Twelve is hard. So are the teen years. I have a 15 year old, a 2 yr old and a 6 month old. I often say, it's not the babies and toddlers that really make you consider permanent birth control, it's the teens.
I got my teen a cell when she was 13. The primary reason was that she was doing activites where I was dropping her off and picking her up, but the end times could change. The last straw was when she was on student council and they went on a shopping trip for a charity thing. They got done over an hour earlier than expected, but there wasn't anyone there with a phone she could borrow to call, so she had to sit at wait. I decided that was enough borrowing. I did a $9.99 add a line, no texting (DH and I don't even have txt on our phones...I mean we have them, but we pay for each text...and subsequently don't txt much.) She pays for the txts she makes. She has a job now, before it was through her allowance. She's just now starting to ask for unlimited texts. We have been discussing going prepaid anyway and since she has a job, she will be buying her own minutes that way. IMO, if she wants a cell with unlimited txts, I would suggest that you tell her that she needs to find a way to pay for it herself, be it through a paper route, doing odd jobs for neighbors, whatever. It's a great lesson in the concept that everything has to be paid for.
In our house, everyone who is capable does their own laundry. This means I get stuck doing the family laundry like towels and the younger kids laundry, but even then, my 2 year old does help to her abilities, by helping me move the laundry from the washer to the dryer, handing me clothes to fold etc. If she wants her clothes clean, I think it's time she learn to clean them herself.
Today I just had a really different reaction though. Like she can do whatever she pleases and reap the consequences of her actions.
I do think, in some cases, this really is the way to go though. That's really kinda the cornerstone of the natural/logica consequences concept. If you don't do your laundry, well then you don't have clean clothes-natural consequence. It's not any different than when they are little and you make them clean up the mess they made throwing food on the floor. Sometimes our kids aren't going to learn best by us teaching them, they have to figure it out themselves.