Thinking of starting weaning my almost 2yo- and question about tandem nursing

[DevaMajka]

He's 21 mos old. I'm 9 weeks pg, and would like him to be totally weaned before the baby's born. I want to go for a slow weaning process, so I thought now might be a good time to start. (this seems like an anti-MDC thing to say. hehe). I'd start with night weaning, and leave some time to adjust to that, and go from there.

He's using more suction when nursing, and that's annoying. Perhaps my milk supply has changed? I know he still gets some- I could feel the letdown and major flow the other day, but normally I don't feel much. Plus, it seems like he's nursing more and more recently, and he's getting more dependent on it than he used to be. He used to just get up in the morning, and be happy to play. But recently, he doesn't want to leave the bed, and wants to nurse for a long time (in really annoying positions too).

Question about tandem nursing- Does tandem nursing ever make mom's life easier? It seems like it would be difficult to nurse a newborn (who has to be positioned perfectly), and also deal with a toddler who wants to nurse at the same time. But are there times when tandem nursing is convenient for you?

Before you think I sound really selfish, ds2 isn't that reliant on nursing. He's actually nursing more and more recently, but it's not like "my world would end if I couldn't nurse" kwim? I mean, I think weaning will cause some unhappiness, but if I spend lots of time with him outside, I think a lot of the unhappiness will be averted.

I nursed ds1 until he was 3.75- I started weaning at 3yo, and went REALLY slowly. I let him stop the final nursing session when he was ready (I was prepared to nurse until 4yo). At first, I cut him down to 10 times a day, and even that involved crying. He was really dependent on nursing, so I wouldn't even have thought of weaning him at 2. 

[kriket]

I don't know diddily about tandem, but I also weaned my 21m old son when I was in the 1st tri.

I did night time at first, he was nursing to sleep something fierce. He HAD to nurse to sleep. He was totally unable to self sooth. Which, when your 1st tri, makes you even more tired and cranky and wore out.

After the night weaning went really really well, which I was a little shocked, we only really had one session, when I got home from work. I would just tell him milk was all gone, and read instead. He took it really well. He's 2 now, and sometimes when I change he will say "milk" or "Bye boobies" but he doesn't seem to care.

Anyone who thinks your selfish can keep it to themselves. I just assumed I would nurse through this Pgcy, and tandem, but OMG, nursing while pregnant isn't what my breasts were intended for! I really think they are a one at a time body part! I thought I was going to crawl out of my skin and die when DS would nurse. Maybe if he was younger and was actually EATING, it would have been different, but there are other things we can do for comfort!

[KABB]

I nursed through my entire pregnancy last time around without issues, aside from early nipple soreness which I just dealt with because neither of us were ready to give up nursing.I loved tandem nursing. I think it did make my life easier because I was able to satisfy two children (our son and our youngest are about two years a part) at the same time. It was our quiet moments together, nothing really stressful about it. It was something the tree of us shared together and I think helped to start the relationship with our son and his baby sister out on the right foot...you know? My daughter did have issues with nursing (slight tongue tie and I had over active letdown). Our son still nursing helped with the over active letdown and we would have had issues with the tongue tie whether I was tandem nursing or not. I don't regret anything about tandem nursing and plan to do it again this time around with Kadie--who is a complete boob-a-holic at almost 22 months old. I am currently 10wd2d pregnant, due 10/28. This time around my nipple pain has been on and off again which I am thankful for...but I don't think that would stop us from weaning before we were ready this time either.

[D_McG]

Originally Posted by kriket 

I just assumed I would nurse through this Pgcy, and tandem, but OMG, nursing while pregnant isn't what my breasts were intended for! I really think they are a one at a time body part! I thought I was going to crawl out of my skin and die when DS would nurse.

lol I had the same experience. I found it REVOLTING. Like my whole body just revolted every time I had to nurse him. I didn't even have unprotected sex this time around until I weaned my second for fear of going through the same thing again. I still find it amazing when people talk about happily nursing in pregnancy/tandeming. It's such a foreign concept to me!

[kriket]

Originally Posted by D_McG 

Originally Posted by kriket 

I just assumed I would nurse through this Pgcy, and tandem, but OMG, nursing while pregnant isn't what my breasts were intended for! I really think they are a one at a time body part! I thought I was going to crawl out of my skin and die when DS would nurse.

lol I had the same experience. I found it REVOLTING. Like my whole body just revolted every time I had to nurse him. I didn't even have unprotected sex this time around until I weaned my second for fear of going through the same thing again. I still find it amazing when people talk about happily nursing in pregnancy/tandeming. It's such a foreign concept to me!

I know it's not as 'granola' as some would like it, but I really felt like mother nature was slapping me right  in the face saying "This baby is DONE nursing!!  MOVE ON!"   I always wondered how we would wean, and I never thought about me weaning him, I would have happily nursed for at least another year. His little brother had different plans!

I really did assume I would nurse through pregnancy. Never in a million years did I think we would be done. I was actually hesitant about weaning even with the overwhelming urge to detach my breasts and run away while DS was nursing. I was a little bit skeptical of the stories I had heard about the "creeps" from nursing toddlers. Like it was something society placed in our heads, that nursing older babies was "dirty" moms "do it for their own reasons" etc.

But it's really just as simple as the Heebie-jeebies! Something about pregnancy hormone and nursing don't always click.

Plus I lost weight, which has NEVER happened without tons of sweating and a striking lack of haagan-das

[TiredX2]

Another person here who found tandem nursing very helpful.  There were a number of reasons.  I think the biggest is it provided such a reassurance to DD (31 months when DS was born) that we still had that connection. 

I definately had pain and "the icks" nursing while pregnant (then again when nursing both kids at the same time when DS was around 5 months).  What I did (other than cut back some) was practice my deep labor relaxation while DD nursed.  You know how in some methods they suggest you do something like hold ice while practicing your relaxation (so you get used to relaxing during something distracting and painful)--- well, I didn't need to do that!  I just practiced while DD nursed and it definately prepared me for labor, lol.  I was having 90 second-2 minute contractions less than three minutes apart and didn't realize I was in active labor (okay, I was freaking because I was thinking, "how am I going to get through this if early labor is so hard!?!?!" once I found out that it was hard core labor I felt *much* better!).

I think you should feel great about nursing this long AND I think you should do whatever works best for all of you (baby, toddler & you), but I also wanted to mention a HUGE reason that I continued nursing through pregnancy and then tandem nursed: I felt I owed it to DD.  It was *my* choice to have another child before she was done with her need to nurse and I didn't feel like she should be punished for my decision, kwim.  Now, I did set way more limits than I would have ideally, but I did try to respect her natural timing as much as possible as well.

Good luck and enjoy your pregnancy!

[isabchi]

I been Tandem nursing for more than 2 1/2 years. I'm in the end of this stage. My oldest is in the way out at almost 6 yo. I have very ick moments at the first couple months post partum, but I'll survived and I great I didn't give up. I'm  been grateful of my decision of tandem because I believe that is up to my kids the time of weaning, second, the oldest is didn;t feel out emotionally after my youngest born. Third, I believe that is better for their development to wean closer to they have they first definitive tooth. Fourth, this is the first winter that my kids were sick and I been grateful that they were strong and get better soon,.

[DevaMajka]

Thanks for all the opinions and stories. It's nice to hear that I'm not the only ap'er who feels like pg and nursing do not go together. lol. I also like hearing the stories about how tandem nursing did make your life easier. I guess at the moment, I feel like I should put some major limits in place (starting with nightweaning), and see where that takes us. I would like to let him make the final weaning decision, ie: when to cut out the last nursing session. So maybe that will still happen?

 

Originally Posted by TiredX2 

 I was having 90 second-2 minute contractions less than three minutes apart and didn't realize I was in active labor (okay, I was freaking because I was thinking, "how am I going to get through this if early labor is so hard!?!?!" once I found out that it was hard core labor I felt *much* better!).

I was exactly the same way! I was freaking out because I didn't know how I was going to cope when it got worse! Little did I know, that it was already worse. lol.