do(es) your dc play alone?

[jackson'smama]

'cause mine don't.  at least not often.  i sah and it seems from the time my eyes open until theirs close, all i hear is "mommy, play with me" or "mommy watch me". they are 6 and almost 4.  both boys. 

i struggle between not wanting my kids to look back and say "mommy never played" and with them seeing that adults do more than play.  if i played all day as they requested, we'd live in a junk pile and never eat or bathe.  i'm serious. 

there is no "filling their cup".  i can't "get them started and walk away".  if you give an inch they will literally take a mile...day in, day out.  every.single.day.  they cannot get enough of mom and dad.

i homeschool them but we do get out of the house most days it seems for something.

i remember going out and having to be called in as a child and i was an only child with occasional playmates over from  school or the neighborhood.  i don't remember my parents playing with me at all.  we have 4 fenced acres and fields and fields beyond.  they have power wheels, a garden for digging, basketball, outdoor balls, trucks, swings, a playhouse, a little "fort" in the trees, a little "secret path" dh cleared for them thru the field to the fort.  but they won't go out and play with any of it unless dh or i is right.there.with.them.

i also have a 6mo dd, and i'm tired.  i don't want to build legos.  or race cars.  or pretend to be optimus prime.

i feel like a bad mom though.

help!

[D_McG]

your house sounds awesome!

My kids play alone a lot (they are 4 and 2). They have to though. I'd go insane playing with them all day. I'd like to be the play all day kinda mom but I'm just not and we've all accepted it.

I usually play more than I do atm (8 mos pregnant). But often during the day they hear "Go play! I need to _____". It's OK, I think. They have fun.

[Cujobunny]

Yes my kids do play alone together. ds is 6 and dd is 3.5. They do ask me to play and I do sometimes but I can't, like you say, or we'd never eat and the house would be a total mess. So I tell them yes I can play for a few minutes but then I have to do laundry (or whatever) do you want to help?  That lets them still be with me and I can still get things done. Also cuz I'm usually on a time limit- I have a 6wk old ds and I try to get things done while he's sleeping or awake and happy.

I do say no as well but I try to remember that it's good to have quality time with me doing what they want so I will read the same book over and over again or pretend to be the race car announcer or some game I hate and be excited about it LOL

[bonamarq]

This is also a big function of their temperament - some kids just are hard wired to seek constant human interaction - I have one of those kiddos myself and she is 7 yo and the only thing she does by herself is watch pbs/video - in the last year or so she has added to that creative pursuits but more often than not it is while the tv is on - like she needs it for company - as a mom who had set her sights on being tv free, this is a huge disappointment for me but I have responsibilities beyond being her play mate! She's an only tho and that makes it a bit harder to just say 'go play'

If I were you I might try setting aside time at a regular time that is 'Mommy playtime' and let them take the lead - but outside of that you have your resp. etc and you can help meet their needs but otherwise it's not 'mommy playtime' right now

and I am with you - I have NO memories of playing with either of my parents (I don't even remember them reading to me at all - I'm sure they did some but it was surely not a regular thing - I say this with sadness and regret and I do not want my dd to have that kind of experience - and she doesn't AT ALL - but it was different then and it seems to be all in what children come to expect as normal