tantrum around sitting in her high chair (booster seat) at meal times

[LoveStruck]

I'm new to the forum and relatively new to mothering.  I don't know what DD or DS is, but my daughter is 19 months old and is my first and only child.  She and I have had the flu, then a cold and she's working on her two year molars over the past month.  It's been rough for both of us and I'm not getting much sleep.  After the flu, she went back to nursing full time and rejected food for about a week while sick and was hesitant to eat after we got better.  Now, a month later, she's still nursing a lot more than normal, and for the past three days she won't let me put  her into her booster seat/high chair during meals.  She screams and cries and so I let her sit on my lap and she eats off her tray from there.  Is it bad that I'm not forcing her to sit in her seat?  Do I need to make her sit there?  When I tried that, she threw all the food off her tray, even though she was interested in food while on my lap and clearly feeling hungry.  Then she cried  and screamed until I took her out. 

The whole AP style is really working for me in terms of nursing, co-sleeping and everything else.  I'm just new to the whole toddler gig. I feel like with any authority on parenting you should always balance it out with what you feel in your heart...so I'm just guessing it's a phase from having such a terrible month.  I just don't want to spend all of my meals from here on out with a baby on my lap?  Suggestions? 

[D_McG]

I kind of go with my gut on that thing. If they seem sick I don't mind them on my lap but when it becomes more a preference they have I do force it b/c I just hate eating with someone on my lap every night. I also never nurse at the table. Just my 'things'.

In your situation I could go either way. Maybe give her a few more days and see.

[LoveStruck]

Thanks! Is there a place where I can learn what all the DD, DS etc stand for?  I love this community!

[Peachthief]

My DD (dear daughter) is almost 21 months old and just went through a phase of only wanting to eat on my lap.  It doesn't bother me, so I just let her do it, until recently she started asking to sit in her booster again.  I could easily see it becoming a permanent thing, though, with a kid with a different personality. 

As to the acronyms, they are listed here: http://www.mothering.com/community/wiki/abbreviations-and-acronyms

Welcome to MDC!

[crunchy_mommy]

I agree with the pp's (previous posters ) She may just need that extra security/comfort from you since she's going through a lot right now, but it could easily become a long-term habit... She may also like some other options -- kneeling on a regular chair, or standing at a kid-size table or coffee table, for example. Do you normally strap her into the booster? She might like the opportunity to climb up herself & not be strapped in at all. So those are some things you could try when she's feeling better and back to her normal self, although I don't think there's anything wrong with letting her sit in your lap if it doesn't bother you (it drives me nuts though, personally!!)

[ShezzaAsh]

With a toddler, sometimes you're just lucky to get them to eat during supper-time and not necessarily in their booster or high-chair.  I say.... choose your battles.  This battle doesn't seem important to me.  She could just be going to through a stage.... she'll sit on her own when she's ready.  Try not to stress!  

[belltree]

I would not fight this battle. I've been in similar situations with ds (being sick, increased nursing, refusing food etc). If I feel overwhelmed with ds on my lap, we just move the dinner on the floor and coffeetable. He can even stand if he likes. To me its more important to have a family meal than where it takes place and how everyone is seated.

[Gretchen_PDX]

Our son stopped wanting to sit in his high chair around 14 months. We now just eat at his play table (this is easy with 1 kid!). He sits in his little chair and my husband and I sit on cushions at his table. Before he was born, my husband and I used to always eat like this at our coffee table so it's not a big deal to us. With the toddlers, you really have to pick your battles. Sitting at child-size table allows our son more independence (for example, he can go himself a cloth if he spills or a fork if he doesn't want to use the utensil he already has). He goes to a Montessori school, and I feel like this independence is really important for him. And he seems to demand it when we try to stifle him!!

[A-time-to-live]

My DD started refusing her highchair so we got her a booster seat. She started refusing her booster so we got her a play table and let her eat there. Eventually she preferred to sit in an adult chair without the booster. Now she bounces between the booster, adult chair, my lap, and small table from meal to meal. My concerns are that she sit down to eat with us and that she eat. Where she sits is not a big deal to me.