Is CIO the only way to wean?

[Lisa1970]

It is after 4am here. My 19 month old has been nursing since 2am. If I stopped even to go potty (I am pregnant) he screams bloody murder while I am in there. At maybe 3:45am, I tried placing him in his crib and walking away, but instead, he just screamed louder and louder for 10 minutes while all the mental implications of cio ran through my head. I went back and got him and nursed for another 10 minutes while grinding my teeth from the fatigue. I have a doctors appointment today. I do not know how I am going to get through it. And yes, he is in the next room, screaming his lungs out while I type this. I can see this is an all night nursing job tonight. When I sign off, I will go back in there to be awake for the night to nurse him. Then, somehow, oddly, despite nursing the entire night long, come morning, he will wake right up, full of energy, while I sit and cry from the complete lack of sleep.

Is this going to hurt the baby I am pregnant with? I mean, how long can a person go without sleep or with very little sleep before it affects the baby inside? I have no clue as to what else to do at this point. There is NOTHING working. A couple nights ago, he got ice cream at 3am to stop the screaming. We cannot keep doing ice cream in the middle of the night. 

So, I really do not want to do CIO..but do I need to, for the health and safety of me and the baby I am expecting? I hate to do it and it is complete last resort, but I cannot see any other options at this point.

[Katielady]

If you google "Dr Jay Gordon nightwean" there's a great article by him on how to do this in a gentle way. Hugs to you mama- I know it's so hard! We used his method and it worked great.

One thing that helped us is using a twin bed in my daughter's room (with a bed rail) instead of the crib. That way when we were transitioning from weaning, I could lie next to her and soothe her with my presence without actually nursing. She was mad about it and cried, but I was right there, so I felt like it was OK. Now we are working on her falling asleep with me sitting at the end of the bed (with an ipod so I don't get bored) so she can wean from needing me right next to her. One step at a time! You can do it.

[PatioGardener]

here is jay gordon's night weaning method

i wonder if your toddler is hungry, as most often mama's milk supply really dips in pregnancy. have you tried a cup of another milk (cow, goat, or artificial baby milk?) to see if that is the case?

nak

[Lisa1970]

We did try regular milk, but we have only been giving him water at night. I think I will try to get some toddler milk for tonight.

[Drummer's Wife]

Are you unable to fall back asleep after he latches on?  I guess I just got good at that, even when tandem nursing and co-sleeping with two. 

Can your DH take over at night and find another way to soothe him? 

Hope you get some good sleep soon.

[Lisa1970]

We tried dh taking over at night. But that did not help at all and the baby still screamed all night. Then, over a week ago, we found DH's position at work was being terminated. So now dh is working extra hard to "prove" himself so that they will not get rid of him. He basically has to convince them to let him go back to his old job, which would basically be a demotion, but he liked his old job better. He is a software developer. He was anyway, and he liked it. He is a manager now. But, they are ridding of his position as they have too many managers for what they are doing but seem to be a developer short. SO, in light of that, I don't want to push it anymore with dh as he was falling asleep at work sometimes from being up all night long with the baby. Without the nursing at all, it was the entire night. The baby did not give in. I would start the night out and dh would take over by 2am but the baby would scream until I got him back the next day. Sure, I got sleep, but dh got none.

[Drummer's Wife]

That makes sense; of course your DH needs sleep, too.  I was just wondering b/c I know some LO's are comforted easily by someone else at night and/or sleep through the night if they know mom is not right there and available to nurse. 

I've heard good things about Jay Gordon's night-weaning linked above, but no experience with it myself. 

[Katielady]

I wouldn't do toddler milk at night, I'd just try to get as many calories as possible into him during the day. You want him to be able to go the night (at least 8 hrs) without eating. Can you load him up with some kind of favorite nutritious snack like cheese or fruit or something before bedtime? Or maybe a smoothie with yogurt and fruit?

[Drummer's Wife]

Oh, are you wanting to wean completely or just at night?  the only thing I know is that night-weaning doesn't necessarily equal sleeping through the night.  I actually think it's a lot easier to comfort and get a LO back to sleep when you are nursing than when you are not - but that's assuming that night-waking continues to occur.  My experience with four kids has been pretty different - so it's hard to say how it would go. 

[Katielady]

Originally Posted by Drummer's Wife 

Oh, are you wanting to wean completely or just at night?  the only thing I know is that night-weaning doesn't necessarily equal sleeping through the night.  I actually think it's a lot easier to comfort and get a LO back to sleep when you are nursing than when you are not - but that's assuming that night-waking continues to occur.  My experience with four kids has been pretty different - so it's hard to say how it would go. 

I found that true when they were babies, but once my daughter was 18 months or so I started to resent all the night-nursing and felt it had become an unnecessary habit. It's true though that if they're used to having help getting to sleep, night-weaning alone won't solve that. For us, it was the first step towards weaning from having quite so much night comforting. We've been doing it slooooowly and seeing great results. Like, I've been having her go to sleep w/o me lying down next to her (I sit on the end of the bed instead) for a few weeks now, and she's slowly starting to STTN. Last night she slept from 8-6.