Bruises at Daycare--please help. What to do? - Page 2

[justKate]

Quote:

Originally Posted by scottishmommy 

Have you noticed bruising anywhere else? The only reason I ask is because I had a friend who had ITP as a toddler ( a blood disease). It usually shows up when they are between the ages of 2 and 4 and disappears within 6 months or so. I remember that her mother first noticed bruises in her ear from a q tip swab. Then the bruises started showing up everywhere. I would take her to her pediatrician just to be sure. I certainly hope no one hurt your child. What an awful thing to worry about

 She bruises fairly easily, like me.  But those bruises are always in places I would expect them--like on the knees, mostly.  I read about ITP last night, and I'll definitely keep an eye out for the petechiae.  Like a PP said, I get those on my shoulders from carrying heavy bags too, but I've never seen them on DD.

[Mosaic]

I hesitate to post this because I'm afraid it will make me seem like a bad/naive mother; but I suppose if that's the case, I could use the flaming I'm about to get.

I can't see the injuries in the pictures that well, but I'm not convinced they are finger/nail injuries. My daughter came home from daycare multiple times with more bruises and scratches than I could count, and some of them were concerning. It always turned out that it was something totally random: she liked to lean against a bookcase that had little knobs sticking out at the joints, or she was frequently squeezing herself into some bizarre place to get a toy.

When I did pull DD from a daycare, there wasn't a mark on her. But the teachers were mean and borderline neglectful, and my mama instints were going bonkers every second of the 3 weeks she was there. And honestly, I think this kind of abuse is a lot more common than the kind that would leave marks. (that school was shut down a year after we left, so I guess I wasn't crazy.)

The teachers and staff are being caring and responsive. You've never gotten a bad vibe from them before. Your daughter likes going there. Honestly, I wouldn't be at all surprised if J hit her hard enough to leave marks, though I would be surprised if your teachers didn't know that was going on. If you feel that your child is safe there, I would trust that feeling.

[Dr.Worm]

I agree with this.  I also am thinking if your dd does have this and you have it on file that you took her to the doctor it is a good thing.  Because if it turns out that the doctor says she doesn't have the blood disease and that she was abused...you are shown doing the right thing.  If the daycare is abusing her they may try to turn it around and say you did it to save their own butts.  It's highly unlikely that a mom beating her kid would be taking her to the doctor.  I also agree with those who said take pictures and also document the dates this happened.  I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. 

 

Originally Posted by scottishmommy 

Have you noticed bruising anywhere else? The only reason I ask is because I had a friend who had ITP as a toddler ( a blood disease). It usually shows up when they are between the ages of 2 and 4 and disappears within 6 months or so. I remember that her mother first noticed bruises in her ear from a q tip swab. Then the bruises started showing up everywhere. I would take her to her pediatrician just to be sure. I certainly hope no one hurt your child. What an awful thing to worry about

[MamaMunchkin]

Can a 2-yr old - J - hit hard enough to bruise?  Not sure ... But, it's part of the teachers' job to make sure kids don't hit each other .. hard or not ... So, even without the bruises - your DC complaining about a friend hitting her is enough of a concern to talk to the providers.

Hope things will improve. Good idea about the doctor - hope it won't happen again.

Edited by MamaMunchkin - 4/8/11 at 8:51am

[One_Girl]

Is it possible that she rolled onto a lego there?  Those things are hard and leave round marks.  I also couldn't see distinct marks but that may be because the image is scanned in.  My dd also came home with random marks everywhere but nothing unexplainable.  She rough housed a lot, ran inside, and didn't watch where she was going half the time so there was nothing surprising.  I think it is good for you to follow your instincts on this and don't hesitate to pull her out if you don't feel comfortable even with the steps they are taking.

[Greenlea]

My older son has been in in-home daycares since he was 6 weeks old.  Every time he got hurt, or another child hurt him, I was told about it when I would go pick him up, especially if it left marks like that. 

If "J" is hurting her hard enough to leave these bruises, I'm assuming she would cry when she got hurt, right?  If not merely for the fact that someone, or her friend, is hitting her.  The teacher would know if she got hurt or if another child hurt her, especially if she cried when it happened.

Perhaps you could ask the daycare to watch her interactions with "J" and see if she really is hitting your daughter.

[poorlittlefish]

I got goosebumps seeing those pictures, mama.  I would take my DD to the Dr. to rule out anemia or anything like that and never take her back to that daycare.  My DD and another boy at daycare go at it often but he has never bruised her. Those look like adult fingerprints to me.  One time is one thing but 2, no way. 

Like the other have said, trust your gut.

[Jend1002]

Quote:

Originally Posted by justKate 

Other issues--DD says her friend "J" hurts her.  J is tiny like DD and only 4 days older, and there's no way that J could do that, or make fingernail marks that far apart on her back.  Is she saying J hurts her because she knows J is her friend, i.e. "safe?"  She says "J my hurt me!"  She's not very verbal at all and I think she thinks of "hurt" as an emotional thing rather than a physical thing, like hurt feelings.  She also says "my mommy hurt me" when I tell her not to do something from the other room.

I think that the previous posts have said a lot about the bruises, and I seriously hope no one is hurting your child!  Leaving your child in the care of another is hard enough but to then have to worry about this is a lot to take. 

I wanted to comment on the quote I pasted above though - my son frequently told me that something or someone "hurt" him and I was starting to get incredibly worried. He even told me that one of his daycare teachers hurt him, which had me really upset.  I later learned that he was saying "hurt" but meant "scared."  I only realized what he meant because we were together when something really scared him and he later told me that that thing hurt him, and repeated it on several occasions.  I bet you are onto something with DD saying "hurt" but meaning something different.  I hope that this at least may ease your mind about her friend hurting her. 

[lunarlady]

I really hope your caregivers are not responsible for the marks on your DD! I just wanted you to know that yes, kids can and do hit each other hard enough to leave marks. My DD went through a rough housing stage that included hitting with sticks,walking or jumping on somebody on the ground, throwing rocks and biting among other terrible behaviors that shocked, shamed, and scared me. Her DCP at the time said that it is normal for some children to go through this stage (ie my DD is not a sociopath) and that they watched her carefully and always squashed these behaviors immediately. But obviously once is all it takes to bruise another child. Maybe her friend J is going through a similar stage. You might mention it to your DCP in case they need to keep an eye on J.

[Ellien C]

I agree that you should trust your momma instincts. I will also add that *I* leave bruises on my sensitive skinned daughter when I pick her up. I think it's a combination of my small fingers and her skin (pale, bruises easily) and how I hold her - how much she's willing to cling in order to be with me. Really, the bruises are pretty much limited to me - it doesn't happen with DH. I found them on her legs, under her but, very ocasionally an arm. Just saying it can happen that way.

[hildare]

so sorry this is happening to you...

my only thought is this:  if you grabbed a falling child like a pp suggested, you'd kind of KNOW it was an 'oops' thing.  you might know it would bruise.  if you were a child care provider, it seems to me as though you'd document that in case it came up.. or you'd let a parent know that it happened so no one would wonder.  the absence of any communication to that effect would to me mean it was either on purpose by one of the daycare folks or it wasn't caused by one of the workers (and it was the J child.. i do know that bruises can spread from the initial contact so maybe it is possible that the child grabbed her and the bruises look further apart now after the fact)...