6 weeks ago, I came home to find my husband naked on the living room floor with another woman. A woman he convinced me to allow him to be friends with, and who sat down and talked with me about her own 6-year engagement and how my husband needed support in his life (our daughter was stillborn last February). She said she wasn't trying to "steal my husband" and that if I loved him and trusted him, I would be okay with their friendship. Needless to say, I okayed their friendship, even though I had a really bad gut feeling about her. I was pregnant again and still grieving the loss of my daughter and didn't want to create any more stress in our lives.
In November I started feeling like maybe it wasn't such a great idea anymore. He had been asking to go away to process his grief and leaving the house early in the mornings...coming home late at night. He told me he wasn't with her, but I wasn't so sure. I asked him to put his relationship with her on hold until after our baby was born....he was furious. He now says that that was the point that their relationship turned into an emotional/and sexual affair, when I came between their "friendship" and it turned secretive. I later found hotel receipts from Reno (he said he went away to process the loss of our daughter by himself). He came back with toys for me and our 4 year old from Circus Circus, which I thought was a weird thing to do alone, but when I questioned him he became livid and denied being with anyone.
Anyways, 6 weeks ago, the night after I confronted him with the Reno receipts and took my newborn son and 4 year old daughter to my sister's house, I came back home to find them together, naked on our living room floor. I was in complete shock. I stayed there trying to talk to them for a little over an hour. He refused to say anything, she kept saying "tell her, tell her!" (still not sure what that meant). I took a picture of them, then waited for them to get their clothes on and leave. An hour later her fiance found them, naked again, at her mom's house.
I spent the next week looking for an apartment, packing up our stuff and moving out. I was 5 weeks post partum. After several long conversations with him since then, it's become clear that he has no intention of wanting to work it out. He says he's "not leaving his children, he's just leaving me." For a 24 year old girl, (who has since left her fiance of 6 years). She has no job, no children and two trust funds.
I felt I had no other option but to file for divorce, which I did 2 weeks ago. This is breaking my heart. I never ever thought I would be in this place, I am a strong believer in marriage and forgiveness and seeking help in the form of therapy, etc. But he just didn't want to make the effort. He said things would be easier this way... For who?!
I feel so abandoned...so betrayed. To know that he was having this affair throughout my entire pregnancy and into the first few weeks of our baby son's life. Especially after losing our daughter just over a year ago. I just can't wrap my mind around it all...it doesn't make any sense.
He now says he's been unhappy since our daughter was born four years ago...but he can't specify why, except that I didn't cook and clean enough. I reminded him that out of those 4 years, I was pregnant for 3 of them, working 40 hours a week, taking care of the kids full time since we couldn't afford childcare, interning to get my licensure hours to become a therapist, and grieving over our daughters death. He didn't seem to care.
The other woman (girl) has since moved into our home, and will now be spending time with my children on a regular basis. How could any woman do that to another woman? Come into her home, have sex with her husband in front of their wedding and baby's pictures, take him away from his family, move into their home and take over her family. I just don't understand.
He says he's in love with her. That he will always love me because I'm the mother of his children, but he's not in love with me. But just a couple of months ago he was saying that me and our daughter meant the world to him and he loves us so much. He was never the type to be dishonest, unfaithful, uncaring. I'm just at a loss.
I know that I could never get back together with him. He doesn't even want to try to make it work, so how could I want to get back together. I just can't believe how easily and quickly he replaced me.I feel so used. I gave him three children, a life for the past 13 years, a family, a home, a future. And he threw it all away. Why????