Closing off the second floor

[scsigrl]

I didn't know where else to put this so here it is :)

We have a colonial house.  Bedrooms and DH's office (he works form home full time) are upstairs.  We don't keep toys up there so there isn't really any reason the kids need to be up there.

1) DH get's frustrated when the kids get up there. They interfere with his work.  The he he get's upset and yells and everything goes to he*# after that.  Everyone is upset.

2)  I don't like them on the steps.  2 yo is good at them but not *that* good.  4 yo leaves the top gate open which is more of a problem for me!

3) There isn't anything up there to do but get in trouble.  Pulling clothes out of dressers.  Jumping on beds.  Kid stuff, I know but  things I don't care to clean up either.

So here is the question, how do I prevent them from getting up there?  They won't listen, we have tried.  We have the top and bottom gated but also have a 4 yo so ya know, gates are useless.  At the bottom of the steps there are 2 slanted steps then they go up.  There is a rail on one side and a banister on the other which I can't see how we would install a door on.

Any ideas?  Concrete answers, please.  We have "talked" for ever at no use.  I am done with the talking and need a real solution (ie how do I put up a door?)

TIA!

[crunchy_mommy]

The only thing I can think of is replacing the banister with a wall so you could put up a door.

[Marsupialmom]

You gate it.  Even if this means you have to slide something heavy in front of the stairs.  

This is one time natural consequences will not work.  You might have to come up with a "punishment".  Taking away privilages?  Inconvenience them by making them stay in the room you are in, since you cannot trust them to NOT go up stairs and bother dad while he is working.  No talking, set rule, if you go upstairs while daddy is working, this will happen. 

It might also help if you have a sign up letting them know when they can or cannot go up.  For my older children I had a sign (visual reminder).  

[scsigrl]

We thought of building out the wall to make a door possible.  That would make getting furniture in and out of there impossible :(   I would but that's not an option.

I like the sign option. I am not sure it'll work but it is worth a try.  The little one can't get the gate open (yet) but the big one knows "red means stop" and all.  That is where I shall start!

I am trying to think of a "punishment".  They get a show in the AM and one in the PM and I am not sure taking that away during the day will translate a "You do X you don't get Y." thing.

[Marsupialmom]

Try the sign....then keeping them close.  

"you bug daddy now you have to play in the same room I am in."  

Also, I remember when I stared working at home I thanked/praised the behavior I wanted.  "Thank you for not interrupting me, this morning"  Praise and focus on when they are doing what they are suppose to.  It will help if you are not going up their either.  We had our worse moments when dad would come in and bug me.   

[Drummer's Wife]

Also, maybe you could give them incentive to not go upstairs by rewarding them somehow.  Like, hey, since you guys were so good today and didn't even try to go upstairs while daddy was working, we are going out for ice cream after dinner!  Other than that, I would say the putting in a door with a lock would obviously work, if it was actually doable, but that just denies them access - when you could very well give them consequences and even privileges based on how well they've followed your rules. 

Good luck!  I know how stressful it can be when DH works from home and the kids are off school.  I swear my kids will go from calm and peaceful to screaming and fighting the second he makes a phone call to an important customer. 

[onlyzombiecat]

If it is a hinged gate could you put a bike lock on it and the railing or whatever is near it so it can not open as easily?

Could you put something heavy in front of it that the 4 year old can not move or climb?

Could you lock the upstairs doors?

Maybe a movable partition? http://www.portablepartitions.com/products/

Make the 4 year old the stair police.

Sticker chart for not bothering Daddy?

Something really attractive downstairs?

[eirual]

I also think advanced notice/prep is important (e.g. have a calendar you look at before bed that outlines what the next day will look like, remind them when they wake up that they will not be allowed back up once they go down, so get your clothes, do what you need to do; you have 5 mins). 

I also find having concrete rules help, things like you have to stay downstairs when the sun is up (if you're going to keep it that way on weekends too) or when the sign is up (if you want some more flexibility with days that it's in effect)- having a signal or some kind of sign that the rule is in effect can make it blatantly clear.

I think if you're going to put their rooms/the upstairs out of bounds, that it's also important that they have a space that's all their own that they can retreat to without having constant supervision- a play tent, a built "fort" with curtains, etc. that's made clear that it's their space and that they have some decisions over (what it's going to look like, what they'll take into it, etc.)

[chel]

I had a similar issue with the most recent move. My 1 yr old would scurry up. I just shut the door, you would need to lock for the 4 yr old, but basically make the upstairs not fun. Now just 4 m later, she never goes up.

[Artichokie]

Originally Posted by chel 

I had a similar issue with the most recent move. My 1 yr old would scurry up. I just shut the door, you would need to lock for the 4 yr old, but basically make the upstairs not fun. Now just 4 m later, she never goes up.

i suggest locking all the doors upstairs during working hours.  hang a sign on your dh's office door that is red on one side (stop!  do not bother daddy!) and green (knock and come in!) on the other.  Maybe they could walk their dad to work in the morning and/or release him @quitting time by flipping the sign to the appropriate color. :)