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April running is not just for Fools! - The April Dingo Thread - Page 18

post #341 of 369

Well, I've been all dressed up in my running clothes, and simply didn't have the opportunity to run.  shake.gif


In other news, Katie got a prescription for an ADHD med called Intuniv.  They wanted to try her on a non-stimulant med first because she has the history with motor tics.  The prescription is at the pharmacy, and I'm hoping we will start seeing a difference in a couple of weeks.


And, mamas, I think I'm depressed.  There is really nothing wrong in my life.  Some stress, but really, nothing earth shattering or anything.  Lots of you are under far more pressure, and handling it way more gracefully!  I'm just not feeling like myself.  Everything seems like it is a struggle.  It's a struggle to cook, a struggle to get out to exercise, a struggle to get out of bed, etc.  I was folding laundry yesterday and noticed myself sighing heavily every time I picked up a piece of clothing.  Anyway, it's out there, and I guess I need to do something about it.  But, I don't particularly want to talk about it (I don't think I need therapy, because nothing is really wrong!).  I keep thinking that I simply need to just knock it off, but also know that is easier said than done (and certainly not the advice I would give to someone if they came to me about these things!). 

post #342 of 369

Bec, hug2.gif I'm sorry that things feel so hard right now. Good that you are here, and that if you ever need to vent, that's what we are here for (among so many other things). Your life is very full and busy, and you deal with a lot of things. Even though "nothing is wrong", that doesn't mean that you are not really feeling what you describe! It's so real, and I'm glad you said it.



post #343 of 369
Bec - I find that I go through phases of feeling depressed "about nothing" (because my circumstances havent necessarily changed) and then coming out of it. It has happened enough times that I am now better able to be gentle with myself (ha! but it's all relative wink1.gif ) when I am depressed because I know that it will end, and in fact, the pressure I put on myself to feel better because I "should" makes me feel worse. Sometimes its just ok to indulge slowing down. This winter I went through one and had days where I would spend most of the day in bed! Ive never done it in my life, but I just needed time alone and to be inactive - apparently wink1.gif - and then the next day I was ready to go again. Dont pay attention to "should". Try to listen to your bodymind, even if its not doing what you wish it were. It will pass when you are ready. In the meantime, I looked into antidepressants during my phase and couldnt bring myself to take them b/c of the, ehem, sexual side effects. I value my libido too much - lol.gif. But I did make sure to take fish oil every day, and then started taking SAM-e this spring, which I think is helping too. hug.gif

dizzy.gif Cant believe all the moving happening around here! Mommajb! Drjen! Jo! Jen! Just amazing transitioning happening.
post #344 of 369
bec, Depression doesn't have a reason. It is a feeling, a mood, a brain chemistry, and more but it isn't reasonable. Feel, it acknowledge it, ask for some love and support, and try to figure out what you can do to get to a better spot. I think you have more than enough going on that you could blame but blame is wallowing. We all feel low from time to time but if this isn't passing ask for what you need to feel better. All easier said than done. If we could logic our way out of depression it would be much easier. I mostly want to say love and hugs. A little more sunshine wouldn't hurt either.
post #345 of 369

Bec, big hugs. hug2.gif  I had a total meltdown (crying) at school today over nothing specific. Depression/feeling down doesn't have to be circumstance-related. Sometimes it is just what it is. We are here for you.


So after my terrible stomach virus of the earlier part of the week, the medicine I took to stop the runs....immobilized my innards. Sigh. redface.gif eyesroll.gif  I've been eating prunes today, drinking lots of water, found a Colace that I had from after I gave birth...what should I do?! This is not good. I haven't run in a week and I am starting to go bonkers.


My greatest pleasure of the day? The nap I had after work and going to Target and Publix (grocery store) MYSELF. Ah, the way our standards change once we're parents as to enjoyable activities...

post #346 of 369

I love you ladies.  You always make me feel so good, positive, strong and validated.  Thank you all!

post #347 of 369
bec~Other, wiser dingos have said things far better than I could. But I just wanted to add that even though you feel like you have nothing going on in your life comparatively, it's all relative. Just because someone else has "bigger" issues doesn't mean that what you're going through is any less significant. I think you have plenty on your plate, simply by being a mom of 3 kids. Heck, ONE is driving *me* nuts these days! hug.gif Be gentle to yourself, and know that we're all here for you.

nic~I know it may not feel great, given your um, condition...but one of the best ways to get things moving is to get moving. Get out for your run. And some coffee might help. I had to switch to tea before my runs because coffee was *too* much for me. Colace is great, but helps more preventatively. If things are really backed up, you probably need a full-on laxative. I might start with some miralax, I think it's more gentle than many of the other laxatives. And if there's one thing I've become an expert on during nursing school, it's all the many options for stool softeners and laxatives. lol.gif

So...interview. Done. I feel like it went well. It was kind of weird, but then again, this whole process has been a little weird. I was there way early and ran into my friend coming out of her interview. It sounds like we had almost the exact same interview, same questions, etc., but she felt like she did horribly, whereas I felt like I did pretty well. They were fairly standard questions, and I felt pretty well prepared for them, given the input I had from my fellow students who had already interviewed and my clinical scholar who gave me some sample questions. I already knew two of the three people on the panel from previous clinical stuff, so maybe that helps? It was seriously fast. Like, 15 minutes and I was done. And they started about 10 minutes early, so I was done with my 3pm interview at 3:05! It really felt to me like it was a formality...as in, don't say anything stupid, and you'll be fine. Who knows, though...they said they will be making decisions by the end of next week and offers by Monday the 9th, so I guess I'll find out then.

And I scheduled DS's birthday party. I ended up going with one of the bounce places. I really didn't want to spend that much, but it was the cheapest of the available options, unfortunately, unless I want to do it myself (and I don't). Now my problem is that the party includes 12 kids. If I go one kid over, I get charged an extra $50. I have 9 kids (not including DS) on the list, but 3 have little siblings between 1 and 2, and the stupid party place counts them if they're over 1 (yet a <2 year old isn't really going to play at a bounce place, ya know? irked.gif). So, if those three moms bring the siblings (which they probably would, unless I ask them not to), we go over by one kid and I get charged. Of course, that's assuming that everyone could come to the party anyway, and given that I'm having it at 9 am on the Saturday of Memorial Day weekend, that might be a pretty big assumption. Sigh. Maybe I send out all the invitations except to the one family (who I would really be inviting because mom is my friend, DS doesn't see the kid that often) and then send them theirs if I get a no? But then I feel bad if I don't get any "no"s...

rr~Good run this morning with the kiddo and dog. I couldn't figure out why it felt so hard...I had forgotten my inhaler. I was pushing the stroller. The dog was being a PITA. It was windy. All of those could have been major factors. But then I downloaded my Garmin and saw I did my 4 miles at a 10:02 pace. Which is kind of smoking fast for me, with the stroller, at the moment. redface.gif

Now, MUST study. Yes, I have an exam tomorrow morning that I literally have not studied one single bit for. bag.gif
post #348 of 369

bec--I'm so sorry you're feeling low right now.  I agree with everyone who says your feelings are valid even if you are feeling like there is nothing wrong and you should be able to snap yourself out of it.  Yes, other people might have bigger problems, but that's the case for almost anyone.  As I tell my kids a thousand times a day: it's not a contest.  You don't have to prove that your life is worse than anyone else's in order for your feelings to count.  I hope that soon you'll be able to see a way out of feeling depressed and grasp at it.  Until then, you know that everyone here is with you.


Gaye--Congrats on a good interview!  There is nothing I find more stressful than an interview.  I'm glad it felt like just a formality and I hope that you get an offer soon.


No running for the past couple of days for me.  On Tuesday DS, who is five, has a drumming class in the afternoon.  DH had taken the day off for a dentist appointment so I took advantage of that to have him come to drum class, which delighted DS to no end, and then I sent the two of them home in the car while I ran home.  It was about 7.5 miles, and just over a mile into it, I realized I didn't really want to run that far.  Bummer, since I was over six miles from home with no cell phone and I'd told DH I'd be home in time to get DD off the bus.  Crummy run, and I tweaked my calf, which was really sore that night and yesterday.  I decided to skip running yesterday.  Today, too, DS had a nursery rhyme show at school in the middle of my running window of opportunity, so I took another rest day.  Tomorrow DS doesn't have school at all so it will be slacker day number three, and I hope by Saturday to be on the roads again.


Tonight after I read to the kids (a fabulous chapter book about Pokemon from DD's school library), I laid down on the couch for just a few minutes while the kids said good night to DH and climbed into bed.  Three hours later I woke up feeling guilty.  I feel like I'm operating at such a sleep deficit, but can't figure out how to get more sleep while still running and spending a reasonable amount of time with DH, plus waiting tables two nights a week.  I suppose if I could just convince DS to stay out of our bed, that would help.  This morning I was awake at 4:00, blazing hot with DH on one side and DS on the other. 


On the upside, if I am awake at that hour tomorrow I'll be able to watch the royal wedding live.  DH made fun of me for wanting to record it on our DVR; he didn't think it was my thing.  Too girly.  I told him that people who mock the royal wedding don't get any chocolate-chip scones.  yummy.gif

post #349 of 369

Bec, everyone here has already said more than everything I have to say, but that won't keep me from adding my emphasis. winky.gif First, everything sparkletruck said. Sometimes you have to somehow find enough stillness to really hear what your body and mind are telling you, and that may require a day in bed. And you may have to beg, borrow or steal to get it, but the insights will help you know better what you need. And it's not "something is wrong," necessarily, so much as "I need." What is it you need? It's OK to need something, and as the person who works to meet everyone's needs all the time, we have that special way of ignoring our own. My mind tends to verbalize through my body--I don't get sadness or rage so much as physical pains. But I know exactly those sighs you describe; I observe them in myself when I am emotionally fatigued.


And a note on the whole "other people have real stuff going on" talk: nono.gif First, we are all deeply invested (emotionally, physically, financially, spiritually) in our families. There is no comparison. We all do this in huge and amazing ways. Second, I would never want anyone to consider my life any sort of benchmark for what is validly "full enough" or "busy enough." Part of the reason why I am willing to pack it all up and move 10 time zones away is my fatigue. I get to do some things that focus on me, me, me. I'm a vagabond at heart and have been tied to home for 10 years and my soul is hurting. Thankfully, dh understands that (because he has a twin heart) and so here we go. But, back to my first point--can you get some quiet, alone, reflective time to figure out what needs are not being met?


Gaye, hoping for good news for you!


Nick, good luck! Never again Imodium, right?


RR: The sun is due to be out today, and I have a strategy. I am going to dress for the Y, leave the house as soon as the kids are on the bus, work out, then head out into the SUNSHINE and WARM TEMPS and just walk or jog or maybe get a coffee at a cafe I like. This should net me several hours of sunshine.


NRR: Then I am going to Friday prayers. After that, a friend always stops in with her kids for coffee after my kids get home from school and they all play. Then, my kids and I will head to a dear friend's house for dinner and more playing. Tomorrow, I am (finally!) fixing a broken windshield wiper (yes it has been raining all week) on my car, and then going to my G-ma's 85th bday party. Sunday, an acquaintance is coming to basically buy out the rest of our personal effects. Come Monday, this house will be like a cave.


And in other news, ds and I finally made major strides in his school work, and he handed in a persuasive report, a short page on simple machines, and a thank-you letter (to his teacher). Next up, an open-book essay exam on WI history (I make the questions). We have just a couple more math concepts to go over, and I already got him a math workbook for daily practice this summer. Makes me think I *could* do the homeschooling if I have to. That said, I have asked dh to call and be a little aggressive with the school and see if we can't get our kids enrolled.


P.S. sparkletruck, you sound healthy! How are you?


ETA: LaX4, omg I hate hate hate Pokemon, and no, that is not too strong a word. You are a better woman than I. 

post #350 of 369

bec ~ grouphug.gif I also want to echo what these other wise women have said.  Depression doesn't have to be "about" anything.  Sometimes it just happens.  I go through periods of depression maybe twice a year and it's rarely actually related to anything occurring in my life.  I remind myself that it does pass though, and just knowing that helps me to move through it and come out the other side.  I'm thinking of you.


Lalala ~ I cannot bring myself to read a Pokemon book. You are a better woman than I, too!


sparkletruck ~ so wonderful to see you here!  How are you feeling?


jooj ~ you're amazing!  That's all.


Gaye ~ do you think you could reasonably request that siblings not attend the party?  It really seems the only way to avoid paying extra.  Glad the interview went well and I'll be praying that the job is yours!


Today promises to be insanely busy, with absolutely no time for a run or any other forward motion either.  I caved yesterday and ordered a rental car which I'll be picking up this morning.  The repair guy said our van would take about 3 weeks and there are a few places (gymnastics, indoor soccer) that are just not safe to bike to, especially with the trailer.  Tonight is also Spring Fling at the elementary school so I've been baking up a storm for the bake sale (unfortunately, I've also been doing more than my share of sampling said baked goods).  And against my better judgement, I volunteered to be the PTO recording secretary for the 11-12 school year.  I figured with 3 kids at the same school, it was my time!





post #351 of 369

Thank you again.  Jo, your insights, particularly, struck a chord.


In good news, next weekend, I am leaving my family behind to go to the Indy Mini.  And my good girlfriend just arranged to be able to go with me!!!!  I'm so excited, and it is just what I need. 


RR: Got a beautiful 4 miles in with said girlfriend.  It was one of those tough runs that we were so proud to finish afterwards.  And the sun is shining.  That is so huge for me!  Now, I just need to shower, and get started on the mountains of laundry that are waiting for me!

post #352 of 369

Hi all.


Success in internal mobility. bag.gif


Right, Jo. Never again, Immodium. Although at the time I needed it so badly...sigh.


I haven't run in a week and feel like I'm going to be starting from scratch again, haven't had a run of over 8 miles in almost a month. How did I get so out of shape so fast?! I am hoping to get a run in later today, although the love bugs plague is out and I don't like running with bugs. Dh has a huge triathalon this weekend so my running time is definitely not high on the priority list. gotta. get. a run.


I'm doing another (last) 5K with my students at the end of May. By then it will be WICKED hot even at 7:15 a.m. so I'm not hoping for a PR but it will be a nice finish to the year for me and them. Between that elective and my Shakespeare elective, I think these were the best successes I had this year at work.


Sending happy thoughts out to everyone. blowkiss.gif

post #353 of 369

grouphug.gif Bec.  We all have down times.  I hope your weekend cures the funk! 


Where did all my time go?  Seriously, I am getting up at 5:30am on DH's day off to run with a friend, doing some bike fixing with another friend by 7:30, meeting DH for the huge church rummage sale by 8am..  Hopefully time for a nap because I work from 6 to midnight.  nut.gif  I am sure we will be shopping at the garage sale until well after lunch time.  Uffda!


But I am looking forward to a run with a friend!  Not sure if it will be slow or short or what, but it will be great either way. love.gif

post #354 of 369

Mamas I am starting to freak out a bit over having this ablation. I keep reading on the internet and there are some horror stories out there. Arrrrgggghhhh. I don't know what to do.

post #355 of 369

Hey Nick, I just wanted to encourage you to either a) call the doc to talk to him/her about it or b) call the nurse, who probably answers a lot of pre-op patient questions or c) try to stick to the more scientific websites at least, and not the personal stories. Not that I discount those, but it's just not really helping to make the decision, is it? You need the info that pertains to you, not just a summary of all the bad/scary outcomes that are out there.


IDK, this is just my opinion - so feel free to ignore, but I find that I can get really (really) wound up about medical things. Now that you know the pros and cons, that will give you some good questions, right?



post #356 of 369

Nic~didn't realize that you are having the ablation.  I've had it and it's been wonderful.  No more periods for me.  :)  Surgery itself was fine and so was healing.  Hugs!

post #357 of 369
Nic, I'll echo what Melissa said. Check with your doctor, make sure you are a candidate, find out your special areas of concern if any,focus on you and not all the other women on the internet that have had it done.

Today involved lots of yardwork today and more tomorrow. We even hired someone to take out a tree that needed to go. We had hi grind the stump but then hauled all the 'mulch' ourselves. Flowers are planted in front for the most part; tomorrow will be grass where the tree was and flowers in back beds. We have work to do around the garden/compost pile but rain is predicted for Sunday-Monday-Tuesday again and our bodies are likely to need the break. Movers come next week to give estimates but I haven't done near the clearing out I intended. Don't get me wrong, I've made progress but everything is taking me 4x as long.

My house is clean, I am keeping it ready to show, now I need showings and people to love it as much as I did when I saw it the first time. Good dingo house selling vibes would be greatly appreciated.

I'd like to hear from ds1. He was at the Holocaust Museum today with his class.
post #358 of 369

Nic ~ it's just anecdotal, but my friend who had an ablation a year ago said it was the best thing she ever did and solved all of her issues.  Good luck making the decision.


mommajb ~ sending you those house selling vibes!


RR ~ biked 35+ miles at 6:30 this morning with some friends.  Finally, a group ride that wasn't too slow or too fast for me! 

post #359 of 369

Hi all!


Since I haven't done a "real" RR for a while, I thought I would jot down my impressions of our local triathlon that I visited this morning. Just as a spectator, though!


I got up before the family today to sneak off on my bike and ride down to the local triathlon that was being held in town. This tri has a HM and a sprint distance, and by the time I got there, the triathletes doing the HM distance were already in the water. A little later, maybe by the time they had all done one loop around the lake, waves of the sprint distance started, as they were only doing one loop. Interesting thing was that they started the groups in the water. I always thought people started on land and ran out with lots of splashing. This seemed very orderly. I did see one guy who had been rescued in a kayak after having a panic attack. The lifeguards brought him in and talked to him a bit, and then let him rejoin the people exiting the water to head into T1. I thought that was really nice how the lifeguard and organizers took their time talking to him and his family/friends, and he seemed to be really well taken care of. Bummer though, when I saw him just a few minutes later, not on his bike, walking back through the trees toward his family again. I didn't see him for the rest of the morning, so I guess he decided not to go on.


Anyway, there must have been a couple hundred people there. First, I watched people coming out of the water and heading up to the T1 area, then later moved over to watch a little transition action. That was pretty neat to see how organized and fast some people were, while others just seemed to be taking their time. One lady got her number belt tangled up in the gears, so that took at least 5 minutes or so with several people getting involved to help find tools, etc. She actually seemed pretty calm about it all, and finally got everything straightened out and was back on the road. When the bikers were thinning out, I got back on my bike and rode a ways down the highway and across the highway to get to the T2 area. Surprising to me that the triathlon route for both sprint and HM was a long stretch on our main highway! No traffic blocked, although most cars seemed to keep to the inside lane in order to give the right lane to the bikers. Still, this highway is pretty busy and not scenic at all.


I was actually trying to get there and avoid the triathlon route, since I was on a bike and I have no idea what the rules are about that. It turns out that there is only one road back there, so I had to go on it, but so did everyone else from spectators walking, shuttle buses, and even people driving back to the little airport at the end of the road. I still felt a little bit self-conscious, so when I got to a convenient spot, I got off the bike to walk with the rest of the spectators. One volunteer saw me taking my helmet off and said "hey, transition is still down this road!" When I looked up at him and realized he was talking to me, I said 'just came to watch" and then realized that we know each other from the bike store! So that was nice. Anyway, at T2, I noticed that the first sprint people were already finishing up. There was some confusion as to what direction the runners had to take to get to the finish line, and I thought that the volunteers there were not doing much to help out. Some were standing there with drinks in their hands, chatting, totally ignoring the runners coming up and obviously searching for a sign to show them where to go. Anyway, an organizer did come over to straighten them out, but honestly, it was so obvious, anyone could have seen what needed to be done. Other than that, the organization looked great - lots of room, plenty of volunteers and great music. Once the runners finished, they could get back on a shuttle to go back to the main area (although I saw many walking - it is maybe 1.5 miles, but you have to cross that busy highway).


Anyway, I stayed and watched the runners coming in until I saw the only 2 people I knew who were participating. One is the trainer for my tri group, and so I talked with her and her kids, then got on my bike and headed home. All in all, it was fun to see it live before trying it out for myself. The triathletes really come in all shapes and sizes, right down to kids of maybe 11 or 12 and all the way up to grandmas and grandpas. I think I will sign up for the tri held in May in a county park (no traffic!) across town.

post #360 of 369

Hey, dingo mamas!


I'm so behind, in running, and posting here, and work, and housework... it's a miracle. I read a bunch of the thread but am still way behind in personals.


I'm doing a half tomorrow bigeyes.gif and am not quite prepared, but a friend and I are driving there together so I'm going to think of it as a long run with a lot of people. smile.gif I think I can still be on track for marathon training if I get my butt in gear. I have another half in two weeks so I get a redo if this one goes slowly. Kinda anxious since the last one I did, last fall, went badly and I was hurting for a while, but I think I'm in good shape and have no real reason to worry. I'm aiming for something in the 2:18-2:20 range, which should be totally doable, and would be super happy with 2:15. My realistic personal goal is 2:10, but that won't happen tomorrow.

I get to see Geo next week. I am more excited to see her than to give my conference paper by a big old huge margin. joy.gif


My week has been crazy, although today I took my kids and dd's friend to a world-record-setting Maypole dance event at my workplace. It took us a while to round up all the people, so it was a good couple hours hanging out in beautiful weather and chatting and relaxing. And I think we'll be in the Guiness Book of World Records!


Am having some distressing dh problems. <sigh> Really don't know what to do. Guess I'll give it a bit of time and think hard about what outcomes I might hope for.

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