".......there is a big difference between someone who doesn't bedshare and doesn't respond to their kids, and someone who doesn't bedshare but is 100% responsive to all of their kids needs, all of the time......"
Just jumping in with a very humble thought on my part.........
Why can't the essence of the above quote be applied to all the different aspects of AP parenting? With my first I had very little knowledge of natural childbirth and AP parenting. I sort of fell into it when my first was 3weeks old. It solidified all of my instincts and I have learned so much in the last 6 years, mostly through trial and error and lots of research.
I can't believe that there is anyone out there who has done "perfect/100% " AP parenting.
We have all had to compromise on one thing or another. However, because of the compromise we all have an emotional scar, so to speak, due to the fact that we all intelectually know what could be best but were not able to achieve the pefection.
I had unexpected twins the second time around. I am extremely proud of how well I have been able to AP twins.
I am still BF ( 1-2 times a day the twins are 2.5 yo).
We still co sleep when the children wander into our bed(hopefully not all three on any one night). Never used a crib.
I use a stroller to this day, even though they are 2.5, it keeps them safe and they are very entertained by the outside world (always have been).
I never used a sling but I used a Bjorn and carried the other whenever I could. Interestingly enough I used my bouncy seats and swings much less with the twins then with my singleton.
I use disposable diapers.
My son is not circ.(but would have been if he was my first).
I have done selective, timely vacinations
I reached out into my community to help me raise my twins and older daughter, and I still depend on the kindness of others.
I never turn down an offer for help.........................
*Be it holding a door so I can get my side by side stroller thru
*distracting one of the very tired twins while picking up the older sibiling from Montessori school,
*pushing my stroller to the car so I can deal with the melt down of one of my children at the playground,
*pushing two of my children in the swings so I can play hide and seek with my older daughter and her best friend while at the playground the list goes on and on.......
I don't think AP / mainstream is about following a set regiment of slings, BF, co- sleeping, cloth diapers, non vacinating, non circumcision etc. etc.
I think it is being aware of what is best ( throught research and the inner voice) and doing what you can within your reality of day to day living. The ideal /perfection is something to strive for not neccesarily always attain.
If you give someone the benefit of the doubt it will be returned.
Who really knows why peole in grocery stores do the things they do?
What happens on the playground may be a one time thing/learning experience for all involved.
I try to be less "judgemental" and more helpful/suportive based on the circumstances of the particular incidence.
to everyone who tries to maintain the best they can be