Top 3 sources of information you found most helpful in preparing for UC

[thebassomatic76]

I am just beginning to seriously plan for a UC.  I'm 28 weeks pregnant and wanted a homebirth, but cannot find anyone to assist (CPMs are illegal here, and there are no CNMs that perform outside of a hospital here).  I am under the care of a local OB for prenatal care.  My choices appear to be hospital OB birth, or UC at home.  There are midwives an hour to two hours away, but even if I chose to go that route, I still need to be prepared for UC due to my personal and family birth history (quick births).

So, can those of you who have experience with UC share your top three recommendations for books/sources of information which helped you prepare for UC?  Also, if any of you had a DH/DP who was uncomfortable with or against UC, were you able to calm him down or get him on board for it?  How? 

Thank you in advance for any help.

[tracymom1]

Well, really the very best source of information I have found is the mamas here on MDC who have BTDT.  If you search back through the threads you will find a wealth of valuable information!  

This is a great thread about books: http://www.mothering.com/community/forum/thread/1287425/best-uc-books

For me, Emergency Childbirth by Gregory White is important to have.  I also really enjoy reading Laura Shanley's book and blog.  As far as supplies - it really depends on your comfort level.  I think the things you NEED to have are a warm towels/blankets, chux pads, something to cut and tie off the cord, something to put the placenta in (a large bowl), just in case herbals for excessive bleeding or placenta retention, and a positive attitude with lots of joy!

There are a million other supplies out there - some practical, some not.  The "extra" things I got are (mostly because I am UPing also):

a couple of amniotic fluid swab detectors just in case I suspect PROM

homeopathics for fatigue, pain, and infection

sterile gloves

birth pool and related supplies

I think thats it!! 

[yoma2468]

ITA with tracymom1, Previous post are great to look into. I've found helpful information from birth certificates to home birth supplies to natural remedies for everything. As of matter of fact, there is a ongoing list titled "Not so Basic Home birth Supply List" which is great for getting prepared for birth. I also download of copy of Emergency Childbirth and I really liked it because it was a quick reference for DH, who doesn't like to read at lot of "boring" material.

[thebassomatic76]

Thank you very much to both of you.  I intend to get started right away digging and reading.  :)

Anyone else with any advice on the DH situation?  While my DH hasn't come right and said he absolutely refuses to consider UC, he has explicity said he is "very, very, very uncomfortable with it."  Sadly, he's still under the idea that we should go to the hospital (3 blocks from our house) because it's "safer."  It's interesting that he is totally comfortable with a homebirth IF we had a midwife, though.

[craft_media_hero]

Thread-crashing

If you are three blocks from the hospital, I would just talk to dh and make a promise that if things are going awry (and I think you will know if they are, but I don't think that they will!), that you will transfer.

Three blocks from the hospital! Your house is practically a free-standing birth center! 

That said, I was in the same position (I could see the hosp from my bedroom) and my dh was still uncomfortable w/ UC; we ended up paying for a an hb midwife primarily to insure that he felt the birth was safe.

[ElizabethE]

1. Emergency Childbirth, White

2. Unassisted Homebirth, Griesemer

My third is debated in my head because after having my own experience, I felt I couldn't completely agree with all I had read. Some of it implied it was your own fault if your experience with UC wasn't totally blisstastic, and I can't agree.  I would say that just reading birth stories and medical information on the internet was #3 because it was the best motivation and preparation for me. There is SOOOO much out there. Any concern you have, just look it up, read the facts on it and some stories that go along with it. So much research and data doesn't get noticed, it's a shame. Look up the physiology of birth, for a start.

My husband was never against it. He's a reasonable and intelligent human being and when he heard me out, he believed in me and felt we could and should do this. I also asked him to read Emergency Childbirth and he did. I recommend all partners to read at least that, if not more. They should feel the same way you do about it, so presenting them with all the information you can is the best chance.

[Mamatoabunch]

1. http://www.gentlebirth.org/archives/

2. Heart and Hands

3. Emergency Childbirth for dh

[labortrials]

Yeah, someone has even posted a pdf of the White in the past.  Sorry I don't know where that is.  We'll be reading it even if we don't UC.

My DH is in no way interested in UC.  He just doesn't want that responsibility, and I get it.  Of course, I guess what you have to decide is where you'll place that responsibility and what does that really mean.  IMO, no matter what you guys decide to do, you're responsible for the decisions you do or don't make.  Not e/o sees it that way, but I do.  I guess that's why I'm open to UC and DH isn't.

I feel like UC is a responsible choice for me; however, perhaps given my history, we're better off trusting a midwife in a 'birth guardian' role.  If we go with a mw it's because she's more experienced and better equipped to deal with complications/emergencies.  Ha!  I'm still not sure what I'm going to do.  Sorry if I'm just adding to your confusion!!

[rsochi]

UC documents :: General picture by sunnywallace - Photobucket

https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-hpxSO8Bm-CM/TXZv3DYYzDI/AAAAAAAAEyw/OpnzZVPi2zk/s1600/NRP+flowchart.jpg

A google search of gregory white emergency childbirth -- the 4th result should be the PDF. 


Another great place to look is on CM Birth is Normal group -- there is a whole unassisted childbirth sticky where they really detail books and things to consider.

[mama naturale]

Gentle Birth Gentle Mothering (Sarah J Buckley) was a great book I just read in this pregnancy - great info from a Dr who freebirthed her last baby and had her first 3 at home.

I read a lot online when I was pregnant with my 4th baby (my first UC) but a lot of it has disappeared such as the purebirth website. An article I found helpful was Fish cant see water by Marsden Wagner.

My husband was not for UC at all in the beginning of my last pregnancy. My mind was well and truly made up before I even became pregnant. I didn't argue with him (though I was upset by his lack of support and understanding). But he was quite taken aback by the idea of doing it on our own and even by homebirth though he did suggest a midwife. Finally he did his own research after not even wanting to discuss it (watching Business of Being Born helped a great deal) and accepted it was ultimately my decision. He is totally  on board in this pregnancy so its an interesting contrast.

[thebassomatic76]

Thanks very much to all of you.  DH finally started reading this week, and he seems to be warming, though he's still apprehensive.  He's never argued with the information I've presented him and always seems to agree, but like one of you mentioned I think he's a little afraid of the ultimate responsibility should anything go wrong.  He's doing a little more reading of his own this week though, and that seems to be helping.

[moonfirefaery]

"Special Delivery" by Rahima Baldwin, a great book on midwifery

"Spiritual Midwifery" by Ina May Gaskin; the birth stories really helped me keep a positive attitude on birth

"Rediscovering Birth" by Sheila Kitzinger opened my eyes to many cultural differences regarding childbirth.

I recommend a neonatal resuscitation class. They may not let you in the class, but you may be able to contact an instructor who would come to your home and teach you the basics for a small fee.

Please research both pregnancy and birth complications so that you can learn how to recognize and manage them--and when a hospital transfer is necessary. It's not good to dwell on negative thoughts, but it is good to be prepared. :)

[rsochi]

Originally Posted by moonfirefaery 

I recommend a neonatal resuscitation class. They may not let you in the class, but you may be able to contact an instructor who would come to your home and teach you the basics for a small fee.

Why wouldn't she be able to attend a NRP class? 

Anyone can take Karen Strange's class -- and it's the best of the best.  http://www.newbornbreath.com/workshops.html
If you can't attend hers, you can try local hospitals, WIC offices, recreation centers and daycares or even local colleges.  They can point you in the right direction.  Or, you can see if any are listed here:  http://www.aap.org/nrp/nrpmain.html

[ElizabethE]

Originally Posted by labortrials 

Yeah, someone has even posted a pdf of the White in the past.  Sorry I don't know where that is.  We'll be reading it even if we don't UC.

My DH is in no way interested in UC.  He just doesn't want that responsibility, and I get it. He isn't truly the one responsible-- you are. It's the woman and her body and her birth that are ultimately in the driver's seat. Of course, I guess what you have to decide is where you'll place that responsibility and what does that really mean.  IMO, no matter what you guys decide to do, you're responsible for the decisions you do or don't make. Bingo. So what he's really saying by placing someone else in charge is "I trust them more than you or me." That bubble can be burst for your ease, but he should make no mistake that he is in no way absolved of his perceived responsibility in this. His role is still there and still exists, like it or not.  Not e/o sees it that way, but I do.  I guess that's why I'm open to UC and DH isn't.

I feel like UC is a responsible choice for me; however, perhaps given my history, we're better off trusting a midwife in a 'birth guardian' role.  If we go with a mw it's because she's more experienced and better equipped to deal with complications/emergencies.  Ha!  I'm still not sure what I'm going to do.  Sorry if I'm just adding to your confusion!!

I wonder what in your history makes you think you will be prone to complications and emergencies? Sorry if you've told us and I've already forgotten.

[ElizabethE]

RE: Mama Naturale's post-- Marsden Wagner is a genius. Also, The Business of Being Born is a great starting point for all the deprogramming that is needed to cross over. I am so glad your husband finally understood.

RE: Moonfire's post-- Infant CPR classes should be available for most people. Good recommendation. Take it, learn it. Emergency Childbirth (my fave? lol) is great at recognizing emergencies and knowing how to handle them on your own AND when a hospital transfer is necessary. I know that for me, this knowledge empowered me and I felt equipped to handle my birth. I felt prepared for anything.

[moonfirefaery]

rsochi - Yes, Karen Strange is an excellent teacher! I learned from her before my UC. I would have loved to have done her workshop. The reason I learned from her is because I couldn't find a local NPR class that would even let me sit in without being certified, because I wasn't a birth professional. That's why I stated it can be difficult to find a class, especially if you're on limited funds.

[labortrials]

Originally Posted by ElizabethE 

RE: Mama Naturale's post-- Marsden Wagner is a genius. Also, The Business of Being Born is a great starting point for all the deprogramming that is needed to cross over. I am so glad your husband finally understood.

RE: Moonfire's post-- Infant CPR classes should be available for most people. Good recommendation. Take it, learn it. Emergency Childbirth (my fave? lol) is great at recognizing emergencies and knowing how to handle them on your own AND when a hospital transfer is necessary. I know that for me, this knowledge empowered me and I felt equipped to handle my birth. I felt prepared for anything.

Ding ding!!

Oh, and EE you were asking why I think I might not be appropriate for UC.  Oh, I know I can chock it up to fear mongering, but my childbearing years have been highly interventive:

1. 2004 c/s
2. 2008 curretage for 10w loss; I was bleeding out; the 1st thing the OB said to me when I came to was that my LUS was too thin to ever consider a VBAC (B!t6h!!)
3. 2008 hysteroscopy - specialist (RE surgeon) removed adenomyosis from my anterior uterine wall; the adeno was likely caused by the c/s
4. 2009 repeat c/s for double footling breech twins; again thin LUS diagnosis (but hello, I carried 2 normal sized babies to term AND labored for at least 3 hours before I had to be cut)

Oh, and BTW I totally agree with what you embedded in my earlier post.  If I choose to or not to UC, I'll have to deal with the consequences (hopefully all good!)!!

[moonfirefaery]

Let me start by saying that whatever your choice is, I'll respect it. But I personally would want a midwife there at my birth if I had that birth history. The risks seem to increase more significantly with 3+ C-sections than 1 or 2, and you've only had 2. However, because of the curretage and the hysteroscopy in addition to those, I would have strong reservations. There is a lot of fear mongering out there, but it's not all fear mongering. That's just me, though. I believe you can do it if you truly believe that's the right choice, but I am realistic in that I acknowledge the risks could be higher for you. How much so, I'm not sure, but I would be properly cowed.

I have a huge fear of C-sections though. I had nightmares about them when I was pregnant with Orin. The hospital threatened me with a C-section with Corbin (WTF, you're going to take away my right to give birth? and if it's so great, why would you use it to threaten me?). I developed a niggling fear of them then that grew worse when I learned the risks associated with them, not just for the present but the future as well.

Good luck to you, whatever you decide :)

[Max'sMama]

I am so glad to see this post.  The top three things....I am not planning a UC but am preparing for the possibility.  My MWs are about an hour away and with the pattern of my previous births I am not counting on a super lengthy labor.  So that leads DH and I to preparing to have to possibly be on our own.  Or quite frankly me being alone with my kids when I deliver.  I am super happy that my 7 year old can read and would be able to call people if I need for him to do so.  

Off to read any great ideas people have!

[annaconda]

I cannot weigh in about UCing, I think every person has to come to a really considered decision on h/her own about that.

With regards to DH and warming, I have tried to give the issue space, keep my cool, help him keep his, and talk about it few and far between, while savoring the pregnancy together.  You could push the issue for a resolution, but you could also ventilate it and let it sit.  Dh didn't read anything till about 8 months.  He's now reading the Birth Partner

We also have Emergency Childbirth and Shanley's book.

I actually posted a bit about it in another few threads.  It's not gone exactly as I planned but it's ended up in a pretty good place.