how to stop time-out in such a situation?

[bluemli]

Hi

I need some help with this situation we had this morning

I actually wanted to stop time-outs and also stop yelling, but….

My boys, 3 and 4, took some kitchentool for playing. They did this befor and that’s okay so far. But this morning, they started some new game with it and it broke. I said they should stop, clean the mess and put it back. But my younger child wouldn’t listen and started to play with it even harder. I repeated to stop and that it breaks. Didn’t stop him. I said it again and he kind of spit at me. Then I sent him to a time-out. Of course he wouldn’t sit down, he laughed and ran away. That’s when I stared to yell. So much for my new resolutions….

He is in such a difficult phase right now. Yesterday when we were shopping for food, there was an old man smiling at him and saying something nice. He in return showed him his tounge. I said nod to do that, that’s very rude, he laughs. Maybe we should have gone home right away but I had to do the shopping, I have 3 kids, the youngest ist 5 months old, I hardly find the time to go shopping at all.

So I’m a little lost here….

Any ideas ?

Thanks a lot

[womenswisdom]

What I've found to be helpful in reducing my yelling is to remember that not yelling usually takes me getting off the couch (literally and figuratively!).  If I ask my kids to do something and they don't comply, I need to walk over and physically help them do it or "enforce" what I said (like if I asked them to stop playing roughly with a toy, I might go and take the toy away).  It's when I repeatedly ask them to do something and they don't listen that I start to yell, so I just need to get up and be more active in my discipline.  In your situation, if I'm reading it correctly, I would have removed the items they were playing roughly with and gone over to help them clean up the mess they made.  I have noticed since I started doing this, I have gotten more compliance in general, where I don't have to go over and get directly involved.  HTH!