the truth about pushing - Page 2

[Monarchgrrl]

Originally Posted by InsideOut 

I too just grunted DS out. About 20 minutes before DS was born, I started grunting and bearing down with each surge. I couldn't help either of those reactions. I wasn't so much pushing "down there" as my belly/abs were contracting and moving DS down and out. It's difficult to explain but there was nothing for me to think about, my body was just doing! The only things my midwives said were words of encouragement and to feel DS' head when he came down. The whole experience was great.

That was my experience, too, exactly! 20 minutes after the first grunting. Bearing down. There was no stopping it, no thinking about it, and my abs were doing it all. I tried to hold back as she was crowning because I was so scared of tearing (I didn't) but there really was no stopping it.

[Owen'nZoe]

I've had 2 natural births, and like many of the other ladies said, in my experience your body just pushes. For my first, I still had a little lip on my cervix when the urge to push started. My doctor mostly let me listen to my body, but she did tell me not to push until the lip disappeared. I completely snapped at her, and remember my doula whispering in my ear that it was OK to give tiny little grunty pushes, which I did. Once I the lip finally thinned out and I was given the OK to push, it took a few kind of akward pushes before my body just got it. This is kind of a strange analogy, but it reminded me a bit of dancing. Maybe it is just because I'm not the most confident dancer and am somewhat challenged musically ;), but when I first start to dance I feel a bit awkward and like I am off beat. After maybe 30 uncomfortable seconds, I start hearing the music and dancing with it instead of against it. Learning how to push felt a little like that - I knew my timing was off at first, and then it wasn't. But how I figured it out? I don't really know.

For the second birth, I had a midwife who was pretty hands off (in a good way - I loved her!) She gave me no direction on pushing that I remember, except to warn me that for a second birth, transition is often not as bad as the first time, but pushing can be more intense. Both were true in my case! Once I was pushing she just let me do my thing. I didn't tear either time, and there were no complications, so it worked well for me.

[Neuromancer]

I had a surprise breech homebirth and could barely control my pushing.  I was grunting and contracting, but not consciously pushing.  My body was almost on auto-pilot.  I was on my hands and knees.  I did not keep track of time, but pushed maybe 30 minutes and I did not tear.

[Jaimee]

With my first, I reached 10cm and had absolutely no urge to push.  My midwife told me to start and I thought, how strange, I just start pushing?  How exactly?  It was the most unnatural thing and it wasn't until I was pregnant with my second that I realized I had been experiencing a latent or resting stage that is not at all uncommon.  Between reaching 10cm and the urge to push there could be a period of a few minutes or even hours where the body shuts down and lets you rest.  I didn't know this so I didn't know to stand up for myself and tell the midwife I wanted to wait.  I imagine this would be even harder with an OB.

So I read a lot during my second pregnancy about the second stage of labor and found a few great websites about pushing myths.

http://www.unassistedchildbirth.com/inspired/river.html

http://birthskirt.blogspot.com/2010/03/rule-of-10-versus-womens-primal-wisdom.html

http://sarahvine.wordpress.com/2010/03/07/how-dilated-am-i-assessing-dilation-without-an-internal-exam/

With my second, my husband and I were birthing mostly unassisted (a midwife was in a different room than us) so I didn't have anyone telling me when I was 10cm or when to start pushing.  I reached a point in transition where I had just had enough and thought to myself, I'll just try pushing a little and see what happens.  As soon as I let my body start that motion I couldn't stop it.  I let out a roar and the baby flew all the way down to the perineum.  Then my body shut down for about 2 minutes and with another roaring push my son's head came out and half a push later he was all the way out.  Just like that.

[javilu]

My natural urge to push also felt like I needed to poop. I actually thought to myself "if I can just get this HUGE poo out, I can get on with having the baby." Except, there was no huge poo. Ha. It was the baby! I had no choice but to push, really, just like if your body really needs to pee or poop or puke or laugh or whatever else, it just does it. Plus, I also felt like I would feel much better after I "pooped," and I did, just minus the poo. The only directed pushing I had was one big one for the placenta, because I was tired and dazed and distracted by then, and needed some encouragement. That part was actually a very nice sensation - really soft and warm!

[GoBecGo]

With #1 i was told not to push so i didn't.  It was hard, tiring and terrifying, and after 2 hours of "not pushing" (just grunty little ones between the top-of-lungs roaring i was doing so i wouldn't push) DD was born.  I did ONE "good" push, and she came ears-to-toes in that push.  I hated not pushing.

With #2 there was a knot in her cord and she was pretty high when i was fully dilated.  I had been grunting at the peaks of contractions (i roar when i contract, so i would go ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu during a contraction and during a pushy one it would be ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh gh gh oooooooooooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuu) and then she decided it was time.  I pushed for 6 minutes, i remember noting at different points what i was doing with fascination since i wasn't thinking about any of it.  Like for example i pushed right through one contraction, then rested then pushed right through the next, and the gap and the next and then she was out.  I'm pretty sure her knot was bothering her and she put her foot to the floor (literally, onto the fundus, pushing herself lower and making my body push without a contraction) to get born.  I also noticed that between pushes i was sheep-breathing (panting) without any plan to do so, or direction from anyone.  It was just the direct feedback between my perineum and brain at work.

Don't worry Mama, it'll all happen.  Your butt knows how.

[Juniperberry]

My birth experience with ds2 was amazing. Totally natural with a mw. She actually told me not to push but to let my body push out the baby. I let my body take over and he came out without any epi or tears and pretty quickly too :)

[DaisyMay]

I'm kind of the odd one out here - I've never had the urge to push with either of my 2 births.  Number 1, I was fully dilated and waited like 2 hours for my body's natural ejection reflex to kick in.  I'd studied hypnobirthing which is all about breathing the baby down, no pushing required.  So I was doing that with nothing happening.  (I was at home, no drugs)  My midwives started to get a bit restless then, and my contractions had started to slow down (I'd been going a long time and was exhausted, not holding down any food etc) so at their direction I pushed HARD, despite no strong urge.  After about an hour and a half of hard hard pushing my son was born - would my body have birthed him in it's own time if I hadn't pushed on direction?  Not sure. He wasn't getting distressed or anything, but think the concern was more that I was getting exhausted.  With my daughter again, no urge to push but during/after transition she had a heart decel and my midwife said something along the lines of "we need to get this baby out" and I pushed her out in one.  The reflex was obviously working that time, and/or my muscles were much more pliable!  Midwife was surprised - she'd meant like hopefully in the next half hour or so, not immediately, but my body responded in any case.  So I don't know in either case if the "urge" to push would have come if I'd just waited longer.  My 2nd midwife did comment, when I was recounting the experience of my first birth, that she didn't think it was always possible to "breathe" the baby out, especially with a first birth.  And she was very hands-off/natural/let the body lead in her approach and very experienced.  Sometimes she said, you do have to push hard, but obviously the ideal situation would be to wait until the urge comes.  I'm hoping the urge will come naturally to me this time! 

[lyterae]

My first one (hospital birth that ended in c-section) - no drugs during labor and I was instructed to push and told to push when I hit 10cm

My most recent birth, it was all of a sudden and my body did it all on it's own. I wasn't consiouscly trying to push, it just happened. My midwife did have me breathe through them for about 15 minutes (cervix was still a little in the way) and then she let me push as I wanted to - asking me to breathe at some points to help things "stretch". I did have two skid marks, but I didn't tear - 45 minutes of pushing.

[lovingmommyhood]

I've never felt the urge to push as I've had epidurals plus nurse led pushing for all three of my babies but all three were out in way under 5 minutes and I've never ripped or been cut. Sorry I'm no help!! Maybe this time I'll skip the epidural then I would know. :D I've heard the urge to push is strong when your body is ready. 

[Mizelenius]

All natural births . . .had the urge to push the first three times.  Last time, I knew I was at 10 and just felt done being pregnant, so I pushed and #4 came out within minutes.  Strange since I thought I HAD to have that real urge to push to make it work.

I think if you are in the right position, it should take little work.  The biggest mistake is to overdo it.  It does not have to be a big or dramatic thing.  I even see the purpose of the Ring of Fire-- makes you want to BE DONE.

[happysmileylady]

I have given birth three times, 2 no drugs, 1 epidural.  And with all three, the urge to push was very overwhelming.  The only difference for me between the pushing with the epidural vs without was the feeling of the baby coming down, and the level of pain.  The urge to push didn't change and I was still in pain with the epidural, just not as much. 

With all three of my pregnancies, I have a long lead up in labor, many hours.  Then, when I hit transition, at about 7 or 8 cm, things begin to FLY.  It's at that point that I hit that "wall" and am convinced that I can't do it any more.  But, all three times, within like 10 minutes of hitting that 7 or 8 cm point, I am complete within 5 minutes and baby is out within 30.  I don't think I have ever pushed more than 5 times, including placenta delivery.  My body immediately begins to push for me, and my pushing is more like giving in and enhancing what my body is doing, rather than me actively deciding to push. 

[proud2bemommy]

you will feel it when you need to push trust me

[saoirse2007]

my body heaved dd out too...lol

very loud grunting (I could not control it and I think it helped me not hold back!)

I actually woke up in the night (early sat am) with a single heave...dd was born early sunday am

[Daffodil]

With my first, I had an epidural and pushed when they told me to.  With my second, the midwife suggested that I might want to try pushing, I did, and my water broke.  Then she and the nurse wanted to check my cervix, find the baby's heartbeat, etc. so they had me lie down while they did that.  They couldn't find the heartbeat (they didn't have any reason to think there wasn't one, just couldn't be sure about it), so the midwife started urging me to push the baby out.  But I was still lying down, which felt really uncomfortable, and I kept having what felt like one non-stop contraction.  I felt like I couldn't change my position, or think about pushing, or anything, unless I got a break from the contractions, but I never got one.  The midwife kept urging me to push and I was just sort of flopping around and saying, "I can't!" but I did try.  I didn't feel like it was very effective pushing, but I guess it was good enough.  The baby was out in no more than 10 minutes.  I don't remember any real urge to push, or any point when it felt like my pushes were really doing very much.  I also don't remember any "ring of fire" moment.

[heybella]

The reason the urge feels similar to the urge to poop for some and the reason that eventually you will respond reflexively is because there is a nerve the runs along the front of the rectum and then into the top of the vaginal canal, the pelvic nerve.  When the baby's head is low enough, the cord is struck and your body responds.  When you need to poop, the rectum expands and presses on the nerve from the other side, thus letting you know to get to a toilet.  (I'm also a labor nurse and childbirth educator!)

Both my children were born at home and the pushing began on it's own, my body was pushing and I followed.  I did tear with my first, I was squatting and she came in about 20 minutes.  With my second, I was in the water and at the point when I felt his head begin to emerge, I blew the urge to push away as much as I could so that I could let the area stretch more slowly.  I did not tear with this birth, but it could have been the water and the cellular memory to expand as he was born in less that 15 minutes of pushing. 

If you do some work now, during the pregnancy, to tune into sensation and physical response, it will really help.  Do some breathing work connected to drawing in and releasing the pelvic floor so that you can strengthen the muscles and also your awareness.  Yoga classes are a great way to tune into the body as well.

Good luck.

K

[llwr]

Once I get the urge to push, there's really no choice about it.  My body does it whether I mean to or not.  I can purposely push more or avoid pushing more, but my body will bear down regardless.  That's actually the reason I got an epidural with my first.  I got the urge at only 7cm and was scared I would damage my cervix.  It's totally different wo the epi.  You'll know when. 

[camprunner]

With #1, I felt her moving down and felt a huge urge to push when I still had a lip. I pushed lightly anyway because that's what felt best. Oddly enough when they decided I could push, I didn't feel the need anymore but they kept chanting that I should push so I did.  I probably would have been ok waiting.

With #2, I felt no urge to push. I didn't want to push because the ring of fire from #1 was clearly in the my head. Contractions were getting worse with each one I didn't push with so I finally reasoned that I could push and have it over with OR I could continue to have contractions coming one on top of the other ....I chose to push.