Is there no turning back?

[grumpybear]

So we are in a precarious position where I put my son in the lottery for a very good charter school- probably the best in our district. My ideal scenario would have been to have us somewhere on the waitlist so we could homeschool for a full year and then if we get moved up, we'll have the option to enroll next year. Fortunately or unfortunately, his name got drawn. So we pretty much have until early next week to confirm our slot.

Like I mentioned, I like the school. I have visited the school and I feel that it resonates with our vision for our family. HOWEVER, this school only goes to 6th grade. Which means that by middle/high school, my son would either have to go to the public (noncharter) middle school and high school. Frankly, I am quite horrified by that thought.

Am I crazy for thinking that we could probably have him attend this charter school for K-6 and then homeschool him from middle school to high school?

A very big reason for us considering the charter school for him is that he really does not have much in the form of playmates. We go to public playgroups but that is pretty much it as far as peers go. I am not a very friendly person so I do not have this great network of friends that have kids around my son's age. And even with those few acquaintances that I have, they send their kids to public school. SO really, not very much in common there.

I really am at a loss on what to do. Please share some thoughts.

[kathymuggle]

Thoughts:

It does not start til next year, right?  I would say yes now and take the summer to think it over.  

I would not necessarily make a decision on middle school and high school when a child is young.  Who knows what you or he will want to do then?

I do not think it is difficult to HS a middle or high schooler - but it helps if they want to be HSed.  If he goes to school he might want to continue.  If you are Ok with that  - enrol him.  

[AAK]

Say yes.  

You can always drop it.  Heck, you might love the charter for the first two years and then decide/discover that it isn't working out for you.  Or, it may be the best thing for your child and your family.  You wouldn't ever know this if you didn't give it a chance.  Homeschooling is ALWAYS an option.  My mom wishes she would have just pulled us out during the middle school years.  I know moms who are doing just that!  But, we have so many choices now. . . charters, ps, hs, part time enrollment, virtual schools, etc.  Who knows what options will be available when your child is ready to move on to 7th grade.

Point is, this particular opportunity is a "now or never" scenario.  If you decide to say no, be VERY sure of that choice.  It doesn't sound like you want to fall back on the local public school if hs doesn't work out for you.

Amy

[briansmama]

I would think really hard about introducing public school if you know you don't want to continue within the system going forward, if you are in the position to do so.

I've seen great charters and have thought about them at times when it seemed my older ds needed more playtime with friends than I could give him caring for his younger brother. BUT, all the really good ones in our area stopped at 6th grade and the middle school options horrified me as well. I've also known parents who had a hard time convincing their kids to homeschool after they got used to constantly being with their peers in a school setting.

So, we never did the charter school thing and now that ds2 is older we are having the best time homeschooling! The older your ds gets the more he'll figure out which activities he enjoys and you don't necessarily have to be friends with the other moms to facilitate those friendships. My older ds is 7 and takes classes for homeschoolers that last 2 hours at a time and I drop him off (they are organized activities and all the parents drop off). I've even been called by parents of kids he's met in classes like this asking if we could set up a playdate for the kids only (obviously with a parent home, but not one that I made friends with or knew previously).

My point is the socialization thing really does get so much easier and somewhat independent of you if your child is out taking classes and participating in the many activities offered to homeschoolers (and even kids who go to school) these days.

HTH!

[Lisa1970]

I would not send him unless you just really want a break from home schooling. Here is why.....When kids hit middle school level, they are often so conditioned by the public schools to be that way. I mean..everyone has to be the same, look the same, think the same...breathe the same. They must be cool too. They cannot like something or be interested in something not approved by their peers. They all pretty much have matching clothes and matching clothes (yet, they think they are being individuals with those hairs styles and clothes). They are generally conditioned to be enough, but just enough, to get by. 

My teens are currently in one of those highly sought after charter schools. It has been awful! A lot of the social pressures of the local public school are gone. No suicides at the school yet and no one dealing drugs in the classrooms that my teens have seen yet. But it still has a lot of problems. Parents many times get so worked up over a school being great just because it is hard to get in to. But it is not really that great. Once inside, when you look much closer, it is still just a big institutionalized school. My teens are spending the entire month of TAKs test review. The school pretended to be all college prep and oh so hard. Instead, it is a joke. They are in AP classes that are AP in name only. I am not saying that is how it would be at the charter school your kids got in to, I am just saying, just because everyone is falling all over themselves to get in does not mean it is that great. You said everyone says it is so great, but you never said what you really like about it.

But back to the issues. I have found the early years to be pivotal in training our children to be what they can be, should be, etc. If they are in school, with lots of other kids, chances are, they will end up only being just like everyone else. They will judge their selfworth based on what the other kids or teachers deem them to be. A child who might have become a great botanist, suddenly cannot, because he was never the smart on in school, or plants are for girls, or something like that. They just cannot spread their wings and become who they are meant to become in a environment like that. If they are there until 7th grade, then it will be hard to get them to go back and find who they are, after spending those important years having everyone else telling them who they are, what they can like, etc. 

I hope that helps.

[Lisa1970]

I want to add that my daughter home schooled from 3rd grade to 8th. We had an amazing time. But I tried to start with my son much older, but he was already thinking he was the weird one, he was the outcast, etc. He had already developed his awful study/learning habits..do the bare minimum. Figure out how little he can skate by with and go for that. He thought he liked things he did not like, because he thought he liked them because the other kids liked them. He learned really bad habits on how to manipulate the system. He was always trying to skate through, so even when he had the chance to pick what he wanted and learn all he wanted about it himself, he just could not. He needed his work handed to him, told exactly what to do. Then the first thing he would do is try to calculate how little he could get away with. He loves to perform. But, when faced with the chance to play a part at a community theater, he refused. He said only girls do it. He was actually bawling and insisting he not do it claiming people would call him gay. He would not have been the only boy! There were several boys in it but he learned 1) gay is bad and 2) if you do something like be in a play, you are gay...at school. So, despite the fact that I am sure this would have been a passion for it, he could never break past those labels. I wish he had been home during those earlier years.

For my younger children, I know there is no way I would send them to the middle school. The grade school might not be so bad, but I do not want them all mixed up in that culture knowing they will not be allowed to continue. I also do not want him to become just like everyone else. I don't want them to be just a bunch of drones, following the crowds. And frankly, wasting their days at the schools. Those kids spend so much of their days on nonsense. Just because they are busy, and worn out at the end of the day, does not make it good stuff. Much of what they do is nonsense and a waste of time. I don't want my children wasting their time on that stuff. And most of all..I don't want them to become just another matching drone at the schools, stifled of any independent thought or being. and have all those bad habits and the low self esteem and so on.