posted by Subchaos 


The kids are staying up way too late and getting up later.  A huge part of it was that we always depended on the bus to get us up early before (a reason to get up).  Now we don't get up until DH has to go to work, which is later than most--winds up being around 8:30.  You'd think it would be easy enough to get an alarm.  DH shuts it off!  He is a chronic snoozer.  I don't even hear it, it's so quiet.

We're unschoolers so we don't do the whole school-at-home thing....so I've got no suggestions there....but with the alarm thing I suggest looking into an alarm app. I downloaded a free one on my phone and there are tons of different settings....you can even set it up so you can't snooze it or turn it off without answer a math problem!

[moominmamma]

Just a heads up that this thread is almost two years old and the original poster hasn't been on-line here at MDC since the day after she started this thread. 

Miranda

[FLmomof1/1ontheway]

Well I could of wrote this post myself. Except I don't care if my kids sleep in. I pray they sleep in. My husband is gone 80 hours a week and I am completely on my own. I never sent my kids to public school and keep them home for the same reasons as the original poster.
I really struggle with getting them to do school. All they want to do is play. They are 8 and 5 so the difference in age doesn't allow me teach them at the same time. The 5 year old needs constant attention and direction. Plus I have a crazy 3 year old who constantly interrupts. Plus I'm pregnant.
If I do school everything gets neglected. Laundry, house work, errands, etc. I'm only one person. Essentially I'm a single parent since my husband gets up leaves for work and doesn't get home until 11pm SIX days a week. I've been drowning in work and stress for years. I don't want to send my kids to public school but I don't want them never learning either. I've tried lots of stuff over the years and I'm still struggling.

[pek64]

You can teach them at the same time. Bears are bears; anatomy is anatomy. Some topics work, regardless of age. Think outside the box. Post specific problems you would like help thinking of solutions.


Edited to ask that this cranky response be ignored. There's one I hope is better later.
Edited by pek64 - 3/13/13 at 9:04pm

[Fillyjonk]

Originally Posted by FLmomof1/1ontheway 

Well I could of wrote this post myself. Except I don't care if my kids sleep in. I pray they sleep in. My husband is gone 80 hours a week and I am completely on my own. I never sent my kids to public school and keep them home for the same reasons as the original poster.
I really struggle with getting them to do school. All they want to do is play. They are 8 and 5 so the difference in age doesn't allow me teach them at the same time. The 5 year old needs constant attention and direction. Plus I have a crazy 3 year old who constantly interrupts. Plus I'm pregnant.
If I do school everything gets neglected. Laundry, house work, errands, etc. I'm only one person. Essentially I'm a single parent since my husband gets up leaves for work and doesn't get home until 11pm SIX days a week. I've been drowning in work and stress for years. I don't want to send my kids to public school but I don't want them never learning either. I've tried lots of stuff over the years and I'm still struggling.

Awwww, I hear you. My husband has stints where he does long days, and also where he is working away and I know how hard it is. I think more than anything, you are not alone, this is a fairly common situation. But also, what you face is what we all face to some extent, yes, but its so much harder when you have multiple kids, when you have to get most things done without backup. The simple fact of having to take the kids most places. I know that feeling of drowning and not knowing where to start.

You know what I'd think about doing? Try to get yourself some space, an hour or two and sit and think what your priorities are. What is the minimum you feel needs doing by the end of the year? What do they need to have learnt? I always focus on skills, not knowledge, so in your situation I guess I might say, " by date x the 8 year old needs to have learnt to write semi-legibly, finished boox x of math and to have practiced for half an hour a day at least 5 days a week on the french horn.". Concrete, realistic goals. Talk to your kids as much as possible, I'd say the ideas would be for them to set the goals.

Or another way to do it, the approach I kind of went for a little more, would be to look at ways to help your oldest gain the skills for independence. Life skills like cooking and laundry. But also, self-learning/self teaching skills. My kids have always had really the final say in what they learn, their learning decisions are collaborative but for my 9 year old now, I am far more hands off, I guide him more than anything and help him set long term goals and short term incentives for himself. Thus, hes highly motivated. Time invested in that would pay off, I suspect.

I know how crazy a house with 3 little kids can feel (I have pretty much the same ages as your kids, we're just a year on). I think the big thing I want to say is don't underestimate the job you are doing. This is hard work. Kids grow though. Honestly, nowadays, with a 5, 7 and 9 year old, life is pretty easy.

[pek64]

I'm very sorry about my earlier post. I had good intentions (I wanted you to know someone read your post), but I was too tired and cranky to say much. If you'll forgive me, I'll try again when I have more time and have had more sleep.

[pek64]

Flmom, I'm ready to try again. I hope I didn't annoy you too much before.

The point I was trying to make is that you can read a book about bears, for example, to all the children. Art projects can be done at the same time. Look for ways to lighten the school load. It's got to be tough with multiple children, but I know a family of seven who manages. As they get older, there is more help with schooling and housework from the older children. In the meantime, with a baby on the way, you should, I think, simplify. Give the older two baskets for their clean clothes, and let them fold their own clothes, or wear them from the basket, until the baby is older, at least. I'm sure other moms have lots of ideas. Post for housework help in other forums, if you want more suggestions. When the baby arrives, though, relax the education standards (or eliminate them). They are still young, and will be able to catch up when you are able to give them more attention. If you can, hire a mother's helper to play with the current youngest. That will free you of some stress. Work on what's stressing you the most, first.

We're here for you, as much as we can be. I wish you well!