|Originally posted by IdentityCrisisMama
Anyone feel up for a discussion on ways they have practiced being non-judgmental - What has had an effect and what hasn’t?
I've been following this thread with varying emotions, but I like the turn it has taken, and I wanted to respond to this question/comment.
I make up stories.
Honestly. I figure that each of us has an ongoing train of "self-talk" that, if we are honest, is based on our very personal PERCEPTION of what is occuring in the world around us. That perception is wildly affected by all sorts of things.... our history, our experiences, our personalities, what happened to us that morning, 2 minutes ago, 30 seconds ago. So if my self-talk begins "ugh, look at that mama, how can she be ignoring that little babe in that carseat thing? pick him up! pick him up!" And IF I am in good mental space and able to be generous (which I continually strive for but of course don't always succeed), I literally make up a story that allows me to have more compassion for her. Because the truth is, my story (my current/inital/gut reaction story) is just as made up as the one I make up on purpose. So I tell myself "she has a colicky baby and she holds him all the time, but right now she has just put him down so she can get through the checkout line and in reality, he'd still be crying if she were holding him.... etc etc." Because what's to say that my initial judgemental reaction has anything to do with the truth?
Anyway, it helps me have more compassion and not be so angry all the time.
I can completely relate to the discussion of the "stages" one goes through in becoming an "activist." There are still times when I feel such white-blinding rage at the Bush administration, environmental set-backs, etc, that I can't even have a reasonably intelligent conversation about it. Talk about ineffective.
Thanks for this thread mamas