Feeding on demand? HELP!

[Smurfette2]

How do you moms feed on demand?

Do you wait until the babies are hungry/cry?

Or do you wake them up for a feeding?

I can not get this nursing thing down. I currently wake my girls up for a feeding and we do tandem 1-2 times a day. Sometimes they're too fussy and would rather be in my arms. They're like dinosaurs, they remember (Jurassic Park reference) that if they cry about being put in the boppy while hungry, I won't tandem. My husband went back to work yesterday after 5 months of unemployment as a carpenter so this is day 2 of going solo with the twins. Yesterday was a learning day. Up until now I've been pretty cocky about having twins because iIt's been relatively easy. I read all of the comments on multiples and just kinda shrug because I wasn't really experiencing any of the same hardships. When Poppa was home, they didn't cry for much. Their feeding/diapering schedules were predictable. OMG, not anymore. I fed on demand and I couldn't even shower yesterday until after dinner. Ack! They slept at different times! WTH? Not once yesterday did they end up on the same page. My point is this: If I feed on demand, I won't have time to do much else.

This morning started off a little better. I took TeenBaby to school and they were quiet. As soon as I drove into the garage, screaming! I backed out into the driveway, quiet! I drove back into the garage, screaming! They don't like their infant carriers so I keep the swapmeet stroller nearby to shuttle them in and out of the house otherwise I'm carrying one at a time.

SIDENOTE: My cat insists on sleeping with the twins. Kitty was very close to me during my pregnancy, usually curled around my belly like a 4th child. I had her spayed as a kitten so I think she thinks the twins are hers? I don't mind her sleeping with them in an open, wide space like their crib but the bassinet is small and I'm worried she'll smother them. It's funny because she knows when they'll cry before they cry. She runs to me and rubs her head on my legs - sure enough one will start to stir and then cry.

[Smurfette2]

This the video I watched that taught me how to tandem nurse. I had a lactation

nurse coming to my house but she wasn't as helpful as this video. I love the

internets! :)

[~Adorkable~]

I wonder if you have your expectations a bit off. At 3weeks getting a shower at all in a day in a bonus and nursing newborn twins often means you have little time for anything else. Things will even out, but right now they simply are not capable of a schedule and yeah they are finally waking up, it seems to happen right about one month.

your little wee ones are very young, before you know it things will be totally different and a week later different again. Mine are 14 weeks and have gone thru a handful of stages, and how I delt with each one made me a bit better when the next challenge came.

[~Adorkable~]

As for the nursing at 3 weeks I was not waking my babies, as long as they were making enough wet diapers I was not concerned. They were very sleepy back then and I was quick to feed them the moment they woke, I notice the were not great at asking for milk till they were very hungry, and by that time they were nearly too hungry to focus and nurse. Crying is what they call a "late cue" and they probably should be offered food before it comes to that.

[ShanaV]

You'll have days where they're in sync and days where they're totally out of sync. It's hard. No other way to put it. You're lucky that it got off to a good start! 

Not showering until late is totally normal. Some days you may not shower at all.

I remember in the early months the babies would go from zero to starving in two seconds flat. Like the pp said, they're not so good at cues, I guess, so they'd go from fine to screaming in no time at all. Plus, in my case, they had to be swaddled all the time, so they couldn't really do much with their hands anyway as far as cues.

So as far as on demand feeding -- offer the boob early and often. Offer it pretty much all the time. I learned at an LLL meeting that, as newborns, pretty much any thing, any kind of movement, is a cue for boob.

Also, the first couple weeks are different -- I remember very little crying at all at the very beginning. We heard more toots than cries out of the babies. Then yes, they started to wake up more I suppose. And it is totally normal to have NO time for anything else besides nursing. I remember they would feed, fall asleep on the boob, wake up, feed, diaper change, immediately back to the boob. I would spend hours upon hours just sitting on the couch. I got a lot of TV watching done! (As well as MDC browsing on my phone!) NORMAL.

Luckily I live with my folks so they would make me sandwiches and bring me water. Remember to eat and drink a lot! Prepare some food and drinks ahead of time and keep it near your nursing area. 

I guess the lesson is that things constantly change, transition, evolve, and you get to roll along with it! 

[Smurfette2]

Thank you Shana and Adorkable! Today has been totally frustrating as far as nursing. I do not remember any of this feeding drama with my 15 y/o. Then again, it was 15 years ago. LOL. Oh man it's not funny. 

Okay so sucking on their hands is a cue right? I try to feed before they get to that point. Input/output is in the normal range for them so I'm not concerned that they're not eating enough. I was just confused about nursing them on demand. I had to read TeenBaby's baby book to remind me of her early days. I guess she had colic but I don't remember it. And I complained of no sleep and feeding her every 3 hours. So I guess it's kinda the same.

Thanks for your wisdom ladies! 

[SunshineH]

 Nursing newborn twins is definitely time consuming. I remember reading the newspaper and magazines while feeding the twins. Some days it felt like that was all I did, and was thankful for the meals I had brought to us. But after a while, it didn't take so long for us.  I tandem nursed a lot - if one was fussing because it was time to eat, odds were pretty good that the other would eat even if they weren't fussing yet.  I would wake one up at night to eat if the other was up so that we could all get back to sleep. If you are a book reader I would recommend the book 'Mothering Multiples' by Karen Gromada. I've seen it mentioned by other mamas here also.

[Smurfette2]

I am so exhausted. I have a huge headache and I'm confusing my days/nights. 

I don't know how you Mommies nurse at night. I'm so tired and the babies are so little

that I have to sit up and hold them. We'd like to switch them to bottles at night but I'm

afraid that I'll lose my milk.

I think my life would be a whole lot easier if I just stopped nursing. Every morning I tell

myself that it's the last day but I know how much they need the milk and I love the bonding time.

I wish I could run to the store and buy 8 hours of sleep. 

[~Adorkable~]

hang in there, it is worth it and i promise it gets better

do you best to not do anything besides the babies, have other folks do stuff, bring you stuff and dont worry if stuff gets put aside for later.

i have always had a bottle of my milk available to me for nights, in the beginning it was because they were to small and not taking my breast yet, later it was because nursing was too tiring for them to get enough at night

now i dont use it nearly s much but it does let me bumble my way thru one baby that still wants something at 4am or a little top off for one as they drift back asleep in the co sleeper.  i pump as the last thing i do before i go to bed, i get a lot late at night like that and its often when i can put a bag down into my freezer stash. it has never hurt my supply, but then again i think i have very good supply. (maybe because of when i pump?)

i figure they aren't eating for the next few hours so this is bonus demand on my breasts to make more!

oh and i would work hard at having another goal than 8 hours of sleep, you can get bitter and sad if you are waiting around for that! is there someone that can take them for a 2 hour walk in the late afternoon and let you sleep? or someone that can do the first wake up and feed in another room and let you sleep till the second one?

hugs

[~Adorkable~]

oh and it has been shown time and time again that nursing moms and bottle feeding moms spend about the same amount of hours a day feeding their babies, believe me you dont really want to get to thinking that bottle feeding is all that, it sucks when they are suddenly hungry and you dont have something ready for them and cant just stick a boob in their mouths. dont even get me started with going out and having to always bring stuff and worry if you have enough or having to head home because you run out. the boob will get easier and it is really about their health, the sleepless nights will pass, you will hardly remember them someday

[ShanaV]

Adorkable is right -- bottles are not any easier than boobs. Frankly, they can be a lot harder.

The fact is that the first months with twins are HARD no matter what. But it's just a couple of months over the course of their entire lives which is worth it in the long run.

For the first few months I would sleep for maybe 45 minutes at a time. Yes, I hit the wall in the middle of the night more than a few times. 

Stick with it! *cheerleader*

[Smurfette2]

Well we mulled all day over whether to:

1. Strictly Breastmilk Bottles: Same amount of pumping/nursing if not more.

2. Hiring CNAs: The problem isn't more hands, it's another me. I'm the only one with the milk so having someone else around to feed them doesn't do me any good.

3. Nanny: Same situation as CNAs.

4. DH taking off the next 4.5 months: This was our final solution. Since I work from a home office I need 3-4 hours of uninterrupted desk-time. If my husband is home with me, I'm able to get that work done. My job doesn't take a vacation - if I don't bill the insurance companies, then my employees won't be paid. No pay - no work and my patients will find home services elsewhere. So I feel like my job is the priority here and the only thing hindering me right now is being alone during the day and having to juggle my own naptime, their newborn schedule and BF'ding.

I actually enjoy having him home during the day. Sometimes I walk around with my oobies hanging out - I'm pretty sure no one else wants to see that! LOL. Believe it or not, I got 6 hours of sleep last night. DH did all the midnight runs and even put them on my breast without fully waking me. AWESOME! I slept in until like 6 AM. It was very refreshing. I know it was a fluke though and I'm not going to hold my breath for another but it was a great tradeoff for letting him golf with his dad.

Thanks for the advice. I'm anxiously awaiting the day the 5 of us can sleep thru the night. I only get computer time when I'm pumping so... I hope everyone had a good weekend. :)

[Smurfette2]

One more thing: Their first week home was so easy compared to tonight. LOL.

And I can't believe I took them on a road trip 2 weeks later. Crazy! But I'm glad I did it. I was suffering a bad case of PPD.

[Four&Me]

i didnt read the whole thread just a few of your posts.

 they WILL/could go through grow spurts. which meant for us that they wanted to eat  twice as often. (i think it was in weeks and months of three's. three weeks. 3 months. i totally forget the math..but anyways what that meant for me, (added on to lack of sleep) you think it will never end. that it will be forever. 

then suddenly they  go back to normal.

  you just had some babies! isnt expected to NOT be able to shower before, when you had prebabies?

mine babies all woke up every 30min to 60min for at least a year. both did. i believe it was only because i was lazy and didnt feed them each on EACH side.so they didnt get the full fatty milk letdown. i just had one on each side at night and just rolled over and fed one anytime i heard a sound. (6 years later, i have waking up ninja skills,which i swear my mom who bottlefed totally understands. baby about to cry = sound the alarm wake up on your feet)

and btw i got my super awesome computer typing  and remote control scanning  tv channel abilities by nursing twins .

[Smurfette2]

Well I totally expect to be able to shower at least once a day. It's a priority for me. It helps me relax. If given a choice, I'd take showers over extra sleep. That's just me though.

After all that discussion on whether or not to hire help or let my DH become a stay-at-home dad, he went to work yesterday! And today. Whatever. His supervisors said they won't put him on assignments more than 25 miles from home but we'll see how long that lasts. So once again, I'm on my own. It's not so bad today. I got a decent amount of sleep last night - I'm more prepared for today's hurdles. So far there are none. Daytime feeds are strictly BF. Nighttime is a half & half - which allows them to sleep at least 4 hrs straight.

I realized that it wasn't the fact that the girls hated their Graco carriers, they hate when the shade is drawn over them. They both like to be out and about in the sunlight. YAY! Actually, I sat Miss Fussy Sophia in her carrier and immediately she began to cry which was a signal to her sister Grace to cry as well. Grace was still in her bassinet, there was no reason for her to cry. LOL. I drew the shade back on Sophia's carseat and voila! The crying stopped for both. So dilemma solved and now I don't have to get rid of our infant carriers. And now I can get one of those fancy carseat carrier strollers.

As far as their milestones they're both lifting their heads during tummy time. Grace is stronger than Sophia. She has good command of her neck muscles and stays awake longer during the day. Sophia is my roller. If left to sleep on her side, she will roll right onto her stomach. I think it's more of an involuntary movement though so I no longer put her to sleep in the baby hammock. We're headed out to Costco. I can't stand being in the house any longer than I have to be. Have a good week ladies!

Thank you x100 for all of the advice and wisdom. You've saved me from a lot of tears. :) Xoxo

[Smurfette2]

Happy to report Sophia and Grace are sleeping 6 hours a night. It's only the

4th day in a row but I'll take the smallest signs of maturity I can get. I'm doing

3/4 formula/breastmilk bottles at night - my DH and I are both back at work F/T.

I've lost most of my baby weight. I gained A LOT (and more) during our pregnancy

but have less than 10 lbs to lose. I'm on the treadmill 30 mins/day - 7 days a week.

We took the girls swimming in our pool on Saturday. They loved it. We held them

in our arms and waded up to their necks until we were sure they were comfortable.

Then we floated them on their backs. They were only in there for about 15 mins

before I dried them off and set them in their bassinets in the shade. It hasn't been

warm enough to take them again but I'm looking forward to the summer.

We're definitely going to sign them up for that infant survival swim training. Seems

pretty awesome esp since we have a pool.

Another thing - they're now too heavy to share the Pack n' Play bassinet and we

just wheel their regular bassinets outside or put them in their moses baskets. The

Pack n' Play would dip in the middle and kinda roll them towards each other. Didn't

seem safe anymore.

I finally received their birth certificates so I applied for their passports yesterday. It

seemed a little silly to take their photos but the clerk said lots of people try to

smuggle babies into the US every day and claim they were born here. *shrug*

We plan to go to Italy this summer if no summer virus blooms and we have

clearance from the docs. I also switched pediatricians. The guy was awful. He keep

tracking their h/w with fullterm babies because he felt their birth weight was high

enough to be considered fullterm. This is like the 100th time I've had them tell me

that but if that was the case, why are they still in the underweight %-tile for their

age? AGH! It's stupid. I do daily tracking exercises with them as well as look for

signs of hearing probs. Everything seems fine so far.

[Four&Me]

you are a rock star. in so many ways!!  :D  good vacation!!! :)

[Ravin]

Not a mom of twins, but I did think of something you might find helpful. Do you have a sling? For things like getting to/from the car (now) or grocery shopping (later when they can sit up and take turns in a cart), having a sling they can take turns in might be very helpful. Simply putting one in the sling would free you to carry the other on your shoulder or in a football hold, leaving you with a hand free to open a door.

[Smurfette2]

Originally Posted by Four&Me 

you are a rock star. in so many ways!!  :D  good vacation!!! :)

 Not a rock star. They lost weight and I had to stop their formula cocktails cold turkey!

Now I'm feeding them literally every 2 hours OR MORE. I don't understand why our milk

can't be heavier? Mother Nature did awesome in all other departments but every 2 hours

with twins... gimme a break!

Somehow, we're hanging in there. Swaddling them seems to do the trick in curbing some

of the fussiness while I set up shop for tandem nursing. Seriously, because I'm nursing so

often I haven't pumped much in 2 days. I have about a dozen or so 4 oz bottles in the

freezer, maybe three bottles in the fridge for DH but I need to find my rhythm to feeding

every 2 hours before I pump again. Yesterday I pumped in the daytime and yielded very

little milk. I only get computer time while I'm nursing and I was online ALL day! LOL.

I sit in the crook of my L-shaped couch with my $20 Walmart laptop podium between my

knees. Behind me is my handy dandy sex wedge, the EZ2Nurse pillow around me and a

twin on each side. When I finish nursing, I simply put them in their Moses basket sitting

on either side of me on the couch. My living room is officially a nursery ward. I have

diapers, wipes, spare clothes, pumps and blankets all within reach. The only time I get

up is for potty breaks or to grab something to eat. I even slept sitting semi-upright last

night, right here. Today I plan to be a little bit more mobile but I'm taking this adjusted

age thing seriously now. My main goal is to get them to put on weight. So if I have to sit

here for the next 4 weeks, I will.

What kind of sling are you Moms using?

[mylilmonkeys]

Yep, sounds familiar.  It gets better as they put on weight.  Mine are nearing 10 and 11 pounds, and finally are nursing a little faster and I can get a little time between feedings to do laundry or other quick tasks around the house.  My 5yo is so happy not to have to make his own sandwich for lunch every day! LOL  

Your commitment is fantastic.  Tandem nursing twins is hard!