How do you get the most out of therapy?

[NicaG]

I've had lifelong issues with depression and have been on antidepressants for most of my adult life. I was in therapy for about a year about 10 years ago. At the time it seemed helpful, but I can't remember what made it "good." I recently started therapy again, I've been seeing this therapist for about 2 months. It doesn't feel quite right, but I can't put my finger on it. I can't tell if I'm not connecting with the therapist, or maybe I'm not working hard enough, or maybe I need more clearly defined goals within therapy. It's a big investment of my time and money and I want to get something out of it. Can anyone give me some insight on how therapy feels when it's working, how to make it work better, how to know when you're with a therapist you can work well with....etc etc. Thanks!

[Starflower]

I think therapy can have different goals, so it's possible that your previous therapy from 10 years ago was meeting some need and therefore was good, even if you can't pinpoint why.

In your current situation, I think you are on the right track by questioning it. You posed some excellent questions, that if you answer for yourself, may point you to an answer. Could you make a list of some of the things you'd like to accomplish through therapy this time? The answers you come up with could help you determine if you have the best therapist for your goals/situation. I would also discuss this with your therapist.

If you don't trust the therapist enough to discuss these things with them, then I would think it's time to look for a different therapist altogether. Or you may decide after discussing your goals that you'd like to work with someone else. Or you could end up both being on the same page, so to speak, which could help you work effectively with your current therapist.

As for not working hard enough, what makes you think this? What would working hard enough look like to you? (I'm not asking you to answer here, but you may want to ask yourself.)

I hope you find some answers and that you begin to feel like you are making progress.