Originally Posted by TranquilMind
You are so right. Children - and that is what dependents ARE...CHILDREN - should not be engaging in adult behavior when they are not totally prepared for the possible consequence of pregnancy/disease.
Dependants are children? Interesting way to look at it. I'm one of my husband's dependants, and I can assure you that I'm not a child. When we first got together, and first got married, he was my dependant, and he wasn't a child, either. If our teens were truly children, then the issue of them having sex wouldn't even arise. They wouldn't want to. Teens aren't the same thing as adults, but they aren't children, either.
And, in a perfect world, adults wouldn't engage in "adult" (ie. sexual) behaviour if they weren't "totally prepared" for the psosible consequences. But, it happens all the time. The issue is how well they'll cope with an unexpected pregnancy or STD. It's not about whether they're 17 or 35.
In fact, I'm a proponent of waiting until marriage. I know, I know...a dinosaur. I just liked marrying someone whom I knew had no diseases, and we've been married 23 years so I guess it worked out.
How on earth does you and he waiting for marriage ensure that he has no diseases? Your husband didn't lie to you, but sometimes, people do lie about such things. Women have married men in the belief that they're each other's first partners, only to end up being diagnosed with an STD. There are men - still - who have the bizarre mental split where they would never have premarital sex with a potential wife, because she's a "good" girl, but would still have sex with other women, who are "just sluts". (Yes - I've met guys like this. I'm not just making it up.)
And, in any case, marriage and sexual exclusivity are two different things. My current dh and I were in a sexually exclusive relationship for over a year before we got married. We didnt' wait, but I still married someone that I knew had no diseases (as he did with me).
Will my kids do it? I hope so. One will, most likely...don't know about the other, but it would be best if they get their lives in order first.