The BACK STORY
my XH and I had a very nasty divorce. His mother was part of the reason for this, the other side was him having mental health issues. I was able to protect my children in the long run all be it many years into it. those boys are now 16 and 12. they do not see their father currently (due to a breech of custody order and refusal to comply with counseling) he has also chosen to not have any contact with them (his choice)
XH mother fought me for custody at one point and that was a mess. She obviously did not win and was not even given visitations because she would bad mouth me to the children and was just nasty to them about me. after 2 years of her not seeing them we slowly worked out her seeing them one Christmas when I reached out to her. slowly she was allowed to spend more and more time with them. Currently she seems them once a month for the weekend, more isn't really feasible since they have tons of school stuff and friends etc.
we offered her time for her birthday weekend and she took them from Friday at 5 to Sunday before church. the boys came home sullen and cranky as usual which i usually attribute to less sleep/poor eating/endless video games. not an issue since its once a month and shes a grandparent. whatever.
turns out shes bad mouthing me to the boys again. talking about how I'M a control freak, its not fair I grounded DS1 from his phone. not fair that when XH snuck him a phone I tool that away too. that she refuses to help him pay for his wrestling summer camp (500$) because she thinks I will just spend the money. she even went as far as to tell DS1 that he should move in with her to "get out from under my thumb"
I have decided to stop visits for a bit. that was at the beginning of march and just now have I stopped getting attitude and crap from my boys. Every time I would ask them to do anything they say I'm so controlling or other comments like that.
I ha vent spoken to her since I found all this out. I am still furious. Am I overreacting? what would you say to her in this situation