Toddler refuses to sit at the table and eat

[sagesmothertree]

Our two year old son has always had a difficult time being still - he's always on the go, playing, running and talking. He often goes to the point of being physically and mentally exhausted simply because he won't sit down and eat.  We've tried countless ways to solve this dilemma - from allowing him to snack, letting him walk around in the kitchen only while he eats, different utensils, highchair, booster chair, regular chair, picnic style, you name it. He doesn't really like to feed himself that much, in fact food doesn't interest him much in general. Our pediatrician says his growth is on track and consistent, although he's slightly under the 40th percentile for weight (but he's tall). We've tried making it fun We've tried not budging on our rules; letting him cry or go hungry if he refuses to sit, making him wait longer between meals so he is hungry. Long story short, the only way we've found that we can keep him still and feed him is the darn television.  Yes, the tv and I'm not happy about it. But after such a long struggle, it's better than his sour attitude and clinginess that followed him around because he was hungry.

I'm not really happy with our current solution.  I feel as though I'm creating exactly what I never wanted to. Although he's very intelligent and since we've been doing this tv/meal routine, we make a point of engaging conversation about what is on tv. "Educational" programs only. He doesn't watch more than 90 minutes to two hours of television a day. I think that's too much. We limit it to meal times. 

Problem is, I'm not sure what else to do short of completely following the sit-and-eat rule 100% of the time. (In which case, my husband, son and I would all be miserable for weeks, I'm sure, as our son adjusted.) 

So how bad does this all sound? Anyone else have a toddler like this? I feel like a horrible parent here.

[sagesmothertree]

Oh, I might add the only other time he eats well is when he is buckled into the carseat.

[T-man's Mama]

This sounds amazingly like our son and eating situation! I could have written this post. I hope you get some good suggestions because for now, I have resorted to what you describe. Yes, I sit him in front of a favorite program, so that he will easily accept food and actually eat something. I'm sure this is a terrible habit to establish, but I don't know what else to do. Otherwise he seems to barely eat anything -- or eats agonizingly slow (as in two blueberries in 30 minutes).

Also, I'm trying to cut back on the nursing. He demands to nurse about a million times a day since we nightweaned in December, which tells me he isn't getting enough calories. I figure if I can get him to eat more during the day, the requests will diminish to something more manageable! But it isn't happening on his own.

[springbride]

My DD isn't quite as uninterested in food as your situation.  She likes to sit in her chair and eat breakfast, but I think that's because I'm in the kitchen making lunches for the day and interacting with her.  For lunch, I basically have to trick her into eating.  I'll hand her a piece of PB&J while she's coloring or playing with her blocks... this works 1/2 the time.  :)  

Dinner is anybody's guess.  I have started to keep these around so I know she's at least getting fruits & vegetables.  She will suck one down in the carseat or pretty much whenever I give it to her.  They come with a decent variety.  

 

[crunchy_mommy]

For a while, when I got fed up with constant nursing & needed DS to EAT instead, DH would sit DS on his lap & read him a book while he ate. It worked really well (probably for the same reasons TV works for your DS) but helped us avoid the TV thing (he is TV-free). So maybe there are other things that would help beside TV (not just books but music, audiobooks, etc.) However we only did the reading thing for a short time & most of the time just have regular family meals... so I don't know how it would work long-term...

[marispel]

We're in the same boat.  Sigh.  We always start at the table and see what he'll do first.   Sometimes he'll eat quite a bit and sometimes it's one bite.     If he is really upset (over hungry) then I'll use my iPhone for him to watch a youtube video.  He sits at the table with us and will watch ABC video or something.      Other times, when he is eating OK (without iPhone) but doesn't eat much, then I'll save that meal for him to eat when he gets to watch his one TV show. 

I guess my advice is to at least try to eat at the table for a few minutes - even if it's only 5 minutes without TV or any distractions.  If he doesn't eat then wait until snack time to offer the food again and if it's during his TV time then offer the same meal again.

That's probably not the best mommy advice, but for us, it's a baby step.   We used to throw out the dinner and give him snacks (crackers, nuts, etc) during TV time, but now we're re-offering him only his dinner.   We are also "telling him" - if you eat your dinner at the table with us then during your TV time you get a cookie.    This hasn't sunk in yet, but I'm hoping over time - as he matures, it will.

[Halfasianmomma]

We're in the same boat. DD *used* to be an avid eater but lately, she's too busy to eat. I let her roam and have bits of what I'm eating, because quite honestly, I don't need the stress of trying to force her to eat. I cut out all snacks that aren't fruits, veggies or nuts, and since DD likes to eat in the car, I always have the healthy stuff on hand when I'm driving her someplace.

I dunno...I kind of give up right now!