Moms of 2 (or more!) expecting again - WEEKLY CHAT

[lisabww]

Hello ladies! 

Am feeling a BIT more settled about the thought of having a third, but realize I am going to need some support (OK - LOTS of support) before this little one arrives. So I started this thread hoping to get some ideas about being a more intentional parent - for my children (2 girls, aged 5 and 2), and for this little one on the way. I'll post a new topic each week - feel free to discuss, or just talk about what is on your mind about intentional parenting.

Oh, and lurkers and first time moms are welcome!! I don't feel that moms of more than two have any more inherent wisdom that first time moms - maybe just more experiences??!!

I loved reading the threads from last week - especially about the spirited second children (I have one of those!!). So thanks for that. 

So here is this week's topic : What have your children done/ said recently that made you stop short, look at them, and think 'This little being is amazing'. The feeling you had is one which you wish you could capture in a bottle, like an essence, and try to release the next time s/he is driving you crazy and you are questioning whether you were ever meant to be a mom at all. 

I think for me, it was overhearing a conversation between dd1 (age 5) and dd2 (age 2) explaining that monsters weren't real. They were walking along holding hands, and dd1 says 'So this is the thing, K. Monsters don't really exist - they are imaginations!'. Dd2 is looking up at her with this earnest look and dd1 is leaning her head toward her as they walked - it just looked so intimate and kind and big-sisterly. It made me realize that my kids are not all about ME - I feel so responsible for them - making sure they are safe, helping with hurt feelings/ conflicts, nuturing their creativity/ interests...all the pressures we put on ourselves (and them!). But in fact, they have their own little worlds, their own support networks - sometimes we just have to hang back and let them come forth....

Hope you all have a great week - and hope Spring is headed your way, wherever you live. Baltimore is still pretty cold and rainy, but hopefully that will be changing soon!!

Lisa in Balto

[justamama]

My five year old has maybe not been so wise and sisterly today, but hilarious!

"I wish Reese (3 y/o) would break her leg again. The doctor's office had such a fun playhouse!" O_O

"I am George Washington. I am the President. No, I am a MAYor. You may do this, and you may do this, but you may NOT do this!"

The girls also refused to clean their room, which resulted in much of the stuff left on the floor getting thrown away. And an early bedtime. When she got up to eat before going back to bed, she came out and apologized so sincerely. She said "mama, I'm sorry. I don't want to not respect you or my things. I'll try harder from now on." <3

[Jaimee]

The other day my oldest (4 years) told us that she likes it better now that her brother (15 months) is out of my tummy because: "I like my brother more than I like playing with my toys."  It was a heartwarming moment for sure!

[GenomicsGirl]

I was thinking about the logistics of having 5 children ... during the week, 2 will be on the bus at 8am, 2 will be at preschool by 9am, and then I'll have a few hours *alone* with the baby.  Chaos will resume at 1pm and escalate at 4pm

My kids obviously don't know yet, and I'm not going to tell them until my 2nd trimester and genetic testing has been completed.  They are blabber mouths and will definitely announce it to the world!

My 7 year old wants his next sibling to be called "Tanker", my almost-4 year old wants it to be called "Sister".  I've nixed both of those already!

[berry987]

I'd love to reply to the topic, but I'm feeling completely overwhelmed and just hoping for support instead. I'm pregnant with my 4th child (I have three boys, ages 6, 4 and 2). This pregnancy has kicked my a** so far. I'm exhausted, out of breath, and nauseous most of the time (and I've had a bad head cold for 2 weeks now). I am having trouble carrying my 2yo up the stairs so I've taken to trying to coax him up for his nap, etc.  Which of course doesn't work very well. I feel like I've been complaining to my DH constantly...every time he calls he asks how I feel and I say "tired." But, seriously, it's my main physical and emotional state at the moment.

My oldest is in kindergarten and we carpool with two other families, so I only have to pick him up twice a week. Today is my day and, oh my god, I feel like I will cry if I have to load my screaming 2yo (who I have to wake from his nap to get his brother at school) and my 4yo in the car to go get him. 

I just want to rest. Not all day - I don't feel depressed - just for two hours. Put on my sweats, curl up in bed, SLEEP, for maybe 2 hours. I am just insanely tired. I don't sleep well at night (kids wakings mixed with my own sleep issues) and I'm sure that doesn't help. 

I'm 10 weeks pregnant now....hoping the 12th week will magically give me my energy back!

I don't remember being this tired with my last pregnancy. Actually, as I type that I remember - my DH worked from home when I was pregnant with DS3 and I was able to get an hour nap most days. Oooohhhh. No such luck this time around.

Edited: Just want to add - I love hearing my older sons deal with their 2 yo brother. They are so patient with him. They were all sitting at the table coloring the other day while I made dinner and I overheard my 6yo say "That IS a good picture, Maxie. I love the colors you used!" in his best grown up voice 

[Gemini529]

Originally Posted by berry987 

I just want to rest. Not all day - I don't feel depressed - just for two hours. Put on my sweats, curl up in bed, SLEEP, for maybe 2 hours. I am just insanely tired. I don't sleep well at night (kids wakings mixed with my own sleep issues) and I'm sure that doesn't help. 

I'm 10 weeks pregnant now....hoping the 12th week will magically give me my energy back!

This is exactly how I feel right now.  I only have one other child but he is 10.5 months old and he is wearing me out!  I really just want to sleep.  Just for two uninterrupted hours.  It's hard for me to sleep while  he is napping because his naps are unpredictable.  Yesterday he fell asleep while I was running errands so I never got a chance to take a nap.  When he woke up I wanted to cry because I was sooooo tired!  My DH has been working nonstop and hasn't been able to help much so I'm basically on my own right now.  Even though I worked through my last pg, I think it was easier because if I wanted to come home and take a nap, I could!  Also, the teething during the night has been really bad.  I ended up nightweaning him onto bottles because I was so drained of energy that I couldn't function during the day.  I wish I could remember when the fatigue ended last time but my circumstances were so different, I doubt it would be the same this time anyway!