2 1/2 year old and a newborn on the way.. Dad is a offshore fisherman so therefore NEVER home......

[duedate]

My husband is an offshore fisherman, so he goes out 10 days at a time and comes home only 1, 2 possibly 3 days at a time if I'm lucky. It has always just been my son and I alone, so I'm just nervous as to how to handle him while having a newborn and all of her demands... any suggestions on how to get through this ???????? I'm also super stressed out because of a custody battle I am going to through with my first son.. so I'm willing to do anything to get a little stress relief..

[bananabee]

Mom groups...swap sitting with others, make very short to-do lists, hire a housekeeper, fill your freezer w/homemade soups and dinners. Make sure your son has lots of books, building blocks, legos, etc to keep him occupied. Play music that you really like, have fun routines with your son that involve snuggling in bed, cooking together, folding laundry together. Sorry if that isn't very helpful. It's obviously not going to be easy. Military wives could probably give you a lot of tips. 

[secondimpression]

This sounds a TON like my situation...DD was born when DS was 17 months (different fathers) and DP was going to school fulltime then working full time. He always made a point of coming home inbetween school and work for that half-hour which meant the world to the kids and I but still meant that I was doing everything alone 5 days a week. I also had way too much time on my hands to stress about the divorce from DS's father and the possibility of a serious custody case.

My advice is to network with other moms (and anyone else, really). TV is not the devil. Microwave dinners are also not the end of the world. Clean only what absolutely MUST be cleaned. And get out of the house whenever you can. Otherwise, you'll find a way to make it all work. It's so hard, but you can do it!

[Phoenix~Mama]

It's hard... but somehow you keep going and get through it... and time does help it get easier.  I wish I had some magical advice, but really, surviving is the only thing I found.

I brought my son home when daughter was only 20 months old.  And he was a preemie and had a month long NICU stay and couldn't nurse, so I was pumping around the clock as well as feeding him, as well as taking care of my daughter.  There were many times where both were crying at the same time, and I really just wanted to sit and do the same.  lol 

Somehow, you find a groove... your 2.5 year old may totally love her new sibling and be a big help.  Already as daughter gets older she is starting to have more and more understanding and empathy for her brother when he is crying.  Finding a balance to be a loving Mama to both is hard... and I'm still working on that, as one is obviously more needy right now than the other since the baby can't do anything for himself.  lol

Be gentle with yourself.  You are only one person... and some things will slide... and that is okay.  You can't do it all.  You will have times you cry... and that's okay too.  I can tell you there are also really good days and you sit back and are like, "wow!  I got SO much done today!" and be amazed and wonder how especially on the days where nothing gets done and both kids are very hands on.  lol  Go with the flow and just do the best you can. 

Congratulations on your new addition!