Originally Posted by AllyRae
It's a good lesson for him to learn. Unfortunately, 10 isn't too young. I've seen children as young as 11 and 12 being abused by their "boyfriends". I just helped teach a self defense class to a bunch of girl scouts, ages 6-12. And a lot of the girls on the older end of that spectrum knew friends who had been hit by a "boyfriend" (I put it in quotes because I don't know that I consider children that age to be coupled.)
So, it's not too young for that conversation... :(
I agree it isn't to young, nor should it be about boys hitting girls.
My just turned 13 year old was laughing with about her friends because "so-in-so" gave their boyfriend a black eye. After getting the scoop on the situation, I pointed out to the girls it wasn't funny. Their "friend" is abusive. Nobody, of any gender has a right to act like the girl was.
My dh and I are concerned about early "dating" or pairing up. These preteens and young teens don't have the skill. We have seen and heard of some weird stuff. My 13 year old has talked about one situation were the girl was spreading rumor the guy was gay because he wouldn't let her touch him (privates). I asked my dd why this guy was less of a "man" because he wasn't ready for sex. That situation shows more what is wrong with her not him. I also let her know, not all boys are physically mature at that age. I asked dd how she would have felt if the guy put pressure on her to let him touch when she wasn't ready. There is one girl at the school that got suspended because she thought it was funny and OK to grab boys crotches.
My dh and I have both corrected our dd because she said she was going to hit a boy upside the head, because he hung up on her. We were like WTF. We asked her what she was going to do when and if he hits back. We chalanged her to think about the appropriateness of her "idol" talk.
There is a lot of peer pressure to grow up way to fast.
I have talked to abuse, cycle of abuse, with our kids. We have made the decision gender neutral, I would hate my kids to get into a same sex relationship, and them to feel their was no way out or it couldn't happen to them.
We have used songs like Good Bye Earl by Dixie Chicks to "I like the way you lie" ...............one long on going conversation about abuse and how to have respectful relationship. The songs mention are new but there have many songs Carry Underwood and Miranda Lambert both have songs that started conversations. There has been other songs but at 2AM they are not coming to my mind. In part, I think it is because we don't generally listen to the music that has a lot domestic violence.
One person mentioned Glenn Miller. I have to remind that person that "In the Mood" is just about that ;) Lot of Ragtime and Blues has sexual and/or violent lyrics.
We have had talked about Rhiana's S&M song. Dh and I remember "Sticks and Stones may break my bones, but whips and chains excite me." from our younger years. What you do in your bedroom is your business. Some people like that stuff and there is nothing wrong as long as it is mutually agreed to and in a "safe" environment. S&M is not new or from one culture you can find it through out http://www.wellcome.ac.uk/en/pain/microsite/culture1.html My kids heard me talk about "little Nikki" and how my mom handled it compared to a friend of mine. I learned what Trojans were and responcible sex.