Baby in the Bajingo ~ TTC #1 In Our 30's Graduates ~ Spring 2011 - Page 6

[Hykue]

Birdie:  I wouldn't worry too much about it.  I think every practice has a different idea of how much you should gain, and everything I've read says that those "ideal curves" are just that - unrealistic ideals.  No-one gains exactly the recommended amount every month, coming out to exactly the right amount at the end.  You might slow down in the second, you might keep gaining at the same rate, you might gain faster, and from my reading those situations can be (and usually are) just fine.  I'm on the other end of the weight spectrum - I've lost 5 pounds or so.  I'm not great at remembering to eat during the spring/summer/fall.  So I think you're doing better than me.  My doctor was unconcerned, and told me I'd pick up later.  Sounds to me like you have a worrier for a care provider, at least as regarding weight!

Tear:  I will so totally take some of that rain for you.  It's just been getting drier and drier here, and forest fires are becoming a real risk.  It's finally raining right now, but not very hard.  I hope we get a ton and somehow that takes it away from you.  The weather report doesn't look hopeful in that regard, but I can hope anyway, right?

Livingsky:  It's funny, I imagine we're getting really similar weather, but I've been just comfortable.  I'm even still wearing wool long underwear under my shorts (they're thin, but they make me considerably warmer).  I've only taken them off twice.  I have always had a tendency to be cold, though.  I hope I start feeling unnaturally warm before I give birth - feeling warm in late October would be a pleasant change!  Of course, I suppose it would make the reality seem worse afterwards, when I crashed back into my actually-freezing life.  I just realized, I need to listen to more music now that my husband is gone (so Babby can hear my voice and to keep me from getting lonely), and I chose that artist (Danny Schmidt) that I invited you to come to (on very short notice) last fall - when we were both just starting TTC.  It makes me doubly cheery to listen to the album that I bought that night, thinking that you and I both got pregnant since then and have little growing babies inside us.

Val:  I'm so pleased that your DH got to feel significant baby movement.  And maybe a little jealous.  I can hardly wait until I can feel movement sometimes . . . wait, wait, wait.  How about now?  I think I felt one big ol' somersault (that word sure is spelled oddly) about a week ago when I was lying in bed, but that's been it.  Oh well, I know that will pick up in time.

Meander:  I'm sorry about being so hot and uncomfortable.  And about such bad carpal tunnel.  Those braces do make it nearly impossible to type.  I had to wear one for a few months in college, and it was rough trying to type papers.  That was for tendonitis . . . I sure hope it doesn't get worse during pregnancy, it's pretty debilitating for me.  I mean, I have coping strategies, but it can be hard . . . and mine didn't come with numbness, just with inability to grip and pain in certain positions and situations.  I hope you can get that fixed up.

AFM:  Been pretty busy, getting a bunch done.  Now my DH left for work, and I'm trying to maintain momentum instead of getting bogged down again.  In some ways, I think the way to do that is to own my bad moods when I have them.  Yeah, today I was grumpy as hell.  And that's okay.  I had reasons (my previously favorite rooster kicked a broody hen off the nest and (I think) ate one of the eggs, I couldn't find the staple gun to make a box to keep her in, and for pity's sake my kitchen won't clean itself!)  Tomorrow has every chance to be better.  It might be great weather now that we might have a bit of moisture, maybe I'll find the staple gun (or buy a replacement), I have goat babies to watch playing, and I can listen to music if I want to.  But I don't have to feel bad about today being grumpy, either.  I'm enjoying my pregnancy so far, really.  I feel good, except that when I forget to eat it's more of an emergency than it used to be.  My DH is pleased, and even kissed my belly like he was kissing Babby the other day, and that made me feel very joyful and content.  So, tomorrow I hope to be cheery again.  I have SO much to be thankful for.

[tank]

Hey everyone!  This thread is getting some action.

Birdie I agree with everyone else about not worrying too much about weight gain.  I lost 8 pounds in my first trimester and I was freaking.  Then my next appointment I gained 5 back.  I told her how relieved I was and she told me not to worry too much about gaining weight unless it becomes a problem and they can tell when it actually becomes a problem.  She said eveyones body develops into pregnancy differently.  That made me feel better about it and just try and eat healthy and snack a lot on healthy stuff.  She said edamame is a great snack because it is very healthy.

Hukue!  so glad to see you again.  I've been thinking of you.

Glad everyone else is doing good.

I am having sort of a rough time emotionally.  I have been really sensitive and getting upset about stupid things my partner does and really letting it get to me.  They aren't even anything of significance but I am feeling like it's the end of the relationship and wondering what it would like to be a single mom.  It's really weird.  I am happy with him and he is happy with me but I feel like everyday I am worried he will not want to be with me anymore and leave me alone.  This is all on me.  I asked him for help the other night because I was really worried about stressing too much and told him not to take it personally that my hormones are just going crazy and I keep getting upset over nothing.  I don't know what to do.  Hopefully it will pass on it's own. Plus my back has been really killing me.  I got the number for a good chiropracter but I don't know whats keeping me from calling them.  Time?  Other than that I am actually feeling pretty good.  I am not feeling emotional ALL the time.

[LivingSky]

birdie.lee - I'm just going to add one more voice to the "don't worry about weight gain" thing. Everyone gains weigt in pregnancy soooo differently. I was really overweight to start with and I ended up losing for quite a while before starting to gain. At my last appointment I had gained almost 10 lbs from my previous one and I started to stress a bit. But I know I'm eating healthy and regularly and in the end I'm going with that.

I found that my eating habits were pretty normal until around the 18-20 week mark, when I started feeling a lot more hungry than I had before. So I started taking lots of extra snacks to work so I could eat whenever I felt peckish. String cheese and yogurt and apples and bananas and oranges and granola bars and whatever else was fast and easy. Then I could pick whatever was appealing to me that day and that moment. I know myself well enough to know that if there's nothing available that is immediately appealing to me, I'll go out and buy something bad for me. So even if I take WAY too much food with me for lunch and don't end up eating it all, that's still better than running out to buy a chocolate bar

[ValH]

LivingSky – Good luck crib-dresser-car seat shopping!  Sounds like a fun time.  J

Birdie – I agree with everyone else, don’t stress about weight gain too much.  Just focus on being healthy!  I eat whenever I’m hungry, but I just try to make sure it’s healthy – so no cookies, candy, chocolate (well, occasionally, but not often).  I eat a lot of nuts, cheese, bananas, apples, yogurt, etc.  I figure as long as I’m being healthy and not over-eating or eating unhealthy stuff, my body will figure out what it needs to do with the weight. 

Tear78 – Hope you get some sunshine soon! 

Meander – I like you plan of “tricking” yourself by not changing your EDD.  That was if you go early, it’ll be a pleasant surprise!  I hope you can find some relief for your carpel tunnel issues.

Hykue – Movement will definitely pick up as time goes… you should be feeling it regularly in a few weeks, for sure.  I started feeling what I thought was movement around 16 weeks, but wasn’t sure until I was able to see the movement on the U/S and feel it at the same time.  Now I feel it pretty much all the time, sometimes stronger than others (I guess based on positioning).  Oh, and I don’t know how you forget to eat during the day.  If I forget, my body wants to pass out (as has nearly happened at church and in a wedding).  So I eat often… I’m kind of enjoying eating whenever I want and not feeling guilty about it.  ;)

Tank – I’m with you on the hormones!  I haven’t questioned our relationship, but I have questioned DH’s enthusiasm about the baby, more than once.  Usually it’s because I’m getting worked up about something (i.e. crib bedding) and he’s not – he just has a calm demeanor.  I end up crying and sulking, we both end up apologizing, and all is good until my next emotional breakdown.  Oh, the joys of pregnancy! 

Not much to report here.  Going to tour daycares this afternoon, so there’s one thing I can check off my to-do list! 

[ValH]

Anyone have any tips for dealing with hip pain, especially while sleeping?  It's keeping me awake at night.  I already have a lot of pillows that I use in various positions to help with comfort, and one is between my legs, but the hip pain persists.  Suggestions would be greatly appreciated - I miss sleeping! 

[birdie.lee]

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Edited by birdie.lee - 5/7/13 at 12:17pm

[Hykue]

I'm on a water break, so this will be super-brief

Val:  Have you tried sleeping on your back (I know they say not to, but I've read it's okay as long as it doesn't make your legs lose circulation or make you feel faint) with your feet propped up and your knees out to the sides, resting on pillows?  If you can't do that, I think doing Cobbler's Pose during they day has helped my hips to stay relatively happy.  :)

[LivingSky]

I slept on my back until I think 22 or 24 weeks before I finally couldn't any longer (it made it hard to breathe). My midwife was completely fine with me sleeping on my back as long as I paid attention to any warning signs that it was causing problems. She said the only studies that have been done regarding pregnant women lying on their backs had to do with during labour, during contractions, it often caused a drop in the baby's heart rate. Nothing at all about sleeping on your back during pregnancy.

Anyways, I much prefer sleeping on my back. So I dug out my old wedge pillow from when I was in a car accident about a decade ago. It's a big wedge (not one of the little ones) that is about 2 feet long from tapered end to the wedge side, and probably about 8 inches high at the wedge end. I start out almost every night sleeping on my back on the wedge.

Val, I don't know if that's an option for you or if it would even help, but figured I'd mention it! And for anyone out there who is a back sleeper, this is one way to sleep on your back throughout pregnancy. It removes all the pressure from the baby sitting on your spinal cord/blood vessels/etc.

[Tear78]

Val, I have had hip pain this whole pregnancy on and off, and I can't say I found miracle solutions. There are some really good yoga poses that help open up your hips and relieve some of that pain, though. One of them involves doing a chair-sit against the wall and having somebody push your knees towards the wall. Can you picture that? There's probably a picture online somewhere. I try really hard not to sleep on my back, but every night I wake up there a good 3-4 times. It's reassuring to know that it's not so bad, since I have wondered. I figure if I'm ending up there in my sleep my body must not be worried about it. I think lying on my back with my knees bent with a pillow or just crooked to the side helps my hips...but if I lay my legs FLAT while on my back, my hip gets awful.

birdie.lee, I'm glad you're feeling better about eating and that you found some plans to keep healthier food around. Still don't beat yourself for those moments when you MUST...HAVE...CHEETOS. I started laughing when you mentioned the cranky hungry pregnancy monster: for me I get cranky...shaky...slightly nauseous....it's really not something that I can ignore and say "oh well, I'll just wait until dinner." I just try to go for the string cheese if possible, rather than the aforementioned chemical-bombs.

Ok, I know I did a shoddy job replying to everybody but I'm pooped after helping hubby at an outdoor festival. Oh, but guess what...I have a SUNBURN!!!

[birdie.lee]

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Edited by birdie.lee - 5/7/13 at 12:17pm

[meander]

Val: I am also struggling with the hip pain. I end up sleeping on my back most nights, at least for a while, because it's the only relief I can get; neither side is any good for my hips no matter what I do with pillows! I just try and prop my torso up with a pillow or three, as much as I can, and put my knees up on another one (otherwise the knees get whiny) and figure my body can't be all wrong about what it wants to do. Really I am at the point where I will sleep in any way I can get even a little bit comfortable.

I am still amazed at how hungry I can get and how quickly....literally I go from 'nah, not interested' to 'OMG DYING MUST EAT NOW' in a 5 minute span. I can't think at all when I'm hungry now, either. Or thirsty. My brain shuts down and goes into primal survival mode or something. It's kinda frightening. I have learned to always have at least water nearby, and am getting a little better with keeping snacks about, but it is still not second nature, and I screwed up yesterday... I was judging at a BBQ contest, and during a period where we had to sit still and listen to a 10 minute briefing I suddenly got hungry. I had breakfast an hour beforehand, so I thought I was good. But no... I thought my stomach was consuming itself, it hurt so badly. I was sweating and my eyes were glazing over... Thank goodness they brought out some saltines immediately afterward, or I might have killed an innocent stranger.

[tank]

Hey everyone.  I seem to be getting over this emotional phase I think.  I guess I just need some confidence boosters, I don't know.

I have the same eating thing too.  If I don't eat I feel like I'm going to die.  It is fine when I'm at home cause I can just grab something but it's tough going out sometimes because I never know when it's going to happen. 

I have been sleeping on my side with a pillow between my legs.  It's the only way I can sleep.  I just bought a body pillow this afternoon so I won't have to keep stealing DP's pillow and having to give it back when he comes to bed.

Anyway, hope everyone is doing good.  Keep growing those babies!

[ValH]

Thanks for all the tips on the hip pain/sleep!  I'll definitely be looking into the yoga poses, and I've been meaning to buy a body pillow, but haven't gotten around to it yet.  I've tried sleeping on my back, but it honestly feels like there's a weight sitting on my belly when I do that.  When I was having my back issues a while back, I would sleep propped up on about five pillows, and that seemed to help my back without the pressure from my belly bothering me.  My hips seem to have gotten better over the weekend (I guess three hours of yard work helped?), so maybe it was just a transient thing... or maybe it'll be an off and on thing throughout pregnancy.  It's reassuring to know it's not just me, though!  :)

birdie - I'm glad you're feeling better about the eating/weight issue.  I think having healthy options are key.  We try to keep a lot of fruit in the house, along with nuts and cheese.  And I always put something in my purse when I go out, because I never know when I'm going to get hungry or feel light-headed.  That's great that your mom is coming to help you cook, though.  It's so nice to just have healthy meals available and not have to worry about it! 

As for the giving birth method question - I haven't really given it much thought.  We're doing a hospital birth, but I'm aiming for pain med free, and I'm also hoping for avoid the meds they give so commonly now to induce/speed up labor.  I'm not doing a doula, but I feel like I have enough family/friend support that will be there to make up for it. 

Tank - Glad you're feeling emotionally better! 

[LivingSky]

Hi ladies!

ValH: I'm glad your hips are doing better! Here's hoping it was indeed a passing thing and it won't return now.

tank: Yay for feeling better emotionally! These pregnancy hormones sure can wreak havoc on us in more ways than just the obvious physical ones. Be gentle with yourself - we all have bad times and good times, and it's all worth it in the end

meander: I'm definitely with you on the food thing! Carrying water helps me some as drinking water will tide off the "Ï'm about to starve to death" feeling for a little while. But I try to pack a whole bunch of different types of food with me wherever I go so that I can always find a quick appealing snack if I need one.

Tear: I felt the same way about sleeping on my back, which is why I discussed it with my midwife. I couldn't understand why my body would keep switching over to laying on my back in my sleep if it was so bad for me! Talking to her about it made me feel a lot better. Some time around 24-26 weeks I stopped being able to lay flat on my back without being propped up on my wedge pillow, so I knew it was time to give that up.

birdie.lee: Birth techniques WeDH and I have been working our way through a HypnoBabies home study course. I did a lot fo reading on the difference between HypnoBirthing and HypnoBabies and decided that HypnoBirthing was not right for me. Too many peoplereported that it left them feeling like a failure if things didn't go as planned. HypnoBabies does a lot of talking about how the birth can go ideally, but also that whatever birth you have is the perfect birth for you. That was the kind of message I wanted to hear! DH is also reading Husband Coached Childbirth and I'm reading Ina May's Guide to CHildbirth (we're going to swap when we're done). We're delivering in a private birthing suite run by a doula, with a midwife, and we'll have a student doula there as well. We were planning to go without the doula but it worked out that we're getting her services for free, so I figured we're better off to have her there and not need her rather than the other way around. In an ideal world, it will be a med free waterbirth

[Hykue]

So, I thought I'd just pop in for a moment and share a little story.

Last night I came inside from trying to milk a sheep (which is, surprisingly, harder than it sounds . . . they're small, but strong!) to find that my MIL's dog had decided to strew trash around the house in my absence.  I was pretty pumped on adrenaline after the sheep fight.  I was also pretty annoyed at the dog, since I had locked her in the house to prevent her from barking the whole time I was trying to milk a struggling, bleating sheep.  (I was trying to collect colostrum just in case a ewe dies or rejects her baby in the next year or so).  So, I went to pick up the trash from the floor, and amongst the items on the living room floor was a condom, in its package.  Obviously the vending-machine type.  It wasn't even expired.

Now, just to be clear, I've been with my DH for 11 years, and we only used condoms for the first year or so.  Since then it's been the pill, then an IUD, then we were TTC.  Furthermore, we had a discussion only a few months ago where I told him that if he ever wants to sleep with someone else, I am willing to try and work something out that will work for both of us, and he said that he thought it was unlikely, but that he would talk to me about it if the situation arose.  The only other person who has been here and putting things in the trash is my MIL, who I don't think had sex (or wanted to) for the vast majority of her marriage, never mind since then.  I am CERTAIN it's not hers.  CERTAIN.  So, I'm sure you can all guess the conclusions that my overly emotional, pregnant, and DH-deprived brain started jumping to.  The thing is, if there are any good men in the world, I would literally bet my life that my husband is one of them.  Therefore, if he turned out to be NOT a good man, I would be forced to give up men, because they would certainly all suck.

So, I thought, "I don't want to be scared, that's not good for the baby.  There must be an alternate explanation."

It took me a while, but I came up with one.  It absolutely must be the truth, too.  My sister agrees, I got it right.

After my loss in October, my DH told me he had been REALLY worried about me giving birth in the middle of the treeplanting season, because he would either have to miss it or miss making a good chunk of our year's income (like 1/3 of our income).  So he requested that we try to avoid for a couple of months.  I agreed, because it was obviously really important to him, and it made logical sense.  He asked if we should get condoms, and I said that it should be fine as long as I kept track of my cycles and we were careful to avoid my fertile time.  Which we did (it helped that we were visiting family, or they were visiting us, for much of the time).  However, he knows just how much higher my sex drive is during my fertile time, so he must have gotten the one condom just in case we wanted to make love during my fertile time, so we wouldn't have to resist.  Then, as he was getting ready to leave for work, he found it and realized that we didn't need it any more, so he threw it away.

Really, that explanation makes MORE sense than the horrible alternative - if he wanted to sleep with someone else, when he was away at camp would be the time, there's lots of attractive, fit women there, and many of them (correctly) think that he's hot.  So he wouldn't have thrown it away before he left.  And while he's here would be a terrible time - we're together at least 99% of the time.

Phew.  I'm really glad that I was able to figure that out, because for a few minutes there I thought my world was falling down around me.  I thought you all might appreciate the story of someone else's emotional rollercoaster ride. 

[ValH]

Hykue - Glad you were able to figure out a reasonable explanation for the incident.  And now that you explain it, it really does make a lot of sense!  We had a condom issue once... DH was taking out the trash and found a used one in the bottom of the trashcan.  I think he kind of freaked out for a split second, which I can understand, until I reminded him that we had friends visiting the weekend before.  I guess they had gotten a little frisky... glad I washed those sheets afterwards! 

Hope everyone else is feeling well and having a fantastic pregnancy!  I don't know about you guys, but it seems to be going by sooooo fast.  I just want it to slow down a little bit, so I can savor every minute.  I say that now, we'll see what I'm saying in August when I'm huge and it's 100 degrees.  ;)

[birdie.lee]

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Edited by birdie.lee - 5/7/13 at 12:18pm

[meander]

It's been really hot here, and I am feeling it like I never have before. My hands are basically dead at this point, so I just have to be careful not to cut myself, etc. My feet are so funny looking--I will have to take at least one picture to remind myself how bad it is! (they don't really bother me much, they just look like elephant feet) I am definitely moving into 'uncomfortable' territory generally--due to the swelling, because everything else is working fine... but there's no cure that doesn't involve delivery. Which it is most definitely NOT time for yet.... (On the other hand, I have actually slept a reasonable amount for 2 nights running, which hasn't happened in several months! Yay!!! so I am feeling okay overall...just so swollen that doing anything is a challenge, so mostly I don't do anything!)

I had a wake-up call at my appt this week...my BP measured a little bit high (134/90, nothing crazy!) and that + the swelling + headaches meant they sent me for precautionary lab tests....with the very scary statement 'If these tests come back abnormal, we'll have to deliver you....' 'Soon?' I ask... 'Yes, tomorrow'. EEEEEK!!!!

I'm so glad they didn't take my BP AFTER telling me that. :) Or DH's for that matter....

Labs were just fine, thankfully, but I think we are feeling a lot more sense of urgency in my house now! (Not that we'd have to have the nursery quite finished for a 32-weeker anyway; I imagine the NICU would be involved for a good while....but still!)

[LivingSky]

meander - My BP has started to creep as well. So I know how you feel! So far no protein in my urine so it hasn't gotten to a panic stage yet (for me at least) but my midwife is concerned. I have a consult appointment with an OB on June 21 just in case. However, unless I develop pre-e or the baby starts measuring small, I fully intend to still birth out of hospital, midwife or no midwife. Of course I have a bit of a unique situation in that the 'doula' who runs the birth suite where I'll be delivering is actually a qualified midwife that just doesn't happen to work with my health region. So we wouldn't be UCíng either way.

Anyways, I hope your swelling, headaches and BP all get better! Do you have a home BP cuff that you could check your BP more regularly with? I'm having my mother bring me out hers when she comes to visit on Sunday. That way I can keep an eye on it more regularly and not just when I'm stressing out already at my appointments!

[birdie.lee]

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Edited by birdie.lee - 5/7/13 at 12:18pm