Advice during 2WW?? So anxious and STRESSED!!!

[Bfillingham]

I am in my 2WW at the moment (About 6-7 DPO) but I am SUPER STRESSED out, which I know is not good. It is mainly because my Fiance (who I have been with for 5 years) is from England. He was just here during my fertile stage in my cycle (Yippee!) and has just gone back to England. The next time he comes over, it will be for good. Thank God! But that could be anywhere from 4-6 months away. So if I do not get a BFP this time around.. We may have to wait up to 6 months before we can even attempt to TTC again :(  We have finally been able to TTC this last time he came to visit, since he will be here for good soon, so of course we are both anxious to start a family! It is just hard for me because there is no telling myself "Oh well we can just try next month" if I do get a BFN and I am so scared on how I will react if that does happen :( I understand some women have to wait months and months or even years to get a BFP, but not even being able to try for possibly 6 months just kills me!

Does anyone have any advice to help me just remain patient and stress free? I am afraid I will ruin any chances I have at being pregnant by stressing and worrying about it too much. Thanks for any advice in advance!!!!

Edited by Bfillingham - 4/5/11 at 8:54pm

[callieollie]

That would be hard, knowing you have to wait if you don't get a BFP this month.  I have no advice on not stressing though, I'd be the same way!  

I'm in my 2ww too. I've been technically ttc since January 2010 and we've had 2 miscarriages in that time.  This is our first month ttc after our most recent loss in January.  I am feeling hopeful about this cycle - our timing was great, my temps are great, but I know that isn't a guarantee. I hate waiting - the 2ww stinks!  I'm 7-8dpo so we're right near each other. When do you plan to test? I might test as early as Saturday but I'm not sure.  I'm going to see how I feel each morning to decide.  I hate this part!  

[KnittinKitten]

2WW sucks!!! oh well, it's a good lesson in motherhood, patience. I think what helps me is to take a few deep breaths and send that baby (here or in the ethers) love every time I feel anxious. 6 months is a long time to wait to try so here's wishing you a bfp in a few short days!

[Bfillingham]

Thank you so much for the reply, CallieOllie! I am sure your situation has been difficult with the miscarriages, how far along in were they? I am also anxious because this is my first time TTC so I have no idea how it will go and if I will have problems or not. I do somewhat worry because about a year ago when my fiance was over visiting, our protection failed. (Condom) About 6-7 DPO I got horribly sore nipples, and was peeing nonstop. I also had several faint positives on several different tests a few days later that got darker and darker the closer I got to my expected period. Althought we werent TTC, we were still excited. About 2 days before my period was expected, I got my period :( Almost immediatly the symptoms went away and the faint positives became very obvious negatives. So that made me wonder why it didnt stick. Although i do know chem pregnancies are pretty common.

You seem very strong and optimistic though, so I really look up to you for that!! I hope that you get your BFP this time around :) I already tested this morning (LOL) I knew it was basically impossible to get a positive but I was amost hoping that I just O'ed waaaay sooner than I expected. Haha. It was BFN of course. I bought 5 dollar store tests, and if I get a positive on one of them, then I will buy a digital to confirm. But with my obsessive testing there is no point wasting money! I am going to do everything in my power to wait to test until this weekend and even then it may be too early to get a +.

Definitely keep me updated! I would love to hear that you got your BFP :) Stay strong!!! XO

[Bfillingham]

Thank you marykgrove!! You're completely right, 2WW does suuuuuck!!!

Edited by Bfillingham - 4/5/11 at 8:46pm

[bobcat]

But wouldn't you rather be together when you conceive, to go through the pregnancy together? I can understand being obsessed with babymaking (as a woman, it's just kinda something that happens!) but by the same token, togetherness is important. Your fiance is gonna be gone for awhile! I would think that in itself would be what's dominating my thoughts.....how much I am going to miss HIM. Not whether or not I will have a baby growing in my belly. So one way to look at the situation, is to think of the two of you, together, and think that that is the basis for your future family.....and that is the most important thing right now, building that base.

I haven't had a pregnancy that has gone to term yet (one miscarriage), but I do think pregnancy will be a great time for my hubby and I to grow as a couple and love on each other, basking in the excitement. So it would be sad to miss out on that! So in a way, if it's a BFN, maybe it will be a blessing in disguise, and the fun of pregnancy will be experienced together instead? So I guess my advice to you would be to focus on all the beautiful things you two have coming up, as a couple. All the fun times you will experience TOGETHER. Pregnancy is an exciting time for the man too, so why let him miss out on that? He's not just your sperm donor, he is your partner in this. I'm sure you know that, but your post doesn't quite convey it. ;)

In the meantime, there will be things you can do to get ready for a baby. Declutter "stuff" from your home (that is the phase I'm in, since we can't yet afford to TTC. But we have also been working hard on our relationship). Save money. Just get everything in order, so that when you go back to TTC, you'll be ready! I personally have also been working on getting in great physical shape, so my body will be a really healthy place for a baby to grow. I'm running to increase my stamina and working on building muscle tone.

Sorry you are going through this time of waiting! I know how it feels to long for baby, but for whatever reason, you gotta sometimes face that "waiting but wanting" period. So I guess focus on other things, and I think not only will the 2WW fly by, but maybe the next 4-6 months will fly by too! And if you do get that BFP this month, CONGRATS!

[Stevi]

Yeah, try to think about the consolation prize if this cycle doesn't work. You'll have him by your side as you go through every step of your pregnancy. He'll be there to run to the store for that craving you have in the middle of the night. You'll be able to laugh at him when he suddenly develops morning sickness. He'll be there to see the heartbeat on the uiltrasound, and hear it, too! And he'll be there to feel that first kick, and talk to your growing belly.

You'll still be upset if you don't get your BFP right away, but you'll have all of the above and more to look forward to.

[Bfillingham]

Bobcat-- I definitely understand where you are coming from, but also I have been in this long distance relationship for 5 years now, there were tons of things that we couldn't go through together physically (And very important things..deaths, birthdays, holidays etc) but we definitely have unconditional love for one another and learned how to deal with it and connect on a deeper level besides just physically. Otherwise we would not have made it this far! :) The distance used to be hard for both of us, but we have gotten past that. (Dont get me wrong, just like you said you would be missing HIM, that will still be the case, but we have become SO strong with everything that we have gone through, mainly.. the being apart aspect. I will miss him for sure, but I have completely gotten used to being away from him as well. What gets us through is knowing that one day we will be together for good. We talk every single day, just as much, or more than normal couples who live together. We have an insanely strong base, all due to being strong enough to be in SUCH a long distance relationship for so long. The statement about having him send me his sperm was COMPLETELY a joke lol :) It was more so said to just make fun of myself and how obsessed I am with getting pregnant, just like many of us on this site.

But also, I dont think I mentioned this before, but it will probably clear up a lot for you as far as him being able to be a part of the pregnancy as well.. If I do end up pregnant, my fiance also already committed to coming here until the Fiance Application goes through if we both think that is best. He would be allowed to be here for 6 months on a Visitors Visa while the other one is in progress.. and the Fiance Visa will not take more than another 6 months. So there would be no gap in him being here during my pregnancy!! (if that is even what we decided to do) The only reason he is not staying here in the US until the app goes through at this point is because it will be his last 6 months in England before moving here for good. (Besides going back to visit etc) So if I do end up pregnant, there will be no issues with him coming here to be a part of the pregnancy :) BUT, if I do end up preg and we decide he should stay in England, I know we will be just fine. Technology works wonders these days, we have managed for the past 5 years :) Also, he would be here for the last 3 months of the pregnancy.. and the birth. I have a friend who is pregnant at the moment and her husband will be deployed for all of her pregnancy, including the birth. But he made the decision to go into the ARMY knowing this could one day happen, and they made the decision to get pregnant at the time of his deployment. This day in age, it doesn't always work out that a couple will be together for all of a pregnancy, all depends on how you look at it I suppose :) If we felt it was neccessary for him to be here during my pregnancy, by all means, we would make it possible.

Thank you for your advice to stay busy! There is a lot I am doing at the moment, including a lot of shopping for healthier foods (JUST in case) Looking into different baby names, decluttering is definitely something I will attempt to do as well! (Though I have a problem with getting rid of things sometimes! LOL! I already used to work out a decent amount, but I am also making it mandatory every day, I also want a very healthy place for a baby to grow! Thanks for the advice, and I hope this "waiting" time flies as well!! Good luck to you in your future of TTC!!!

[Bfillingham]

I just left a very long comment but it is "being held for moderation" because I am new. I hope it goes through!

Sorry, I should have mentioned this in my last post, but if I do end up pregnant, my Fiance will have the option to come here and be with me during the pregnancy until the Fiance Application goes through, he would just come on a Visitors Visa :) The main reason he went back to England instead of just staying, is because it would be his last 6 months there before coming here for good (besides going back to visit.) So he would most definitely come to stay with me if I did end up pregnant, but he would not come back just to TTC if we got a BFN. But if we both felt he needed to be here for my pregnancy, instead of staying in England, then we would by all means make it happen So we would definitely have the option of going through it together :) Thanks for the comments ladies!

Thanks for the advice to stay busy Bobcat, I definitely need to de-clutter lol! :)

And that's a very good way to look at things Stevi! If I do get a BFN, I will just look at it like.. at least he gets to stay in England and enjoy his last 6 months there. I like the positive attitudes on this site! Thank you!!! xo

Edited by Bfillingham - 4/5/11 at 8:56pm