Would you LIE to your Midwife or OB about your LMP? - Page 2

[Full Heart]

From someone who has had 8 post dates babies (thats 8 babies past 42 weeks, yes I know insane) this is what I did.  I tell my mws when I got pg and what my edd is.  I do not let them tell me when I am due.  If they ask when my lmp is I tell them 2 weeks before I ovulated.  Think that solves my problem?  NO WAY.  I go to 42 weeks based on when I get pg, not my lmp.  Every time.  Heck, if I went by my lmp I would have had 46 week long pgs!  Nope, I still go to 42 weeks and still have gotten risked out.  Can they force you to induce?  No, but they can drop you.  And yes it happens, even with back up.  Actually thats when its usually the worst because the mw can lose her back up and its just a nasty mess. (can you tell I have btdt?) Yes, I have lied but the mw knew I was lying, because she knew I would go late.  Did not make a difference because I ended up being induced for PIH.  Now, expecting my 9th, I have been very honest with my mws about my edd.  I am due on Saturday.  Given what happened last time I wanted to be able to get BPPs done at the end so I could keep track of how the baby was doing (The baby was not moving and I didn't realize it was as bad as it was and my placenta calcified very rapidly right at the end.  It went from a few spots 6 days past edd to almost completely calcified 16 days past my edd).  I found a mw, which is possible even given the laws, that would take me with my history knowing I won't induce based on dates alone.  I can get my bpps if I want/need them, but I can also go to 42+ weeks without being dropped.  So would I lie?  Yes, does it help?  Not usually. The best thing you can do is find someone to support you even if you do go past 42 weeks.

[BetsyS]

I did with my last pregnancy.

I knew that I was facing a likely repeat c-section at 39 weeks (39 weeks being the standard where I am for elective repeats), because I'd had 2 previous c-sections.  I'd gone 41 and 42 weeks prior, so I did NOT want a 39 week baby. 

I added 10 days to my LMP, delivered at 39 weeks according to them, at what was in reality 40+3.  Everything was fine.

Next time, I'll do the same, knowing that I'm again facing a repeat c-section at whatever they consider 39 weeks. 

[Comtessa]

I'm with FullHeart; I don't ever let my HCP's tell me when I am due.  When they whisk out the Wheel of Destiny and ask for my LMP, I simply say, "my due date is ______."  If they push for an LMP, I smile blandly and repeat, "my due date is _______."  After a while, they give up, or if they really need an LMP for paperwork, they count backwards from the date I give them. 

DD was born one day before her EDD as I calculated it, but if I'd gone by LMP she would have been 42 weeks.  According to the pediatrician who saw her the day she was born, her gestational age was exactly 40 weeks.  If I'd allowed them to calculate my EDD for me, I would have ended up with an induction for sure; my OB was pretty touchy about any patient going past 41 weeks. 

[mrsberman]

I don't think I could lie, but my MW told me that if I were to ever go to a hospital or somewhere that she wasn't, then to tell them my last lmp was xx/xx date. Like others, my cycle is longer than the typical 28 day cycle and the computer systems in the hospitals around here do not recognize the longer cycle. I guess to avoid confusion telling a white lie isn't that big of a deal.

[erigeron]

As far as I'm concerned, the purpose of giving an LMP is to calculate a due date. I knew my ovulation date so I gave them the LMP date that gave the same due date as my ovulation date. I don't consider this dishonest because I gave them the most accurate data available. And the only reason I did this was because I told the MA taking my history that I knew my ovulation date and she kept insisting on getting my LMP date, so finally I told her "Well, you might as well write down XXX, even though that isn't accurate", and that's what she did. (I later switched practices.)

[happyhippie]

How about this idea OP, why lie? Just stand up for your rights and steer clear of an induction. I was 42 weeks and made sure no one touched me. However, I was willing to just show up at the hospital ready to go if need be. You can do it! Your body, your rights.

[AlexisT]

Sure, you can do that, but sometimes, that may be the difference between losing your care provider and not. In some places, midwives cannot care for patients past 42 weeks, or may have an agreement with an OB that prevents it.

[redpajama]

I don't advocate lying to your midwife about your LMP, or anything else.  If you are hiring her for her knowledge and her judgement, what purpose does it serve to impair both by giving her misinformation.  

Also, it might come back to bite you, so to speak, if you go into labor early--when you are, say, 37 weeks pregnant and she believes you to be 35-36 weeks.  In the practice I work in, that would risk you out for a home birth, and unnecessarily so, if you were lying about your LMP in the first place.

I think the best thing to do is to be honest with her about your LMP but also about your concerns.  Most midwives I know would be very reasonable.  She may be willing to to continue care beyond 41-42 weeks with a little extra monitoring of some sort, or she may just want to have a conversation with you to be sure you are aware of the statistics surrounding outcomes at 41, 42, 43 weeks.  

Anyway, in my opinion, she is entitled to accurate information.  If you won't give her that, don't hire her.

[GOPLawyer]

If I could not not find a HCP that I trusted, I would consider it (of course, if I found such a person, I wouldn't have to lie).  I certainly understand lying to a HCP due to our current medical model in the US.  Mamas shouldn't have to lie but the fact is, Mamas are essentially not given a choice.  Telling the truth isn't always the best choice.  Long story short...had I lied to the doctors when in the hospital for PTL, my DD would likely not have been born at just 30 weeks.

Not everyone is comfortable lying to a HCP but for other Mamas, it's the best course of action.  Go with your instincts, Mama!

[Magali]

I would absolutely lie.  I have 37 day cycles and most Dr.s refuse to take that into consideration when setting a "due date".  If I ever get pg again I will lie about when my LMP was.  My dd was born 2 weeks after her "due date".  I did stand up for my rights and refuse induction.

[Jaimee]

I've seen OB's, CNM's, and CPM's for prenatal care.  At the OB they refused to listen to me about my conception date and only wanted my LMP.  With my longer cycles, this would have been quite inaccurate, but I knew that I wasn't staying with them so I didn't care.  If I had been staying with them, I would absolutely have subtracted 14 days from my conception date to come up with a fake LMP that gave me my correct due date. 

With the CNM's they wanted my LMP, but did listen to me when insisted that I knew my conception date.  It took a bit of explaining and demanding, but then they actually asked me which due date I wanted and I obviously picked the later one.  The 20 week u/s gave me a slightly earlier due date and they asked if I wanted to switch dates.  I, of course, kept choosing the latest date.

With the CPM I worked with last time, she just asked for my due date.  She also would have been completely fine with me going past 42 weeks as long as everything continued to look good.

So I think the answer to your question depends greatly on the type of provider you choose.  I don't think it's ever a problem to make up an LMP (by subtracting 2 weeks) if you're certain of your ovulation day.  If you have to go with an OB or midwife practice that you know will induce you or risk you out for going late then I would definitely consider fudging by a week and then make sure you receive careful monitoring if you make it to that extra week.  Standing up for your right not to be induced is great, but they can drop you from their practice and that means you'd end up in the ER to deliver or having a UC.  You might be fine with either of these options or you might not be.

[redpajama]

Just to clarify, I responded to the OP who (1) stated that she is planning on working with a home birth midwife during her next pregnancy and (2) did not mention longer-than-average cycles or even later-than-average ovulation, only that her first pregnancy went to 42 weeks (before being induced).  

Giving an "LMP" date that is not technically true, but that is "accurate" within the 28-day-cycle model that most care providers employ (so, subtracting 14 days from your ovulation date, if you know it, or adding as many days as your cycle is over 28 days--for example, adding 6 days to your actual LMP if you have a 34 day cycle) is *not* the same, in my opinion, as giving an arbitrarily made-up LMP because your last pregnancy last longer than 40 weeks and you have a feeling it's going to happen again.  In the first case, you are providing your care provider with the most accurate information (in terms of accurately dating the pregnancy), even if you have to give an untrue LMP to do it.  (While I would like to think that an intelligent and reasonable care provider (OB, CNM, CPM or other) would listen and could comprehend that LMP does not always accurately determine a due date, I understand that that is not always the case.)  In the second case, though, you are giving your care provider false information that will lead her/him to false conclusions, and may lead to less-than-optimal decisions being made about your care (transferring you to the hospital for a "preterm" birth that is actually not "preterm," for example).  Most midwives I know are happy to let a pregnancy continue until its natural conclusion, assuming that everything is well, but knowing that a woman is 41, or 42, or 43 weeks when making decisions about how to care for her is pertinent, and a midwife should not be impaired by information you know to be false.

OP, I really think that if you explain your history to your midwife and explain your strong bias against induction, she will be reasonable--especially if you are *also* reasonable about perhaps being seen more frequently after, for example, 41 weeks.  Or, for example, letting her listen for several minutes with the doppler (for reactivity and longer-term variability) after 41-42 weeks.  (I don't know what her protocols are or what would be her comfortable--these are just a couple examples.)

Also, I would remind you that you have had ONE pregnancy.  If you were to survey moms of 2, 3, 4, 5 or more, I bet you'd find a lot of women who had their babies at very different gestations from one pregnancy to the next.  To be sure, some women tend to carry long than 40 weeks (I'm one!), but it is not a given that because your first baby came "later," your second will as well.  We had a client whose first baby came prematurely at 33 weeks who was (understandably so!) very worried about preterm labor in her second.  He was born at 42 weeks on the dot.  I think her 3rd came within a couple days of its EDD.  There's just no telling for sure when your baby will come.  

Good luck--I'm hopeful and relatively confident that you can find a care provider reasonable enough to take your (accurate) information at make wise decisions with it.