The Questions!

[mrskatiekuj]

My son is newly 3, and my lord he asks a lot of questions. In his defense they are legitimate and specific questions, not just "why", but can quickly get irritating all the same. During the day they don't bother me as much, but its during bedtime stories that it really gets to me. He asks questions almost every sentence I read. Its made reading to him almost a chore (which makes me really sad to say because I love reading to my kids). On one hand, I'm glad he is so curious and inquisitive, but on the other I'd really love to just make it through a page without a question - especially when I am trying to calm them for bedtime.

what do you say to your toddlers when the questions become overwhelming? Do you answer them continuously? I don't want to squash his interest but I feel like sometimes there has to be a limit - but am unsure of a kind way to tell him.

[1stTimeMama4-4-10]

My theory (I'm no expert so take it for what it's worth) is that when children ask questions, they already have an idea of what the answer is and want a chance to talk about it. So if your LO asks why the sky is blue, they probably already have a potential answer in mind, and want a chance to talk about it. Instead of saying "because that is the light being refracted through the atmosphere," I would say, "that's a really good question, why do you think it's blue? And turn the questions into an opportunity for the child to really explore their own theories instead of simply answering the questions. If the child is truly interested, you can follow up and look up the answer together or do something hands on to demonstrate whatever it is the child is interested in.  Good luck!

[McGucks]

Ditto to PP about turning it around and asking your child "Why do you think..." when they ask you.  I think part of the "why" phenomenon is that children of that age have limited language/conversational skills and learn that asking a "why" question ensures (usually) a verbal response of some kind.  But, yes, it can be maddening!  Good luck!

[physmom]

DD asks a lot of questions... we just try and answer as best as we can.  If it's something that we can easily demonstrate that we'll do that (for instance, why do the shadows move?).  Before bed she'll try and talk a lot to stall going to sleep (this kid HATES sleeping) but once that becomes clear we just shut of the lights and say it's bedtime.  However, if she seems to be in the middle of something or close to understanding something (like your example about asking a ton of questions on the same page) we might try and talk it through with her as best we can and then instead of finishing the book just end it with that page (or maybe set a time limit on reading instead of the number of books). 

[simplemama32]

I agree with asking the child what they think the answer is.  With DS, I keep answering him as long as my patience-level can stand it , and then I'll either turn the question back to him or give him some totally off the wall/funny answer and that usually distracts him from more questions. 

[anjsmama]

Couldn't agree more with the PP. What's crazy about my DS is that he was (at least, in my view) a late talker. He is almost 32 months, and at 30 months he said about 30 words, with no 2-word phrases. Now he says about 3000 words and speaks in full sentences. What began as immense relief at his newfound chattering, quickly turned exasperating. And the vast majority of the sentences sound like this... "Why Mom?" "Why do we go to Mom Mom's house?" "Why change Jeana's diaper?" "When lunch time?" "Why naptime at daytime, and bedtime at nighttime?" - It makes me crazy! Sometimes it's just why, and other times it's why with a very lengthy question, or what is that, or what does it do.. etc. And I know how you feel, sometimes I want to snap when I'm TRYING to enjoy something - reading, etc. So when he starts into a steam roll of questions I tell him to come see me and let's talk. I ask him what he wants to talk about. He picks a subject. Then I ask him what he wants to say or know about it. He really, really enjoys these "talks" and he is a lot less questioning afterwards.

Sometimes I answer the questions for awhile, then I turn around and ask him what he thinks, and then I say we'll have talk time instead. I also sometimes try to walk him through answer... like he asks "Why did Dad go to work?" and I say "Why do you think Dad went?" and he'll say "To make money", and I'll say .. "To make money for.........." And he says "Meat, eggs, clothes, house, & my bank!" (of all the things we've told him money is used for, these seem to be his favorite). That way when we get to the end of the discussion about DH being at work, he has a really complete answer about where he is, why he's there, and when he'll return.... so we don't have to revisit that question 100 times! Although I admit, I have caught myself a few times with... "Because Mommy said so!" :)