So my little Claira is turning 9 weeks this week, I can't believe it! She's already 11 lbs. 9 oz. and 25' long, happy as can be and a great sleeper! We are still ebf-ing and that is going great, too, except if I can complain about one thing it would be my still fast letdown that I have to catch in a cup at every feed, but I've gotten use to it now. Does anyone else feel like there are a lot of people that try and give you an 'out' of breastfeeding? Like they are trying to say, 'You can quit soon if you want. You're baby seems great.' My doctor said I can start her on solids at 4 months if I wanted to start to wean her early and my mom was trying to tell me that babies that bf for a year get bloated and unhealthy.....??huh?? Yea, ok, whatever....haha.
I'm considering using just ebf-ing and half-ass-edly watching my cervical mucus as my only birth control. Actually, that is all I am doing at the moment since I quit my mini pill after taking it for about a week and a half. I can't stand the mood swings it gave me, and I figure going off of it made me a better wife and mom. I have been playing a million scenarios in my head of, 'Should I pump some and nurse at night? Would that be easier? Should I go back on the pill? When should we try to get pregnant again? When will my periods return? What if I get pregnant and then I regret it? What if I get pregnant and the baby is super colicky and nothing like our easy-going Claira? Should I just quit nursing so I can lose the last bit of weight faster and then get my period back so I can follow my cycle better? What will that help? What if this? What if that? Blah blah blah blah....!'
So I guess to save me the anxiety of all those different questions I have decided to kick-it-old-school: Nurse as long as possible/or until baby wants to stop/or I get pregnant again and can no longer nurse, and start her on solids whenever she looks interested enough. The only problem is that I haven't informed my husband of this. He is such a worry wort and over analyzes everything and I'm not sure how to bring it up without sending him into such a tizzy that he would not even be able to have or enjoy sex. And he was such a good sport through my pregnancy I really don't want to give him another reason to feel like he can't have sex. I guess I feel like if somehow we got pregnant again within the next year we would be able to handle it, and why worry about something before it even happens. I am still feeling a lot of guilt though.
Ugh! It feels good to be rid of the anxiety, I just wish I could get rid of the guilt. I hope I can find the right way to bring it up sooner rather than later.
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