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post #41 of 74

DD was obsessed with Les Mis around the ages of 4-5 (and could read).  She thought that "Pimp" was a name, oh well.

 

I have not yet faced this issue, but I have a huge issue with songs that advocate mysogony/abuse/racism/etc...  I have no issues with songs that discuss masturbation, reasonable drug & alcohol use and other "adult" matters.  To me, there is a serious difference and accepting the second group is not simply being accepting of your child.  I wouldn't be accepting of my child spewing hatred of their own, I think I would feel the same if they were spewing lyrics that made things that make me physicallly ill into something "cool."  I view it as I view pornography/pornographic images.  I think the human body is beautiful and assume that my children will eventually have *some* contact with porn.  If it's "erotica" or images, though, IMO it can be part of a healthy worldview.  If my kids were watching porn on the internet that involved animals, child rape, etc... Nope.  I don't need to accept that in my home to be accepting of my children.

 

I guess what I'm getting at is we all have different lines that we're willing to die on.  There *is* music out there that I would be willing to say, "not around me/in my house" to.

post #42 of 74

Is your 10-year-old the oldest? or youngest? I guess I'm wondering where he's getting his exposure. At 10, my DD was totally oblivious and didn't care about pop culture. We listened to CD's around the house and in the car instead of the radio. We didn't watch much in the way of TV with her. Her friends were all into the Disney channel and so hooked on those singers but it was pretty much limited to that. Even at 14, she's far more into musicals which aren't squeaky clean but not typically violent, abusive, ect. My DS, currently 10 knows more about the pop world due to having a big sister but still, his exposure isn't so much that he's singing about abuse, rape, ect.

 

Where would you say your DS is getting it from?

 

 

post #43 of 74
Quote:
Originally Posted by whatsnextmom View Post

Is your 10-year-old the oldest? or youngest? I guess I'm wondering where he's getting his exposure. At 10, my DD was totally oblivious and didn't care about pop culture. We listened to CD's around the house and in the car instead of the radio. We didn't watch much in the way of TV with her. Her friends were all into the Disney channel and so hooked on those singers but it was pretty much limited to that. Even at 14, she's far more into musicals which aren't squeaky clean but not typically violent, abusive, ect. My DS, currently 10 knows more about the pop world due to having a big sister but still, his exposure isn't so much that he's singing about abuse, rape, ect.

 

Where would you say your DS is getting it from?

 

 


I also wondered this, but I figured it was just a regional/neighborhood thing.  I definately feel like DD is not to this point at all, yet, and she is in 7th grade (which is junior high here).  Mostly, though, it's making me feel lucky!  She'll still listen to Alphabuts, lol.

 


 

 

post #44 of 74

Haha, when I was 10 or 11, one of my favorite songs was "sit on my face" by Monty Python (found a bunch of their comedy cassettes at the base thrift store, and between them and Weird Al I was hooked!).  I loved that song, I played it super loud.  I thought it was talking about sitting on someone's face and farting or just being silly.  I can't believe that my parents ignored it (super straight laced arch conservative) but I bet it was because trying to explain what the lyrics would have been worse than just putting in the earplugs and letting it be.  :)

 

I actually enjoy talking about song lyrics with my kids.  Unfortunately I don't get the opportunity much because DD is on a j-pop/c-pop/k-pop kick, so neither of us understand any of the lyrics since we don't speak Japanese, Mandarin (or Cantonese), or Korean!  :D  And we don't have cable and DD is not allowed unrestricted access to You Tube, so seeing videos just doesn't happen yet.

post #45 of 74
Quote:
Originally Posted by Karalina View Post

And he would rather die than hear my music--- he is all about the top 10 radio stations and whet they play at the roller rink and what his friends listen to at this point- but i will keep it in mind for the future-



I was thinking (tongue-in-cheek) that the more you pretend to like it the less he'll listen to it. :)

 

I'm not sure throwing is a good thing but you know what? I bet he will remember your reaction for a long time, and since you discussed the reasons for it, your values.

 

I guess I'm learning in this conversation that music is one way to have a conversation with our kids...we're not quite there yet but I am filing it away for later.

post #46 of 74


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tigerchild View Post

Haha, when I was 10 or 11, one of my favorite songs was "sit on my face" by Monty Python (

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by TiredX2 View Post

DD was obsessed with Les Mis around the ages of 4-5 (and could read). 

Thanks to you two, I've had "Sit on my face" and "Master of the House" alternating in my head all afternoon. It's driving me bonkers. I'm going go listen to some Lady Gaga and see if I can drown them out!
 

 

(has every one seen the You Tube video of Christopher Walken reading "Poker Face" lyrics like a dramatic reading? Should I link it?)

 

post #47 of 74
Thread Starter 

So.......................... my boy gets his music interests from school and the skating rink where he goes on Friday nights with his friends-- and it's a christian run place!! but they play Top 40-

The irony is that we were very very very sheltered from the pop culture until about 2 years ago bc he was at the Waldorf School and then homeschooled--- He is the oldest by the way and now the 7 yo and 4 yo love the Top 40!!!

I guess I was just horrified to think this was Top 40!!! It certainly wasn't Top 40 Casey Casum i grew up with!

BUT (hold on to your hats!) there has been major progress on my part. I was thinking how some of you will be proud of me as i have been working on being more open minded and less reactive.

So I don't think i told you girls on here that my son got a concussion on Tuesday- long story but a basket ball goal metal pole landed on his head- ER and everything- so he is on rest at home-- this has given us time to sit together on the couch and watch some movies on Netflix together and look at Youtube on my ipod touch--- so he says "I don't know if you'll like this or not" and he shows me parodies of the Rihanna Eminem song and some Kesha Parodies and he totally gets how funny they are because they are exaggerating what the actual songs talk about- I swear i was laughing so hard with him and I really got to see that he's not going to behave these ways bc he hears the music (lightbulb moment!!) and I just got this feeling to just go with it and stop being so negative about it - and even though i don't see myself as Prudish- i AM prudish by today's standards! The other night in bed- he said "you know Mom- you see those songs as the way real life is and I just see them as pop songs." gold nugget!!

We were riding in the car and the Rihanna Eminem song came on- and he begged to hear it- (mind you this is the one that I threw across the car) so I braced myself, took a  deep breath and said OK. So we listened--- he sang it- and at the end he said "Mom, you MADE it all the way through the song!" and he high-fived me. And when i just listened to the song- I didn't mind it so much- if you can see that this guy in the song is really struggling with himself---- and my boy doesn't even get that far into it to analyze it before the next song comes on (about partying or sex! LOL!)   After the song, I told him that i wanted him to know that it was hard for me and that I consciously made myself see his point of view instead of being inflexibly stuck in my viewpoint-- and that i thought it was important to be open minded and flexible, and not impose your viewpoints on others. I told him he had helped me grow as a person. (I also realized what the love we feel for our kids can motivate us to do- to break through negative traits that we have and to expand).

The motto- "If you can't beat 'em Join 'em " has been going through my head.

 We have been listening to all of his music. And we have been getting along better than we have in forever. He is hugging me, and even came up and kissed the top of my head as I was typing this. So what if there's bleeped out bad words or occasional not-beeped out bad words- he is not taking this seriously--- I truly feel like i have busted through a huge barrier, and your viewpoints here helped to support me to do that. Thank you.

post #48 of 74

Well done.

post #49 of 74

Ugh...im going to go live in a cabin in the middle of nowhere to get my kid away from this sh*t(I wish).  Its a horrible,putrid,disgusting culture we live in.  

post #50 of 74
Quote:
Originally Posted by Syriani369 View Post

Ugh...im going to go live in a cabin in the middle of nowhere to get my kid away from this sh*t(I wish).  Its a horrible,putrid,disgusting culture we live in.  


No worse than it's ever been. 

 

post #51 of 74

I'm on the young side here and I feel like the music today is "@^#^%" compared to what it used to be. At least people used to sing and PLAY INSTRUMENTS...

Now any chick who can shake her butt in a provacative way can be a "star". No actual talent required. Auto-tune has destroyed music. 

 

At least when people used to sing about sex and drugs they actually sang it. I cannot stand any music I hear on the radio anymore, it disgusts me, not because of the profanity etc although I think that is just stupid too but because of the OBVIOUS lack of talent people have and it is considered music...


Then again DH and I were born in the wrong decade and DD (a toddler) gets huge helpings of the Grateful Dead, Zeppelin, Beatles, and all sorts of hippy jam music. If she wants to listen to today's trash she is going to have to wait until I don't control the radio anymore because I won't be turning it on anytime soon and if she wants to buy those kinds of cds or itunes songs (how times have changed) she can do it when she can pay for them herself.

 

I know that people have been singing about sex etc... for decades but to me these days it is soooo much more trashy and dare I use the word the women practically roll around like strippers in their videos. I guess you have to dress like you are working the red light district when you have no talent to back you up....I feel very old fashioned saying all this and I am only 25bag.gif

post #52 of 74
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ldavis24 View Post

I'm on the young side here and I feel like the music today is "@^#^%" compared to what it used to be. At least people used to sing and PLAY INSTRUMENTS...

Now any chick who can shake her butt in a provacative way can be a "star". No actual talent required. Auto-tune has destroyed music. 

 

At least when people used to sing about sex and drugs they actually sang it. I cannot stand any music I hear on the radio anymore, it disgusts me, not because of the profanity etc although I think that is just stupid too but because of the OBVIOUS lack of talent people have and it is considered music...


Then again DH and I were born in the wrong decade and DD (a toddler) gets huge helpings of the Grateful Dead, Zeppelin, Beatles, and all sorts of hippy jam music. If she wants to listen to today's trash she is going to have to wait until I don't control the radio anymore because I won't be turning it on anytime soon and if she wants to buy those kinds of cds or itunes songs (how times have changed) she can do it when she can pay for them herself.

 

I know that people have been singing about sex etc... for decades but to me these days it is soooo much more trashy and dare I use the word the women practically roll around like strippers in their videos. I guess you have to dress like you are working the red light district when you have no talent to back you up....I feel very old fashioned saying all this and I am only 25bag.gif



Honestly, I think music is far more lyrical today than say, in the 90's. At least you can understand what they are saying now lol. Every generation tends to think the music past their own teen years is junk. Every generation thinks the next is corrupt in some way. Fact is, I've seen little from DD's generation that is worse than say the "Girls on Film" video Duran Duran made in the 80's. My generation listened to Madonna... um, "Like a Virgin" and "Papa don't Preach" weren't exactly innocent. How many times did Michael Jackson grab his crotch? My parents music, not so innocent either in the late 60's and 70's.

 

I will say, I do like some of the newer stuff out. I like Train for example. They aren't young guys but they have songs on the charts. Sure, there are a few songs on the radio that make you cringe but at least the younger generation has some options. There is still plenty of bubble gum pop and with ipods and MP3 players, you don't ever have to listen to the radio and hear anything you don't want to hear! If you go on itunes, many of the bands offer "radio versions" of their songs without cussing and tamed a touch. Like Cee-lo's "Forget You" is a groovy song.... just don't want to listen to the CD version lol. You know what my DD and her friends favorite band is right now? The Beatles. I tease them about how they were old when I was a kid but they love them. My 14-year-old has a Beatles lunch box lol.

 

I really don't know why some kids get all obsessed with pop-culture and others don't. I've been pretty happy with what my kids have picked and chosen from what is offered them.

 

 

 

post #53 of 74


Karalina, 

I am happy to know about the change of course you took and that it is improving your relationship with your son! That is so touching!

 I do hope he recovers from his concussion! BTW, Ds went to a Waldorf school until he was 7, so I understand where you are coming from.

When DS 13 had to do an assignment for his music class last fall he chose the Rolling Stones. He discovered, and I rediscovered hippy music.  It is great! We both love listening to it:  The Rollingstones, Beatles, Led Zeppelin, Jimmy Hendrix, and the Kinks, the Who.......

 I agree with Ldavis24, It really was a great period of music, so much more original than now and yes, they all could play their own instruments and write their own songs and could also improvise on them in concert, (which many of the younger performers today can’t do) My son has realised this on his own too and although he still listens to the top 40, he definitely likes other things now too.


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ldavis24 View Post

I'm on the young side here and I feel like the music today is "@^#^%" compared to what it used to be. At least people used to sing and PLAY INSTRUMENTS...

Now any chick who can shake her butt in a provacative way can be a "star". No actual talent required. Auto-tune has destroyed music. 

 

At least when people used to sing about sex and drugs they actually sang it. I cannot stand any music I hear on the radio anymore, it disgusts me, not because of the profanity etc although I think that is just stupid too but because of the OBVIOUS lack of talent people have and it is considered music...


Then again DH and I were born in the wrong decade and DD (a toddler) gets huge helpings of the Grateful Dead, Zeppelin, Beatles, and all sorts of hippy jam music. If she wants to listen to today's trash she is going to have to wait until I don't control the radio anymore because I won't be turning it on anytime soon and if she wants to buy those kinds of cds or itunes songs (how times have changed) she can do it when she can pay for them herself.

 

I know that people have been singing about sex etc... for decades but to me these days it is soooo much more trashy and dare I use the word the women practically roll around like strippers in their videos. I guess you have to dress like you are working the red light district when you have no talent to back you up....I feel very old fashioned saying all this and I am only 25bag.gif



 


Edited by raksmama - 4/9/11 at 2:16pm
post #54 of 74
Quote:
Originally Posted by whatsnextmom View Post





Honestly, I think music is far more lyrical today than say, in the 90's. At least you can understand what they are saying now lol. Every generation tends to think the music past their own teen years is junk. Every generation thinks the next is corrupt in some way. Fact is, I've seen little from DD's generation that is worse than say the "Girls on Film" video Duran Duran made in the 80's. My generation listened to Madonna... um, "Like a Virgin" and "Papa don't Preach" weren't exactly innocent. How many times did Michael Jackson grab his crotch? My parents music, not so innocent either in the late 60's and 70's.

 

I will say, I do like some of the newer stuff out. I like Train for example. They aren't young guys but they have songs on the charts. Sure, there are a few songs on the radio that make you cringe but at least the younger generation has some options. There is still plenty of bubble gum pop and with ipods and MP3 players, you don't ever have to listen to the radio and hear anything you don't want to hear! If you go on itunes, many of the bands offer "radio versions" of their songs without cussing and tamed a touch. Like Cee-lo's "Forget You" is a groovy song.... just don't want to listen to the CD version lol. You know what my DD and her friends favorite band is right now? The Beatles. I tease them about how they were old when I was a kid but they love them. My 14-year-old has a Beatles lunch box lol.

 

I really don't know why some kids get all obsessed with pop-culture and others don't. I've been pretty happy with what my kids have picked and chosen from what is offered them.

 

 

 



I guess my point was I thought the music from my teen years and on is junk. I was 13 in 1999, I was fairly aware of the music around me starting probably around 10 or so...middle school aged. I still think it was all crap. Seriously just bad music. 3 Chord bands make me want to puke, then we have the stupid acoustic "revolution" with all the whiniest most angsty &@^$% you could ever want. Now it is stuff that isn't even made with real instruments. Nobody needs actual vocal talent (unless you are trying out for American Idol, sort of) or the skill to play instruments in ways that don't just copy somebody else. 

 

I am not even talking so much about "innocence" who cares anyway. I completely agree that music hasn't gotten any crazier in the sense that it is STILL all about sex and drugs and stuff like that. My point is that the quality of music and the depth of lyrics IMO has decreased to the point where some rich little teenage brat can make her dad pay for her to record a song and make a video (look up Friday song teenager on youtube). Don't have talent...thats ok we can auto-tune it! I guess I am a music snob (DH loudly proclaims about himself to the point where I roll my eyes at him) because I think there are few real musical innovators today. Everyone just copies everyone else and none of it is good to me. 

post #55 of 74
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ldavis24 View Post





I guess my point was I thought the music from my teen years and on is junk. I was 13 in 1999, I was fairly aware of the music around me starting probably around 10 or so...middle school aged. I still think it was all crap. Seriously just bad music. 3 Chord bands make me want to puke, then we have the stupid acoustic "revolution" with all the whiniest most angsty &@^$% you could ever want. Now it is stuff that isn't even made with real instruments. Nobody needs actual vocal talent (unless you are trying out for American Idol, sort of) or the skill to play instruments in ways that don't just copy somebody else. 

 

I am not even talking so much about "innocence" who cares anyway. I completely agree that music hasn't gotten any crazier in the sense that it is STILL all about sex and drugs and stuff like that. My point is that the quality of music and the depth of lyrics IMO has decreased to the point where some rich little teenage brat can make her dad pay for her to record a song and make a video (look up Friday song teenager on youtube). Don't have talent...thats ok we can auto-tune it! I guess I am a music snob (DH loudly proclaims about himself to the point where I roll my eyes at him) because I think there are few real musical innovators today. Everyone just copies everyone else and none of it is good to me. 


This I do have to agree with. Now I do like listening to someone the new stuff, but if I had to choose between that or the stuff from before auto-tune, it's gonna be before. There was a time you could go to a concert and expect the singer to be on key. Now you're lucky if they can even manage to stay in the right octave.

 

post #56 of 74
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ldavis24 View Post





I guess my point was I thought the music from my teen years and on is junk. I was 13 in 1999, I was fairly aware of the music around me starting probably around 10 or so...middle school aged. I still think it was all crap. Seriously just bad music. 3 Chord bands make me want to puke, then we have the stupid acoustic "revolution" with all the whiniest most angsty &@^$% you could ever want. Now it is stuff that isn't even made with real instruments. Nobody needs actual vocal talent (unless you are trying out for American Idol, sort of) or the skill to play instruments in ways that don't just copy somebody else. 

 

I am not even talking so much about "innocence" who cares anyway. I completely agree that music hasn't gotten any crazier in the sense that it is STILL all about sex and drugs and stuff like that. My point is that the quality of music and the depth of lyrics IMO has decreased to the point where some rich little teenage brat can make her dad pay for her to record a song and make a video (look up Friday song teenager on youtube). Don't have talent...thats ok we can auto-tune it! I guess I am a music snob (DH loudly proclaims about himself to the point where I roll my eyes at him) because I think there are few real musical innovators today. Everyone just copies everyone else and none of it is good to me. 



I get what you are saying, but thing is, it doesn't really matter if it's crap. Kids don't generally want to listen to what their parents listen to. My parents were folk musicians. I was around all sorts of fantastic song writers. I didn't think twice about the fact that Sam Hinton was sitting in my living room. It was "ugh, folk music." I listened to Wham lol who was total crap... but fun, and different from what my parents listened too. DH is a major classic rock fiend. The kids listened to that stuff when they were younger. My 10-year-old still is. My 14-year-old is very eclectic but I tell you, if *I* like it, well, it's not very good apparantly.

 

Every generation produces a lot of crap but we tend to only look back at the best stuff. Even then, what is "good" all depends on perspective. My MIL is in her 70's and outside of the Eagles, doesn't think any good music exists outside of Dixieland Jazz. I get that you think everything is crap right now but fact is, it's not ALL crap. What you are getting access too is limited and frankly, the music industry is far more to blame than the talent of todays generation. We're around a lot of really talented kids. I've heard some fantastic songs written by teenagers but they aren't going to sell. I also know a couple kids who have done the "buy a producer" thing and got agents right away. Can't really blame the kids nor the talent for the fact that the recording industry only wants to sell one thing. It'll turn around.

 

 

 

post #57 of 74
Quote:
Originally Posted by whatsnextmom View Post


Every generation produces a lot of crap but we tend to only look back at the best stuff. Even then, what is "good" all depends on perspective. My MIL is in her 70's and outside of the Eagles, doesn't think any good music exists outside of Dixieland Jazz. I get that you think everything is crap right now but fact is, it's not ALL crap.

 


Exactly. There is crap and good stuff in every time period. The reason we hear all the good stuff from "the good old days" is because the rest was crap! In 20/30/50 years? They'll be saying the same about today's music.

 

And yes, a lot IS all about what one likes. Ask my Dad? There has been no good music written/produced since, oh.... maybe 1880. Perspective.

 

post #58 of 74
Quote:
Originally Posted by mtiger View Post

 There has been no good music written/produced since, oh.... maybe 1880. Perspective.

 


No, I'm pretty sure that's an objective fact.

 

 

 

 

 

lol.gif

 

post #59 of 74

Wow. That song is intense. Honestly, the message I got out of it is that if you're doing crazy stuff in the name of so-called "love" break up ASAP, because no matter how much you promise to change you will just get worse and worse and worse. And if you're the one who's getting told again and again to come back, it'll be different, I love you, I promise, to RUN.

 

Explain to your ds that he can listen to the song once he's old enough to have a discussion about the meaning behind the lyrics. And then, when you think he's ready, let him read some stuff on abusive relationships and point out that the song outlines a classic abuse pattern down to the lines said.

 

Honestly, I don't think the song should be on the radio, because it'd be triggering for any domestic abuse survivor.

 

1880 misses out on Take Five, Dvorak's Requiem,  and Teddy Bear's picnic.

 

Encompasses plenty of racy racy stuff, and violence, though.

 

 

post #60 of 74
Quote:
Originally Posted by whatsnextmom View Post





I get what you are saying, but thing is, it doesn't really matter if it's crap. Kids don't generally want to listen to what their parents listen to. My parents were folk musicians. I was around all sorts of fantastic song writers. I didn't think twice about the fact that Sam Hinton was sitting in my living room. It was "ugh, folk music." I listened to Wham lol who was total crap... but fun, and different from what my parents listened too. DH is a major classic rock fiend. The kids listened to that stuff when they were younger. My 10-year-old still is. My 14-year-old is very eclectic but I tell you, if *I* like it, well, it's not very good apparantly.

 

Every generation produces a lot of crap but we tend to only look back at the best stuff. Even then, what is "good" all depends on perspective. My MIL is in her 70's and outside of the Eagles, doesn't think any good music exists outside of Dixieland Jazz. I get that you think everything is crap right now but fact is, it's not ALL crap. What you are getting access too is limited and frankly, the music industry is far more to blame than the talent of todays generation. We're around a lot of really talented kids. I've heard some fantastic songs written by teenagers but they aren't going to sell. I also know a couple kids who have done the "buy a producer" thing and got agents right away. Can't really blame the kids nor the talent for the fact that the recording industry only wants to sell one thing. It'll turn around.

 

 

 

Actually I should be more clear...I am around a lot of newer music today...We (as a family now) go to a lot of shows/festivals that very often showcase/feature new and local emerging artists. There is some really fabulous stuff out there but you will NEVER hear it on MTV (not that they play music anymore anyway). So in that accord I totally agree with you! 

 

I'm not looking to be convinced that there is tons of good music out there today. I know there are some really talented people making some really great music in places all over the country...However, what I am talking about is POP music...which no matter what anyone wants to defend it with, IMO is just total crap...I have a secret soft spot for Lady Gaga but she has lost me recently. 

 

Music is a really really hard topic to find agreement on in any circle of people. DH and I disagree about a lot of stuff and I tend to disagree with most of our friends...It's not a big deal, I actually find it fascinating how 2 people can hear the same song and get something completely different out of it...No one can tell me there are many redeeming qualities in the pop music of today though. Music to me is actually playing instruments...and singing using your real voice. That doesn't happen anymore. Maybe to someone else it is purely instrumental, who knows.

 

 

Oh I am also fully aware that DD will probably end up hating all the music her super lame parents made her listen to..I expect that to occur right around the tween years. No surprises there... I also look forward to the day when she (hopefully) realizes that there is some music that should go beyond any generational or parental disdain type feeling...Aka the Beatles....

 

I guess I am just actually in somewhat agreement with the OP that I do in fact think Pop music today is total crap...I wouldn't punish a stick by using it to pick that kind of crap off my shoesorngbiggrin.gif
 

 

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