I would like somebody to please post a link to a post where somebody claimed that mothers who feed formula (especially adoptive, physically-disabled, mentally-ill, etc. mothers) or who use sposies, or who vax LOVE
their children less.
newmommy: I'm afraid you just didn't understand me. My bad. When I said I vax and work outside the home, etc. I meant that these are more what people would consider "mainstream" and yet I feel I am an AP parent and I feel perfectly at home here. My point was, you don't have to do everything "AP" and you can still be welcome here.
But I feel you are hung up on creating a "laundry list" of what are "AP practices". You are totally missing the point. As other posters have said, AP is an ATTITUDE
. It's about putting your child's needs first. AP is not defined by how many practices you can check off from a list.
Most AP parents cosleep b/c MOST babies prefer it that way. However, if you tried cosleeping and your baby prefers to be in his crib, then putting him in his crib is AP. What is NOT AP is insisting that babies MUST sleep in cribs, even if your kid screams himself to sleep each night and wakes all night long, and you insist on "training" him to sleep there b/c you are under the FALSE (read: ignorant) impression that crib-sleeping is the ONLY way for babies to sleep.
Most AP parents breastfeed b/c it is undoubtedly the best source of nutrition for an infant. However, mom's who cannot BF for whatever reason, can still practice "AP" feeding techniques (holding baby close for feedings, no "bottle props", feeding on demand, etc). What is IGNORANT is believing (b/c nobody educated you) that formula is just as good as breastmilk and that choosing between BF and FF is simply a "lifestyle choice".
Most AP parents wear their babies because MOST babies are happier, more content, and cry less when held close to a person. Some babies just don't like slings, so it would not be AP to force the issue. What is NOT AP is believing that holding your baby too much "spoils them" (again this is IGNORANCE b/c it is simply not true and these women have not been educated to that fact) and so you let them cry in their bouncy seats their swings, their exersaucers, and baby buckets.
Are starting to understand me now? Ignorance is not the same thing as stupid. Ignorance is, literally, "not knowing". Too many women are never taught the TRUTH or the FACTS about babies and they get their parenting practices from the local doctor or what "everyone else" is doing.
AP parents, almost by definition, have to do research and make concious choices because, for most of us, that information is not readily available. Thus, whatever an AP parent does, is almost always done WITH KNOWLEDGE, and as a concious choice to do what is best for the baby. NOT what is most convenient for the parent. And that is why so many of us differ in our individual practices, and yet still come together under the auspices of AP.
|Telling members that they are AP or are not AP OR telling members that they are more AP than another member is an awful way of supporting each other as mothers.
From what I'm reading, just about every single post to this thread in response to the OP has been saying this as well, so I'm not sure who you are directing this to.